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Old 11-28-2018, 08:35 AM   #1  
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Exclamation I don't recognize myself after small loss

Greetings!

I have a problem that I either haven't used the correct search terms for, or that does not widely exist. First, some general info.

I'm a lifetime fat girl. I have moderate to severe anxiety issues. I'm 41 and have been some stage of fat for as long as I can remember. My weight has been mostly stable for the past 12 years or so, but previous to that I did the yo yo dieting thing, losing, gaining back, gaining extra, over and over again. I just finally decided that the up and down was worse than a stable fatness, and stable I stayed.

I recently moved out of the US to Taiwan. Fresh, real food is WAY more accessible and affordable here. We also have fantastic public transportation. In addition to those perks, just due to the culture, I have much less stress.

The upshot of all of that, is that since I've been here I have been slowly and steadily losing weight. All of my clothes are loose, my stamina is better, i can have full conversations while walking without being out of breath. This is fantastic, because it's incidental to real lifestyle changes, which makes me hopeful that the weight loss will continue and will last. I don't have a scale, and for mental health reasons, don't want to buy one, so all I know for sure is that 6 weeks ago at a doctor's appointment my weight was 24lbs less than before I moved.

Now to the problem.

I am experiencing very severe stress/disorientation/instability, I don't know how to describe it, when I look at myself. My face in the mirror does not look familiar, and it's jarring. My hands are thinner and not recognizable as mine. Today, I was sitting in bed, my feet out in front of me and I DID NOT recognize them as my own, even when I moved my toes. It was very disturbing and continues to be disturbing when I catch sight of them again. When I walk, my thighs don't rub in the same way they used to, my arms fit closer to my body, it takes less force to move my limbs (I almost fell when I swung my leg too forcefully for the new weight when walking). When I'm going to sleep, my usual positions for sleeping aren't the same, limbs are in different spots than usual, arms don't rest the same. I can feel pointy bones in my joints and resting my elbows on my thighs now HURTS. For the past 3 months, it seems like at least 2 or 3 times per week, something is SO different that it's disturbing to a high degree.

tl/dr - I've lost weight, my familiar, fat body is literally foreign and unrecognizable to me and it is disorienting and very stressful.

Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any advice for how to deal with it?
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Old 12-04-2018, 11:20 PM   #2  
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Time helps, and it does get better! I lost 130 pounds and occasionally I would wonder whose reflection it was in the mirror or catch myself wondering who this slim lady in the pictures was, until I realized they were my clothes and it was me. (Happy surprise!)
I realized how much I identified myself by my appearance and not by my character. Your brain will catch up, dont let it freak you out. It sounds like its good changes so Id embrace it and rather than freaking out, stop that thought train and tell yourself that you are physically changing and getting healthier but you are who you have always been.
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Old 12-05-2018, 10:55 PM   #3  
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I agree with JulesMarion that a lot of people experience an adjustment period after losing or gaining a lot of weight, and this could just be difficulty transitioning for you. However, if it is something that is bothering you this severely, you may be experiencing some form of body dysmorphia, and I would bring it up with your doctor. There's no harm in getting a professional opinion if you are truly upset about something. I hope you get some answers!

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Old 12-06-2018, 03:22 AM   #4  
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Last time I lost weight it was in 2012/13 and it was 125 lbs taking me down from a size 28 to a size 16. Everytime I went clothes shopping id grab all my clothes in a size 28 and when My husband, my mother , a friend or whoever was shopping with me would said “Funny carrie, Whatcha doing silly girl” I would freeze and respond that these were my size and Im gonna try them on. Theyd reply “oh yea they WERE your size and your going to see the difference you are. To see how much progress youve made by seeing that those clothes swallow you” and Id tell them No, that I was trying them on the purchase them if I like the fit.
I ended up in mental counseling for awhile.
Its a very wierd thing to experience.
Gd luck and CONGRATS ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS!

Last edited by Carriesgonnalose; 12-06-2018 at 03:24 AM.
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Old 12-07-2018, 08:46 PM   #5  
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Sounds like good problems broken.

How many inches did you lose off of your waist ?
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