So I want to be accountable for all that I do - junk food I eat, exercise I do and don't do, times I set my alarm early to have breakfast at home and then sleep in!! So this is where I need your help. I plan on posting in here on a regular basis and I'll be sharing everything. I need to do this.... I have to lose weight...

I am currently 157.2 kilos - as of this morning. Come Sunday, I'll be weighing myself again and then it'll be on a weekly basis on Sunday morning. And yes, that's right - I'm nearly 160 kilos and I'm only 36. Depressing isn't it.

I have medical conditions which make it difficult to lose weight - and while being completely honest, to a certain degree, I have used this as a bit of an excuse sometimes. Why bother trying to lose weight when my medical conditions make it hard. But on the other hand, if I lose weight, then I won't have those medical conditions. No more sleep apnea. No more PCOS. No more hypothyroidism.

I have no kids. Wow... well, that should be motivation right there. Lose weight and have kids. Yep, should work in theory. But in my life, it's not. Why? I don't know! Still haven't figured this out yet. I want kids more than anything else, but it isn't pushing me to do anything.

My mum and my grandmother both have diabetes and I am at a great risk to get it. Another awesome reason to lose weight. Another thing that isn't clicking in my head.

My knees are stuffing up because of my weight - every now and then, they pop out and then back in again. So yes, losing weight would help this so much. But here I am constantly worried about if the next time I get up off the bed, which knee will hurt and if one will just go.

So many great reasons to lose weight. And yet, here I am nearly 160 kilos and feeling like a big, fat, ugly, disgusting, lazy, slob. I never wanted to be this big. But it crept up on me - the cheeky bugger.

So I'm back at the start and trying again. For the umpteenth time.. I've been trying to lose weight since I was in my teens.

I have minimal support with my family. My mum won't be supportive at all - she just thinks that eventually I'll give up again. My partner is very supportive and I know he will push me. I have friends that are suportive. And my boss is supportive too - to the point where we are now having a competition to see who can lose 10 kilos faster - I wanna kick his ***, but knowing my luck, I'll lose!!

I've started using my fitness pal again. Well, logging in the diary - I've kept my daily streak up though. And tonight I got on the wii again after nearly 6 months. I didn't do anything too strenuous but I did over on hour of various activities on wii sports. It's a start and I enjoyed it - beat my streak on one of the tennis training games.

Tomorrow, I plan on cooking eggs for breakfast. And taking some water to work with me. Over the weekend, I plan on sitting down as little as possible - might take the dog for a walk (weather permitting), go on the wii again and anything I can think of.

Time for me to take back my health!

Omigosh I related to your post so much, that said quit being so mean to yourself! This isn't EASY and no one else has to live your life but you, you have to reclaim your life for YOU, and this is speaking as someone who has similar health issues as you (PCOS, sleep apnea for sure, possibly thyroid issues as well). Change out of self-love, not self-hate, the latter doesn't usually motivate us for very long.

Not sure if you're on medication & I'm not a medical professional but seaweed helped me lose weight a few years ago (I think because the iodine helped kickstart my thyroid, again not a professional just my experience), I think it's worth trying. It didn't work much after the first few weeks lol, that part was on me, but it was nice to go from 315.8 lbs. down to 301.6 in a matter of weeks (I hadn't changed my diet yet when this happened, just included seaweed).

I loved this part of your post -
You're off to a great start, and as a woman going through similar issues remember this -
"Little things make a big difference." If you can only do 10 minutes or so of activity next time, or anytime it counts compared to NO ACTIVITY. If you drink one less fizzy drink, it helps. One less serving of something fattening, it all helps, it all adds up.

Also don't worry about the big picture, focus on smaller goals, like 5kg, or 10kg at a time, gradually it will add up.

Lastly Youtube & Instagram are some of my best friends for motivation, there's a young woman on FB & Instagram I follow named fatgirlfedup, here's her instagram https://www.instagram.com/fatgirlfedup/ in less than a year and a half she's lost more than I weigh (she lost 285 lbs., I weigh 256.6 lbs. for reference , oh and my highest was 350 lbs. and 158.7kg).

You've got this, one choice, and one pound, one kg at a time.

I think almost everyone on this site an relate to the starting and falling again and again. My Fitness Pal is a great place to start! Changing just one thing at a time, one day at a time does add up! The wii sounds like you have a great start on movement. Also a great place to get at home free workouts is fitnessblender.com You can search for free videos that will fit your needs, i.e. cardio, low impact, upper body, lower body, length, any equipment or just body weight.

I am on my fitness pal too if you send me a request at lmlmrn we can support each other.

Also check out the daily accountability thread here for the month of June, that group is supper supportive

Oh wow... Truth be told, I wasn't sure if anyone would comment, but I am really happy that you guys have. Thank you

Well, I did it!! I cooked fried eggs for breakfast - 3 fried eggs on toast. I know that you might think that it isn't that healthy, but I enjoy it and it fills me up. 2 eggs don't fill me up, but 3 is enough. And its better than getting a bacon and egg sandwich on the way to work. And instead of coke this morning with breakfast, I had a glass of juice. I didn't stop on the way to work, so will not be drinking coke at all today - instead I have a bottle of water sitting on my desk.

And unless I get coke when I go to the shops this afternoon, my partner and I will not be having any tonight or over the weekend. We aren't going to cut it out completely but we do want to limit how much we have and not keep buying cartons of cans for home.

Tonight we are having pizza - store bought. And then depending on the time, after dinner, I might go on the wii again. Hmm... What music shall I listen to while playing Grand Slam Tennis. I'm thinking Ellie Goulding to start with

You go girl!!!!

I see you migrated to the daily accountability thread....some great peeps there

Yeah I did - also added you as a friend on myfitnesspal

I think I'm finally at my limit - fed up with feeling the way I do