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Old 02-15-2018, 01:31 PM   #1  
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Default Frustrated By Myself

I am now the highest weight I've ever been in my life. At 5'6", I'm 256.4 pounds. I know that I could have let myself get even bigger before deciding to do something about it, so I'm thankful at least for having chosen to join 3FC.

Still, I'm feeling so down and frustrated by my lack of fitness that I'm finding it hard to motivate myself. There's this one photo of me that my real estate office posted on Facebook which shames me so greatly. I'm sure that they thought it was a perfectly decent photo of me, but... UGH. It's really not.

There are all sorts of excuses that I can point to for why am at this peak weight, all of them tied to emotional eating, but I'm done looking at the why. I need to move forward. The only reason I might want to look back is to find ways to retrain myself from relying on fattening foods as an emotional crutch.

Does anyone out there have any advice or similar stories? I'm feeling kind of lonely over here with my excess pounds.
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Old 02-15-2018, 02:40 PM   #2  
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Hi SantaClaritaDiet! I wish you so much success in finding a plan and success on your route to your healthy self! I invite you to check out the Beck Diet Solution - it's not a food diet - but a mental approach to use in conjunction with whatever healthy eating plan you are using ... to try to ensure that the healthy habits stick. I confess I LIKE it but don't always use the full array of skills that are presented in the book...but we have a very supportive group over in the Diet Central area if you're interested. We're at all points in our journeys, and sometimes just knowing others are rooting for your success makes the different between hauling yourself back up on the wagon or saying, 'what the heck'. Good luck in whatever you choose!
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Old 02-15-2018, 02:54 PM   #3  
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Thanks so much, nationalparker. I will definitely check out the Beck Diet Solution book and see if that helps. Also, I'll probably see you over in Diet Central.
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Old 02-15-2018, 03:48 PM   #4  
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One thing that I found very helpful was to not keep junk food around my place. It it's there, I will eat it, especially baked goods. Whenever I bake something, and I like to bake, I take most of it to work, where my co-workers devour it all.
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Old 02-16-2018, 08:45 AM   #5  
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SantaClaritaDiet you are NOT alone! I have been on and off this forum for years and the only result is, I am now heavier than ever. I firmly decided to go back to dieting (in may case, keto diet, as I really find it useful) at the beginning of January but here I go - end of February is approaching and still weight just as much as I did at the end of 2017. It's not like keto doesn't work for me anymore - I'm just fooling myself thinkking "not today, I will start tommorow". I can't find the courage, I don't know what's wrong with me. And I'm 246 pounds. My clothes don't fit. I saw a photo of me the other day and I was appalled.

I think I need a buddy to keep me accountable. Will you be my buddy?

I know what I have to do. I have to log on here every day and report about my progress, not just victories, but losses also. Every day. Every. Day. It's what works for me. But I can't do it alone. If you feel like having someone to share the little victories (and losses) with, then I'm right here!
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Old 03-01-2018, 03:46 AM   #6  
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I hit my all time highest weight recently too, and it is such a depressing feeling. I re-weighed myself a couple of times on the scale because I couldn't believe it. It's easy to feel despair that it's so far gone, why not just eat a cookie, because who cares. What's helped me is to enlist my sister and some women friends to check in with. It's not formal, just checking in a couple times a week about how it's going. I also have had to think about this change as a new chapter and new lifestyle, not a diet fix that is eventually going to allow me to go back to eating things that are unhealthy for me. I had to decide that those days are over. Kind of like breaking up with someone, or quitting a job, actually.

Something that's been helpful for me is to think a lot about when I was the weight I now want to be at. I was single and dancing (and crying) a lot (in my early 30's), and I I think having those expressive outlets was helpful, and also being single I didn't have a tall, skinny man in the house who loves potato chips and cheddar cheese. Because my life is different now, I've had to flip a mental switch inside myself in order to commit to a new lifestyle: I have had to decide on some deep level that I need a new chapter and nobody is going to do that for me except me, and I can't let anybody else's potato chip addiction stop me, either Food is such an easy and controllable way to get dopamine, serotonin, and other feel-good neurotransmitters going, I think it's also important to make those chemicals happen in other ways. I am taking a stained glass class, and that makes me happy. I also try to laugh a lot with my husband, which makes me happy.

Part of my seeing this as a new lifestyle helps me not be so impatient (I tend to be an impatient person). Like it might take 6 months or a year to lose the weight, but in a way that doesn't matter because this new lifestyle is just going to be the way I live. Seeing it that way doesn't set me up for feeling like a failure when the pounds don't drop off really fast, which is when i would normally give up and sabotage myself.

I wish you the best!
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