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Old 04-24-2017, 07:25 PM   #1  
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Default My coworkers comment about my weight?

I weigh 168 and I am 5.4. I don't think I am all that heavy am I? Most people tell me I look good, but my coworkers are kind of weird about it.

Maybe I am still really heavy though.

My boss who is very skinny, made a comment to two of my other coworkers, who are also very skinny, about how they can eat whatever they want to, and not gain weight. She said this in front of me.

One of my coworkers, who's probably about 10-15 pounds heavy then I am, is always talking to my skinnier coworkers about how they can fit into regular women's clothes and not plus size. She didn't say anything to me. I don't even need the biggest size In the regular women's department.

Then my boss and this same coworker were talking to each other about my what size my coworkers grand daughter is. My coworker mentioned her grand daughter was like me, and my boss said chub?" I was really upset.

Am I overreacting? I feel hurt by their comments. I was 205 pounds when I started the job, and now I'm 168, and the comments haven't gotten any better. I feel like at my ideal weight they still will be making comments.

I'm not trying to stoop down to her level, but I think my coworker is in denial about how big she actually is. She makes comments like "if I was that big I'd kill myself." And it took about 2 minutes for her to zip up her coat, she really needed a bigger size. I'm not trying to be mean, but I really don't think she's as small as she thinks she is.

I don't fish for compliments or anything, so I don't talk about my weight loss, but, a 37 pound weight loss has to be noticeable doesn't it? No one has said anything. They've just made rude comments.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Last edited by Harrypotterrocks; 04-24-2017 at 07:26 PM.
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Old 04-24-2017, 08:32 PM   #2  
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These are discussions that should not be happening at work, especially by a supervisor. I would take this to HR and the whole company seems to need diversity training. JMO
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Old 04-24-2017, 09:22 PM   #3  
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Wannabehealthy is absolutely right, a freakin supervisor should not be initiating or contributing to this topic!! So very unprofessional on a business level, and so rude and insensitive on the personal level.

And you don't need our justification, lovely Harrypotterrocks, but 5' 4" and 168 is FINE and wow, you have lost 37 pounds??? that is GREAT!! I'm terrible at math but that's like 20% of yourself! The fact that the jerk co-workers haven't said anything, shows their insecurities. Of COURSE that is a noticeable loss!! it's fantastic!

I have heard my bosses (a married couple) make snide comments about their customers' weight and appearance, and even a coworker told me that she heard the bosses make comments about MY weight gain. That really made me mad ... they are awful people in other ways too so I just tried to forget it. Because they're awful humans, I shouldn't care about their opinion.

Try to distance yourself from these conversations, or just ignore them, or turn a cool eye to them and say 'you aren't REALLY making such personal comments, are you? oh, you are' and shame them

You are the lucky one to be empathetic and have good manners! they might be 'skinny' but they are shallow and have bitter, skinny souls
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Old 04-24-2017, 10:04 PM   #4  
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My coworkers constantly talk about dieting it's sooo annoying. My boss talks about it too, they compare notes about what they eat and lecture each other on what is bad for you. I think fad diets are stupid and it's not interesting enough to talk about everyday IMO.

At least they never call other coworkers fat though, that is way crossing the line. I would just dip-out if they are having that conversation. Just act busy and seem disinterested in the convo. If they are bullies they'll get bored of the topic if they see they aren't bothering you.

Last edited by bloominbutterflies; 04-24-2017 at 10:05 PM.
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Old 04-25-2017, 07:05 AM   #5  
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I own a business. I would classify that as not only gossip, but bullying.

I would say to go to your boss and give the "I feel" statements - I feel like...whatever...when you discuss weight and size of other employees and customers.

There is no way your weight loss isn't noticeable, but if it happened gradually and they see you every day they may have just gotten used to seeing you get smaller all the time. Near strangers and neighbors have noticed my weight loss, my closest friends have not.
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Old 04-25-2017, 08:40 AM   #6  
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I wouldn't want to work in that environment. Some of the comments probably weren't directed at you, some people are just clueless to their surroundings and have no idea how to sensor themselves. The boss calling you "Chub" is just wrong though. It amazes me how some people get into positions of power who have no business being there.

If someone calls you something like that or makes a comment about your body you have every right to say something, even if it is the boss. You don't have to be rude back. Just simple say something like, "I would appreciate you not talking about my size or body. It is not appropriate."

If it continues I would go to HR or your boss' boss. Standing up for yourself is perfectly acceptable and should be encouraged. If they don't care, that tells you something pretty significant about the organization you work for.
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Old 04-25-2017, 10:38 AM   #7  
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Yeah that's not right at all. I agree with everyone else. Honestly, I would look for another job. They sound like the type that if they aren't going to talk about your weight (if you go to HR) they will find something else to pick apart and make your work-life ****. Good luck!
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Old 04-25-2017, 10:52 AM   #8  
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That's horrible! I'm sure you look wonderful, 37 pounds is significant! My second goal is to lose 32 and it's hard! them discussing your weight is completely unacceptable, definitely worth a conversation with HR.
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Old 04-25-2017, 04:27 PM   #9  
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Thanks everyone.

My job is still ok except for those comments. The hours are good, and the pay is good, and the work is good, so I don't want to find another job right now.

I'm just really motivated to lose the last 30 pounds I want to lose. I don't know if this is bad, but their comments motivate me instead of discouraging me. The comments make me feel bad, so I'm doing something about it by working even harder to lose weight.

I don't think HR would help. The HR guy is kind of weird.

I have been ignoring them. I've just been trying to look really involved in what I was doing.

Last edited by Harrypotterrocks; 04-25-2017 at 04:34 PM.
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Old 04-25-2017, 05:54 PM   #10  
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Wow, they are way over the line into unprofessional, for sure, and your boss calling you "chub" would be write-up warning material in a company I managed. It's unfortunate your HR representative seems unhelpful because this is crying out to be reported.

But if you gain strength from their rudeness, please consider calling out your boss for her stepping over the line. Management sets the tone for a workplace and she is setting up a miserable one.

Best wishes in showing them up! Don't let them get you down, but don't take their crap either!
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Old 04-26-2017, 01:55 PM   #11  
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Wouldn't hurt to say something. Maybe a snarky, "My 'chub' doesn't affect my hearing, folks." Most people aren't intentionally unkind. Maybe you'll shame them into better behavior?
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Old 04-26-2017, 07:22 PM   #12  
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I'm just worried about starting things/getting on people's bad side. My boss said when she was interviewing me, that she won't take people being petty and starting things. I don't want to work in a toxic workplace. I'm also kind of bad at sticking up for myself. Even when things like this happen.

Last edited by Harrypotterrocks; 04-26-2017 at 07:23 PM.
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Old 04-26-2017, 07:28 PM   #13  
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Good god how insensitive, just ignore them and their comments. Sounds like a lack of maturity and extremely judgmental.

When I am on a diet I never tell my co-workers, they usually offer me food, or give me stupid suggestions, like fasting or that hot sauce, lemon, crap drink.
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Old 04-27-2017, 06:40 AM   #14  
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Originally Posted by msgooch View Post
Near strangers and neighbors have noticed my weight loss, my closest friends have not.
You've lost 42 lbs. and your friends haven't noticed?!?

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Old 04-27-2017, 06:41 AM   #15  
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That is bullying and illegal. Go to HR!

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