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Old 10-06-2003, 05:59 PM   #106  
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Default End of my rope

I think I've truly reached it. I'm not happy in my job, not at all. I believe I really am in the wrong place and will have to make a change. And the thing is, it's not really the kids I can't deal with, it's the adults. I'm too depressed to elaborate. Too discouraged to know what is the right thing to do. Only one thing I'm sure of right now---I will not turn to food to cope with this. I won't compound one set of problems with another.

Hoping you all had a better Monday than me
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Old 10-06-2003, 07:20 PM   #107  
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Story - Hang in there - Have had days like this - maybe you just need a building change first...before you give up...just a thought ... spent the day with the movers ...so tired today - thinking of you story and hoping it gets better.... Fondly. KIM
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Old 10-06-2003, 07:55 PM   #108  
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Story, listen to your gut. It always tells the truth. About 3 years ago, I was still an assistant manager of a group home. I worked mostly nights while my DD slept so that she only needed day care 2 days a week. I hadn't planned on going into teaching until she was in first grade. Well, my manager was so lazy. She called out a lot. And when she was in, she never did her job. (She used to be a wonderful manager, but personal problems affected her job performance.) Anyway, at first I tried to be supportive and picked up the slack. But before I knew it, I was doing the work of 2 people. I became very bitter and unhappy. It affected my home life. I ended up applying for a teaching position 3 years sooner than I had originally planned. It was really tough on me financially. I took a $3000 a year pay cut becoming a teacher. And, I went from paying for part time daycare to full time daycare...$8000 a year! It was also a difficult adjustment for my DD to not have me around as much.

But, as hard as that first year was, leaving a job that made me miserable was so worth it. I now am making the same pay as I did at the group home. And since my DD is in kindergarten now, I only have to pay $3200 a year for before & after school care. I really love my job. I found my niche in pre-k. No it isn't perfect. No job is. But I think that this is as close as I'm gonna get.

I pray that whatever decision you make, you listen to what your heart/gut is telling you. Think it through, and do what is best for your emotional health.

3Mom, good luck with your move. I hope you are feeling at home in your new home soon!

Hi Robyn!

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Old 10-07-2003, 06:27 PM   #109  
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Story - how are you today? Feeling any better? Ready to talk about it? i had my meeting with my student teacher's supersvisor today - I finally got to let him know a few truths about her - I felt I was very fair but let it be known that she thinks she is perfect already and does NOT need to improve anything. I am kind of leery about how she will react when he discusses the results. I did give her a written form of what we discussed - I would of loved to discuss it with her but she is not a willing listener I have realized. She is the one who the first week she was with me - wrote in her journal how boring and lazy I was and she could teach better than me without even trying and then was dumb enough to leave it out where I would see it. Really, I just want her to go so I can get on with teaching - she was not willing to learn anything so I feel it was a waste to have it in my classroom. Anyways, Robin you are so right about being happy where you are - I was a vice principal for a year but I was so unhappy with complaining parents and not being in the classroom I decided to go back to teaching after only one year. Well, enough babbling for now take care Fondly, Kim
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Old 10-07-2003, 07:10 PM   #110  
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Hi teachers. I guess I feel some better today, not alot. This week has been filled with frustration. I keep coming upon situations where there is such blatant unfairness going on--severely punishing one student for something and letting another go scott free. Overhearing conversations between other teachers about how our kids are like animals and belong in a cage, making jokes at some students' expense and even, so sad to say, racial comments. And to hear some kids say they hate so and so's class because he/she's so mean. My own kids have said the same about some of these teachers many times so it's not the first time I've heard this about some teachers. I have to wonder why did they become teachers if they hate children? Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, I don't have an endless supply of patience. But I try not to take my frustrations out on the kids, or let them see it come out in me. I didn't realize until recently how blessed my 2 kids have been to have the teachers they have had. With very few exceptions I can see that they were truly gifted, caring teachers.

I did get past the gloom that settled over me without over eating, a MAJOR victory. We have a long weekend coming up, can't wait! I need to take DS back to the dr, he just isn't getting any better. Thanks for the words of encouragement and support. I'm doing some serious soul searching, trying to see what's the best thing for me and my family. The one person on campus who I talked to about it said not to 'abandon' the kids there who need me. Most days I don't even feel like they know I'm there, much less know that I care. Anyway. I need to put this aside for awhile. I get to feeling like a gerbil on a wheel after a while.
Happy Tuesday all, and thanks again.
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Old 10-07-2003, 07:40 PM   #111  
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Story - I feel for you and know how you feel and I have wondered the same thing myself somedays - but I tend to agree with your friend you spoke with - also the best we can hope for is the old saying "what goes around comes around" I had an awful experience with my son's teacher last year and it became really difficult because I work at the same school. I finally put it into perspective and said to myself it will be a life experience for him and hopefully it will teach him how NOT to be and to learn how to deal with difficutl people. Well, enjoy your long weekend and I hope your son starts to feel better! Fondly, KIM
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Old 10-07-2003, 10:44 PM   #112  
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WELL....guess it is a *GREAT* week all over! Sure hope that you guys keep your "chin up" and that things are looking sunnier tomorrow!

I'm so exasperated I can't see straight.....
*****Today I got my 26th first grader. The size of my class is insane! Especially after the last 3 years of having classes around 20. AND after listening to some who work in my city who "can't go over 19 kiddos".....AND after listening to our superintendent who is "dedicated to small class size" (for everyone but MEEE?)
*****Making a very long story short. In the city where I work, elementary school teachers get their planning time in a big chunk on Wednesdays. Each Wednesday, the students go home at 1:10 and the rest of the day is planning time. (No time to explain further.........except to say...that the other 4 days were lengthened to "make up" the instructional minutes of this!) WELLLLLLLL our superintendent has announced that in order to "pay" for the hurricane days.....we will need to make up the 8 days...OKKKK..... We will NOW have children on the days that were "work days" and "staff development". OK....AND the elementary schedule will be changed to have students for full days for the last 7 "early release Wednesdays".....THAT means that Elementary TEachers will NOT have ANY planning time for the last 40 consecutive days of school. Report cards, Records, etc....will be on "our" time. The High Schools and Middle Schools will NOT have to make up any thing other than the 3 "work / staff devel days".

I'm so angry I can't see straight.

(We have also been reminded that we will have to "make up" the staff development days and work days...as we're being paid for those days AND since they've done away with them...we owe the system.)


PLEAAAASSSSEEEE don't tell me what is "good for the children". For the last 17 years, I've done what is "good for the children" without any regard to what is good for me! AND WOW! Look what it has gotten me!?!?! I understand and KNOW what is "good for the children" AND I can GUARANTEE that this plan is NOT in the best interest of the children. 17 years I've given this same system.....and what have they done for me???? ALLOWED me to get the short end of the stick OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER....When the high school and middle school teachers complain, they have "rights".....When Elementary Teachers complain we are uncaring unloving and NOT doing what is "good for the children". WHAT about what is good for MEEEEE or my own personal children?????? Why do we come last? I'm ready to
fightttttt! This is SOOOOOO wrong!

GREAT news....I'm OP in spite of it all! sooooo.... :P
Thanks for listening to me rant..........
I KNOW that I sound crazy tonight....and trust me ...I AMMMM!
40 days with NO planning time?????? How much am I supposed to "give" out of the GOODNESS of my heart????
oh...wait....I WAS done with my rant!

Ya'll take care.....
btw, where do you all live?
Say something that will CALMMMM me down!
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Old 10-08-2003, 07:04 PM   #113  
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Robyn, I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. Yes the system seems wired to screw the teachers. If it's any consolation in my district the elementary and secondary teachers seem to get equally screwed, they don't play favorites. I so sympathize with you and the size of your class. My gosh, 26 first graders is insane. How can anyone believe a class that size does any one any good? Least of all the children. I can't imagine how you do it. My district recently started an early release program at a few of our schools on Fridays. They talked about taking it district wide, the success of those afternoons for planning must be successful because they pushed it for awhile but the elementaries are so large and many of them "rural" and so many families with both parents working, the logistics of care for all those kids turned into a nightmare. As it is there are many in the secondary schools who have no after school care, some as young as 10 who have no supervision after school until someone gets home and there have been a few unpleasant incidents because of it. All I can offer is to hang in there and do the best you can. We're here for you to rant to, rant on as much as you need.

As for myself, I spent the last couple of days keeping to myself as much as possible. I stopped going to the lounge and stay away from groups of people talking in the halls. Not that I have time to stop and chat, I don't but I figure if I take another route and try to avoid the talkers I won't over hear something that might depress me. I've made it a point to seek out some of 'my kids' at school, spend some time with them. I can't afford to let other people's negativity bring me down.

Took DS back to the dr today and it's not good. He has some viral something and his fever won't go down. Up to 102 this afternoon. If he's not better by Friday he has to go back for more tests. I ache for him. He's nearly 13 and tries hard to be strong and tough, but he feel so rotten all he can do is cry. He's sleeping for now, I hope when he wakes his fever is down.

Thanks Kim and Summer for the words of encouragement. I hope everyone has a nice weekend, long one or not.
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Old 10-09-2003, 07:54 AM   #114  
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Angry SUCCESS!!!

Good morning, teachers!! I got up this morning and felt heavy, thought ok what's up with this so I got on the scale only to find I am down 3 lbs!!!

I am so shocked, delighted, amazed, and best of all relieved!! This puts me at 150 lbs, (down to the lowest point range--yikes!) and hopefully 10 more lbs to where I want to be. I'm pretty sure that my clothes that I'm so desperate to get back into will fit me at 140, that's where I felt really good and comfortable. I maintained that for along time with not too much effort and worry. Lower than that, I may have some problems. I'm so psyched!!

DS is home today. I went ahead and called in a sub yesterday after we got done at the dr. Thank goodness I got someone good. I hate to be out and have some 'unknown' sub come in, it just seems to make things that much harder. I heard on the news this morning that the flu is really bad already this year. DD said she heard from a friend that alot of kids were sent home yesterday with fever and vomiting. I may keep her home, too. They are out for 4 days after today so he can get well and maybe, hopefully, she can avoid getting it.

I'll check back in later, since I'm home today being mommy. Take care all, and Robyn I hope you are feeling better. Remember we're on your side.
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Old 10-09-2003, 08:54 PM   #115  
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Story, sorry about your DS not getting better. It is so much easier when you can give an antibiotic. Viruses are a drag. Congratulations on the weight loss!!! Outstanding!!!

Robyn, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Talk about feeling totally screwed. Your school system sounds just like mine. Their priorities are so messed up. It is very political. It is about power plays...and the people in power are a_ _ holes. It doesn't matter how loyal you are, they will treat you like crap if it serves their needs. I am so sorry for you being in this situat
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Old 10-09-2003, 08:56 PM   #116  
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Okay, something happened to my reply. Maybe I will have to start a new thread...Teachers struggling to lose weight 2

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