[Aretaken9]

Hi I'm Bre, and I am new here. I am a 26 yo 322lbs woman and have been struggling with my weight all my life. I had a failed sleeve surgery ( defective didn't find out until later) and am in the process of working with a new doctor to get the RNy bypass.

I have been working out but my thoughts also gravitate back to food. I plan out healthy options and find ways to talk myself into cheating. Saying I worked out so hard I deserved it. I want to get this right and lose the weight but I am not sure how to grapple with my thoughts. I really think I have a food addiction and am sabotaging myself. Does anyone have any tips that made the healthy eating easier? I can't seem to stick with it for more than a week or so. I don't want to get the surgery only to gain it all back. I need to change my mentality and I am not sure where to start.

[Keika]

Hi Bre! Nice to meet you!

When I first started, I had food cravings like crazy. I took the "starve it out" approach, and was very careful not to indulge them. It was tough, and my wanting to eat the unhealthy stuff actually made the healthy stuff I was eating taste worse. Over time, though, I noticed changes. My constant desire to "eat the world" turned into "just give me some fry sauce, please?" Eventually even my craving for fry sauce died away, and today, nearly two months later, I only experience occasional, wistful cravings that only last for a couple minutes, and are only triggered by actually seeing or smelling the food. (Smells are the WORST! ;P)

What I'm saying is, food cravings are normal. It doesn't sound like you've been on the journey very long. Food cravings are absolutely, totally normal, especially when you're so early into your lifestyle change. Just remember that the less you eat of those foods you're trying to avoid, the less you'll want them. Slowly.

Also, this is just as much psychological as it is physical. The number one rule of making a lifestyle change is to love yourself, forgive yourself, and not beat yourself up over any slip-ups you make. Telling yourself that you have to be perfect and never make a mistake would be like telling an 8-year old who's struggling in math that he has to be perfect and understand everything RIGHT NOW. What's that kid going to do? He's going to make a mistake--of course he will, he's only just learned how to do multiplication!--and when he does, he's going to remember that he "has to be perfect." Not being perfect is going to sap his motivation right away and he's just going to give up, convince himself he's bad at math and never will be good at it, and never try it again. A person who is overweight who tells themselves they "have to be perfect" is going to make a mistake, which will sap their motivation and cause them to give up, convince themselves that they're fat and always will be fat, and never try losing weight again. My point is, be kind to yourself. That's the most important advice I can give you. People don't lose large amounts of weight by being perfect; they lose the weight because they stick with it and don't give up, even when they fall off the wagon.

Other tips I can give you? Remove temptation from your house. Get rid of anything you're trying to work out of your diet, and don't buy those things again. Replace them with healthy snack foods you can go to when your cravings are at their worst. Some people find that snacking on small amounts of healthy foods throughout the day help them lose weight because they're less hungry at mealtimes. I personally find that apples help satisfy my craving for sugar, because they just taste sugary. Bananas are full of fiber that will help you feel full longer. Nuts (try to go for unsalted) are great for protein. I've heard, too, that dark chocolate is good for satisfying cravings, while still having proven health benefits, provided it's eaten in very small amounts.

Distraction also helps me out. If I'm sitting on the couch and doing something inactive, like watching Netflix for instance, my thoughts stray towards food a lot faster than they do when I'm, say, reading or playing a video game, which requires a lot more active thought. If your temptations are outside the house, you might also try putting your wallet or house keys or something in a place that takes a little more effort to reach, instead of easy to grab and go, like say, on the top shelf or something. Make it less convenient. The extra couple of seconds or milligrams of effort it takes to get to it might be just enough time to remind yourself that you don't actually want what you're craving.

So, yeah. Sorry, I'm super wordy. :/ I hope there was something in that wall of text that's useful for you! Welcome to 3FC!!

[Thousandsunny]

I wanted to chime in and agree with @Keika on the removing temptation. I struggle with much of the same things you do and I finally realised I just can't have anything in the house. That includes the "good treats" as evidenced by the fact I ate a whole point of Halo Top last night (and saw 2 pounds of water weight today.) When I get home, all my "this isn't so bad" candy and cookies are going to the disposal. You can't give in if there's nothing to give in to. I know moderation is key and all but I just don't have the ability to moderate when I want something like that.

As for sticking with a plan, I try to treat it like a lifestyle change. I changed how I cooked and what I ate out, I tried to change what I considered rewards, (like a nice steak is a reward now, not cake). But I still slip up, everyone does now and then! The important part is just getting right back the next day.

[msgooch]

It depends on if you're a gradual elimination type or a cold turkey type. I did cold turkey and did the south beach diet. I was miserable at first, I cried about it and really felt sorry for myself. While I ate breakfast I was thinking about lunch and dinner and snack, etc.

Have you ever considered going to an overeaters anonymous group? I need a lot of support. I come here, I have my husband, I have 2 sisters. I just google health things, calorie burn, etc. In my opinion it takes just about my full attention. One thing that helps me is the planning of every meal and snack. Make the plan - in writing what you'll be having to eat the next few days. Go to the grocery store and only buy the ingredients you need. Have things you can have on hand that aren't a big deal, I think everyone has their own things. My husband relies on the sugar free jello, I eat a cheese stick in an emergency. I like hot tea, if I think I'm hungry I drink tea first. It is an ongoing issue for me, but the cravings are way less. I certainly have my moments and I don't expect to be perfect every second. If I slip, I start right back the next snack, the next meal - I don't just throw the towel in for the day.

[thinhappy40]

Hi Bre

Cravings are also my downfall, especially late night cravings when watching tv. I researched a few ways that help me. Viewing a 3d image or playing a 3d game like tetris uses the same area of the brain that causes cravings. this usually disrupts the craving and helps you resist it. this is a quick fix, for long term success you need to actually figure out what the cues are that trigger the cravings. the cues happen way before the craving and are much easier to stop. they can be anything from an advert to stress or even smells. if you can avoid the cues you wont need to deal with the cravings. hope that helps.

[Palestrina]

Cravings have roots in psychology and physiology. The physiological part is that certain foods (processed food, fried food, and sugar) do not meet your body's needs, thus making you crave more and more. They make your body dysfunctional basically, slowing down your digestion, spiking your blood sugar, and causing malnutrition. Are these foods bad? No, absolutely not. But the truth is your body has a love/hate relationship with them, it may enjoy them in the moment but processing them is too difficult and no nourishing in the long run. Your body does not like these foods when it gets too much of them.

You may want to look into hormonal imbalances in women. I believe that anyone who is very overweight (like myself) might be suffering from hormonal imbalances. I know I am, and finding this out has made certain changes not only bearable but welcome.

The other and equally-important aspect of "cravings" and "food thoughts" is the psychological aspect. There are 2 books that have helped me tremendously on this. Brain Over Binge and The Little Book of Big Changes. The first one made me understand the difference between the lower brain and the higher brain, the second helped me put it into practice. The premise of these books is that we can change our habits if we change our mind. Cravings come from the lower brain, and action comes from the higher brain. By learning how to ignore the lower brain, I have created new neural pathways in my brain giving me more and more power every day to battle cravings and food distractions.

Beyond all of this the most important lessons I have learned about food have come from Intuitive Eating practices. I'm not going to lie to you, overcoming an eating disorder can take years and years, I've heard that it takes an average of 14 years. Intuitive eating was the first step, and it will be the last step moving forward. Making peace with food, learning how to be mindful, learning how to love my body and treat it with kindness, these are the most important steps one has to take to achieve good health. So yes I employ tactics (such as staying away from sugar) to help balance my hormones. But my experience with inuitive eating has taught me that I'm not going to starve myself in order to fit into a pair of pants. You must must must eliminate the following:

- guilt
- shame
- restriction
- dieting

And whatever you do, don't allow yourself to go hungry. Feel your hunger and then feed it. Going hungry and restricting sends your brain into primitive mode, resulting in catastrophic binges that in the long run destroy your metabolism and drive up your set weight point.

[Pang]

This isn't a solution .but support and guess. But it may apply to getting on a 5 year habit.
Try to eat all calories in an 8 window. This won't solve anything , but may help with a eating routine.

8 hours is frivolous. So if your schedule is ten hours between breakfast and lunch. The 10hrs is what you may stick to better.

So 16 non eating hours. And 8 hour eating window.

Start only eating meals. No snacks at all.
3 meals that fit your bmr.

Once you can stick to three meals it may become less complicated to try specific plans.

In this way habits and emotional eating are attempted to be controlled. And that sometimes take practicing.
Becoming accustomed to eating only the full meals.

So no matter what happens you'll have confidence that you eat well enough to get to the next meal. And the snacks aren't necessary.
......
I do snack. I don't want to. But I do. I try not to but I do.
What works for me.
I no longer buy the snacks and keep where I can get to them.
If I want a junk snack I at least go walk to store to buy it as single.

I keep dried fruits in the house as a snack.
I get it from trader Joe's , it doesn't have sulfur or sugar added.
I got tired of eating it. But that's OK not to crave the snack I'm allowed to have.

I picked the mixed bag of dried blueberries,cherries,and strawberries. I eat a about 7 walnut halves.
It is a bad idea to binge on dried fruit. So I measure it out into 300 calorie snack bags. But it's also important to floss teeth afterwards as they're sticky and we don't want that on the teeth.

I dunno if this helps , just keep on trying.
Keep trying to implement nutrition dense foods. Like broccoli and blueberries, those in particular help with nutrients uptake. Broccoli helps get more nutritional uptake from meat. And blueberries especially help with uptake from plant based foods.

In that way you'll be less inclined to believe your craving nutrients, but more having cravings on an emotional front. So you choose your battles in steps.
Best wishes Bre

Are you able to walk? Walking for an hour after that last meal will help become more accustomed to using fat as fuel.
If you can start walking within two hours before or after your last meal. The heat your body will make thermic metabolism.
The help with digestion. With also help with nutrients uptake. So am I saying walk everyday for an hour after the meal ? Yes , try and see if it's doable. I take my daughter and her friends to places they've never been and we walk around .