What is wrong with me?
 

I cant seem to figure out what it wrong. March i signed up for WW and dropped 46lbs started falling off around June then got really bad and now were in mid November and im back up 20lbs... The worst part ive tried to "start again" god knows how many times but i just cant control eating crap! its like it haunts me "those chips will be really good" "just eat the nutter butters who cares" and once i have 1 snack ill just spiral out of control for the rest of the day and eat like 5 snacks then overeat dinner and eat more snacks after dinner. I just literally dont get it. Today is the first day i havent cheated (its not bed time yet either) in months, im hoping itll stick but who knows. I went to my first WW meeting in months on Saturday and havent ate good any day since then before today. It just never ends im at my witts end and about to just fully give up

Do not give up. You have worked so hard! Yes, you gained some back, but it's ok. This is a learning process. You know how you lost the weight, and you can do it again. Even if it's slow, even if you mess up. As long as you don't give up completely, you haven't lost.

You can do this. I believe in you!

Thanks Les. Its just frustrating and then realizing I will always have to watch what I eat its just all too depressing sometimes. I just want to be able to eat like a normal person but I cant even do that because I cant control myself

I have realized that I will have to track my food forever, even in maintenance. I have come to terms with it and feel ok about it. I mean, there is a reason I was always overweight, and that's because I was eating too much food and drinking too much coke. I imagine it would be pretty easy to go back to that lifestyle (although I'm done with soda forever, it's poison).

I know it can be tough and depressing, but for me there are just as many days that I feel awesome. I hope you can get back to that place soon.

Do you try planning the meals ahead of time. Make sure that even though its slightly restrictive, there is something in there that you really enjoy. That way you have at least one thing to really look forward to. When I first started this journey, I had a cheat day. It is very controversial among members on this site, but in the beginning whether is a true start or starting over, the cravings are so hard to get over. Food is chemicals and chemicals are drugs, which trigger certain parts of our brains. I knew that if I could stick to the plan for the whole week then on my cheat day I could throw caution to the wind and not feel bad about it and the funny thing is, is that bc I had been so good all week, my cheat days were pretty pathetic bc I would think, "I worked so hard al week and I don't want to totally ruin it," which of course 1 day is not going to ruin a whole week working hard, but it helped me. My cheat day was on Sunday so if I had a craving for french fries on a wednesday, I would say, "Im so gonna eat these french fries on Sunday." It helped me get passed the food craving and then when Sunday came, I might not even think about french fries, but if I did and I ate them, I wouldn't let myself feel bad about it. If I indulged a bit on Sunday it helped me recharge a lot for the coming week. I no longer do that but I've been having some other weird issues Im dealing with, but it really helped me in the beginning bc the cravings are so strong. I will say this though, if sugar is your craving, try not to go overboard. Sugar is really the root of all evil in nutrition. Its what makes the cravings horrible and the cycle continue. Try to replace crappy sugar to better sugar like instead of a cookie do a clementine if you must. Luckily I don't have a huge sweet tooth. I just love the GFD (golden fried and delicious) things or not so sweet carbs like mashed potatoes or crusty baguette with butter. What Im saying is the more sugar the worse for the cravings. If you can detox from the sweets I think it'll help. maybe try the cheat day plan for a couple of weeks. Its all a learning curve. THings work better for different people. Im just know that helped me a ton in the first few weeks along with pre-planning for my day (which I kind of have to bc I work a 10 hour day without a real dedicated lunch time and activities after work).

Amberkkski - you don't want to eat like normal people eat, you want to eat like YOU normally eat - but not gain weight. Never gonna happen! There is no one born alive that can eat over their maintenance calories and not gain weight. You need to find lower calorie replacements for those binge foods. I just tried those Beanitos I have seen people talking about. They are a great replacement for chips! Just don't eat the whole bag. Eat them with some hummus and a large glass of water. Take veggies and dip them in light or low cal dressing, or spread natural peanut butter on a celery rib, have a few nuts with some low fat cheese. There are lots of ways to snack and keep the calorie count down.

Well, at least in the US, the average person is overweight. So if you want like a "normal" person then that probably means overeating.

But, maybe you mean want to eat like a "normal" not-overweight person. The reality is that most normal weight people watch what they eat. My husband has been at normal weight (he did WW) for over a year and a half now. He still watches what he eats. He can't just eat anything.

I got back to within my goal range (I was a regained lifetime member of WW) about 5 months ago. I've maintained within that range during that period of time. To the outside eye, I am a normal weight person. If you saw me in a restaurant you might not realize that I watch what I eat all the time. I also watch my activity really closely.

About 5 years ago I went back to WW and I lost about 45 pounds. It was great. Then, I regained 35 pounds. I felt terrible about it.

I flailed around for a year and a half not making any progress. There were a couple of things I realized from it:

1. During a large part of it, weight loss really wasn't my priority. I kept saying that I wanted to lose weight, but it really wasn't the priority at that time (we had moved and I had a lot of other things on my mind). Truthfully, I think I would have been better off just admitting I wasn't in a weight loss frame of mind when I had gained about 10 pounds and simply worked harder to maintain where I was then. I think that would have worked better for me.

2. One I was more in a weight loss frame of mind, I found that I did much better when I didn't put myself in the path of temptation. So, I didn't bring cookies or chips into the house (I occasionally ate them away from home). I didn't go to restaurants where I found it hard to eat in accordance with what I had planned.

Maybe it would be best to work out what you think is "normal." Everyone's normal is different. What works for me won't work for the majority - what's normal for me is definitely abnormal for others. :D That's okay though. My normal is perfect for me!

It's an addiction and to get control of it you need to get to the root of the issue first. If not confronted, the yo-yo effect will keep haunting you. Counseling has helped me so much. The counselor I was seeing before I moved fully believes in journaling. You can see what triggers the overeating, emotions, etc. Regular journaling and food journaling keeps you accountable. There is no quick "fix". With the support of everyone here you can do it!!!

Amberkkski you can do it! I know what you mean. I used to go into this mode where it was like I had blinders on when I went for the bad food...half my brain was yelling stop! but the other half was just going for it. I have to take a timeout before grabbing something sometimes. If I really want something bad I will go get a bubbly water or some tea, have that, and then if I am still hungry and wanting something, the intense craving moment has gone and I can make a more controlled decision. Good luck I know you can do it, you got those 45 pounds off with WW, that is not an easy feat!

Hi Amber,
I've been like you, spending/wasting most of my life feeling guilty, desperate, craving, overeating.

Eventually, I got to the point that I wanted physical and emotional health MORE than I wanted to overeat. That's when the change happened in my head.
Since then, it's been all about execution and no longer about decision making. Yes, I'll have to do this for the rest of my life, but hey, some people end up in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives.

This exactly. I have a freezer full of individual meals that I've cooked, portioned and frozen. I also make things that fit into my calorie count depending on the flavor profile I'd like to eat - examples below.

Craving pizza:
Low calorie pita or flatout, my homemade sauce, part skim mozz, and toppings to my heart's content (even turkey pepperoni)

Chicken wings:
Smoke chicken, mix with marie's light blue cheese, hot sauce and bbq sauce - saucy, but not fried

Buffalo chicken:
Buffalo chicken pizza (made like above), buffalo chicken meatballs, buffalo chicken soup, buffalo cauliflower

Pasta:
Sauteed vegetables mixed with pasta, or vegetable noodles topped with sauce (even melted laughing cow or neufchatel to make it "alfredo")

Chinese food:
Diet menu (I like the steamed chicken and broccoli) - mix with store bought stir fry sauce and even peanut flour for a peanut sauce. Bake wontons and egg rolls (I even make them buffalo, bbq chicken, Thai, etc).

Tacos or burritos:
Lean meat, homemade seasoning, lots of vegetables, reduced fat cheese, and a corn tortilla OR a high fiber/low carb wrap (Ole Wellness).

Maybe you're bored with the meals you're making, or are you maybe needing more volume?

Omg everyone thank you for all the support i just logged in from yesterday.

kiwi i meal plan everything actually but when i have so many snacks ready at my finger tips thats when i just grab something thats off plan. i really need to work on my mental will power thats the thing that gets me the worst

katiam you def hit a weirdly nerve on that one i guess i never realized that people probably dont eat like i do normally. Strangely i never wrapped that around my brain some how. i just hope to one day be able to be able to have 1 snack thought without making myself binge crazily because of it.

koshka i completely agree me and my boyfriend actually just moved and are finally settled in now (2 weeks later) but i still am having a hard time getting to that weight loss state of mind

kiti what kind of counselor did you go to for it? my family are all overweight and i have been most of my life so there probably is an underlying issue

havedog thank you!

watercolor im trying to get that good brain back lol

munchy its weird all my meals ill be full for maybe an hour and then i feel like im hungry again. well i cant say that i dont feel like im satisfied anymore. even when i lost the 45lbs i was eating less per portion and feeling satisfied but then i would be in that weird not satisfied state pretty soon and want to eat something again. its almost as i dont know how to not be hungry, if that makes any sense.

Have you tried looking into volumetric eating? I eat really low calorie meals, but they're huge! You can easily still track WW while doing it.

Volumetric Followers

Hi Amberkkski!

You'll get lots of advice, but for me, I found it was a very personal journey and mine differed from others. Just like no "weight loss plan" works for everyone because we are chemically, biologically, genetically different - I don't think any "healthy mind-set" works for everyone, either.

I found, for me, the things that made it "stick" were to constantly reevaluate what I was doing, to continue reading and learning more and to be very flexible and VERY patient. Over the years, starting in my late 20's (I'm 44 now) I've lost and gained and lost and gained many times. This time (starting in late 2010) was different and I lost and didn't regain - this time I really started listening to my body - I eat when I am hungry, I stop when I am satisfied and I do not starve myself. I exercise because it makes me feel good and gives me a natural boost (I've suffered from serious depression since I was a teenager) and I never-ever-ever beat myself up because I "make a mistake" (I am a chronic binge eater). I learn what I can from my binges (yes, I still binge sometimes) and I forgive and forget.

I believe (again, for me) that binge eating is a bad habit - one that my brain is desperately trying to maintain (that part of your brain doesn't understand the difference b/w a good habit or a bad one, it just tries to maintain habits - that is it's job) - so I have to work to break it. The more I am able to not engage that habit, the easier it becomes and the more I am able to make new (healthy) habits, the easier they become. It just takes time.

If you go to counseling, I would recommend finding a good cognitive therapist. It is "talk" therapy - but also working on looking at your cognitive distortions and giving you the tools to recognize that your thoughts cause your feelings, and many of our thoughts are not rational.

Good luck! :D

You have so much good advice here. I agree that sugar and soda are bad, bad , bad and keeping them down to once in a while treats is your ultimate goal. (Personally, I'm off soda for life, but if you can't imagine yourself being there, don't). The other thing I'd say is to figure out what supplements your body might need. I was amazed at how much my hunger and food cravings were tied to nutritional deficiencies. I was deficient in magnesium most of all, but also vitamin mk4 and vitamin d3. I take daily supplements of them in addition to my daily multivitamin.

Amber one step at a time and use My Fitness Pal app it really helps.Dont ever give up,you have one life to live make each day count.God Bless

With diets you do eventually plateau. At that point (after a month) it's OK to shake it up and try something new. Like, calorie counting at first, then low carb, then when you level out raw vegan, etc. Eventually you will want to be utterly happy with how and what you're eating. I know you are in a relationship, but can you keep snacks out of the house?

Also, you can rate food. Veggies are 5, fruit 4, meat 3, dairy 2 and pasta 1. (Sugar 0 of course!) Pick the three best options in the room when out!

Plan a couple recipes. Then live on the leftovers and leftover ingredients.

Or plan your meals, like: fruit for breakky, veggies for lunch, meat and veggies for dinner. Bread, grains and pasta if there's no other options!

Or food combining: Fruit stands alone. Pasta and veggies OR meat and veggies.

Lanula's advice is really good. I like to think of my overeating/binging as more of a bad habit than anything. I know that's not not true for all, however. I find weight loss happens best when it's easy. I've done the weight watchers thing (several times), cal counting, no s diet..I could go on but you get the idea.

What I find is this. Anytime I had to exert major effort or inconvenience I couldn't stick to it. Eventually I get bored and annoyed and finally throw my hands in the air and quit and regain. Those plans aren't natural, they feel like a chore, with an end in sight, but it's torture getting there! I hand to start thinking in terms of, what can I do forever? What am I willing to do forever? For me, it's pretty simple. I don't eat sweets because they make me want to snack on everything and anything. I went from eating so many sweets to eating none, only change, and lost 17 lbs one month. No counting. And once I am off them for a few days, I don't crave them either, which is shocking. No more binging, and my appetite has self regulated.

I don't know if any of this helpful. But I do truly the process of weight loss shouldn't feel like misery. It doesn't even have to feel like work. Because it's a process you must continue for life in order to keep from regaining, it helps to find something that feels natural and easy. :) good luck!

Amberkkski-I'm new to the 3fatchicks family and I just read your post from November. I sure hope you are in a better place now. (I hate that phrase 'better place' but it seems appropriate here.). I had lost 45lbs and gained back 15+ in three months. I hate how hard I worked to get those lbs.off and let a third of it come back! I'm not going to beat myself up about it but instead I hope I can get that motivation back and get on the downward slide again. Hop on with me😀

You need to take a breath, and redefine, "NORMAL"!

I used to think this way. I just want to be normal.

Until one day at the grocery store, I saw, people on the scooters, with hoo hoo's, and frozen pizza, and supportive stockings, and oxygen and cake and so on and so forth!

And this was a day, when I JUST WANTED TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

It really made me re think, my thoughts. I know, now, I deserve better, than the hoo hoo, cake, frozen pizza, scooter lifestyle. :carrot:

I decided, normal, not for me, I want better!:D:carrot:

Here, here! Let's give it up to those that fight against the "norm" and go for the gold! Love this quote above.