I have three little kids (7, 4, 2). I firmly believe in the practice of eating together as a family, and eating the same meal. I also believe that kids should be eating a variety of foods that include carbs, protein, and fats.

I, however, have to be very careful about what I eat if I want to lose weight. I have to limit carbs/sugars (especially in the evening), limit calories, and sometimes (depending on the dish) limit fats.

I do not want my kids eating "diet" foods, nor do I want them to know that I am dieting. So it takes some creativity to eat family dinners together while still sticking to my diet.

One thing I typically do is make a meat, veg, and starch (e.g. fish, broccoli, and rice). I eat the fish and broccoli. The kids eat it all with extra fat/calories added (e.g. topped with cheese or butter).

This works great but not on nights when I need or want to do a one pot or crockpot meal. I do want the kids to enjoy their favorites at times, so it can get tricky for me if they want, for example, spaghetti for dinner.

Anyone dealing with this? Any advice?

I made separate meals for me.

I really like your suggestion however of set meals that you can customize for yourself, like the fish and broccoli thing. I would focus on doing those all the time.

Or do a combo. When the kids have their favorites, make something different for you. And when not, customize what everyone else is having to match your diet.

But don't let the family become an excuse to overlook your diet.

My kids are in their 20s now, but my husband is a big eater (without any weight gain) and I like my flavorful dinners. (we buy our beef and pork in bulk and I grow a huge garden and can/freeze). What works for me is I have a high protein breakfast and lunch (each 300 calories) on the days I know I'm going to have a "big" dinner. Even on healthy dinner nights, I always have a 300 calorie breakfast on weekdays. I rarely snack and when I do it's Skinny Popcorn (hubs likes it too) but drink lots of seltzer water. Good luck!

I'm grain free, so a lot of my meals are modified compared to the family's.

Most of our one-pot meals are without a grain component and we would add it in (except for spaghetti where I swap noodled vegetables for myself). I usually eat things like stir fry, stew, chili, soup, whatever and I add the starchy side for them.

I also have frozen portioned containers of mashed cauliflower and cauliflower rice to easily add to my plate if I feel like I need it.

Sounds like you are only struggling on the nights where you want to do a one pot meal or make the kids' favorites that don't fit within your plan? Find a few things that you could eat on your own, make a big batch, and freeze. That way you can simply heat up a serving of your meal and then make spaghetti/one pot meal/etc. for the kids. If they ask questions, be honest. Mommy has different dietary needs than growing children!

Munchy has recommended quite an array of freezable meals that fit almost anyone's diet, by the way. Peruse her posts in the Volumetrics thread and you're bound to find something easy, tasty, and healthy if you're stuck for ideas. Especially soup!

Good for you! Studies show that kids that grow up with a parent that diets are very likely to become dieters themselves and form a bad relationship with food. Also body image and lack of body appreciation trickle down into our kids as well and we have to be extra careful about how we express our body confidence or lack thereof in front of our kids.

Half the reason I do intuitive eating is for my son. I don't want him falling into the diet traps of labeling foods as good or bad which can bring so much harm to his future relationship with food. I've also learned so much from watching him eat, as children are born natural intuitive eaters. He eats only the stuff he likes and only when he's hungry and stops when full. When he's not hungry he doesn't think about food at all. It's a beautiful thing and the best example of healthy living for us screwed up adults that spend too long dissecting our eating choices.

I agree with you, it's important to sit and eat the same meal with kids. You can't have one person eating lasagna and the other person eating a salad and the other person eating a sandwich. There is nothing familial about that imo and as the person who is largely responsible for cooking for my family it's way too difficult. I don't have any dietary restrictions but I do feel better when I eat mostly veggies and stay away from super starchy stuff. So on a night that we're having spaghetti for example I'll have a small serving of the pasta with a large helping of salad and veg. My plate is always veg heavy no matter what we are eating as a family. For me moderation is key and I am no longer an outsider like I was when I was dieting.

Aww

A good example is - last night we had three different kinds of chicken (my husband loves to marinate and change it up), a casserole made of cauliflower, tomato and goat cheese, and I made yellow rice. I ate one of the chicken flavors - somehow ended up too spicy for my family, my daughter had one, and my husband had another. We all had casserole, and the two of them had rice.

Tonight I have eggplant and zucchini spinach-stuffed rollatini. If my daughter or husband want, I may make a little bit of pasta and/or some zucchini/turkey meatballs for them, but we're all eating "the main."

Tomorrow we plan to have family movie night and ground turkey nachos or "walking tacos." I'll eat it as a taco salad, and the two of them will share the plate of nachos or have their own walking tacos.

I like buffets and separating the foods. So, yes, have a casserole out. But also have a meat and several veggies. Everyone eats what they want. We also have a rule, "I don't care what you eat as long as you eat and it's healthy."

As they get older, believe it or not, not everyone will be at the dinner table at the same time! On those nights I have things waiting in the oven or on the stove and everyone helps themselves! I do sit with them, even if I'm just drinking something.

I also avoid the "diet" word. I say, "I'm on a plan" or "No thank you, you have the baked potato sweetheart" or even just "No thank you, I'm good".

My Husband and I are both watching what we eat and follow a healthy lifestyle. All meal times are the same meals but we bulk up a little bit with our teenage son. He is 14 and super skinny and needs more calories than us.

Generally he will have more bread and butter than us and will have full fat milk but apart from that more or less eats the same.

If I am watching my calories and I do soup I will have mine with a small salad and my son will have his with loads of bread and butter.

For one pot meals he tends to have the same and he is fine and gets what he needs.

You shouldn't have too much of a problem, just add a few extras to your kids plates and still keep them nutritious for example if you give them spuds make sure it is with the skin on as its better for them.

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions! I've simply been doing less one-pot style meals because it's easier to eat the same meals as my family that way (I just ease up on the carbs and high-cal stuff on my plate). It's not as convenient in terms of cooking and the time I spend in the kitchen, but right now it's worth the extra work.

A few thoughts. I am not sure why you don't want your kids to know you are trying to lose weight. At their age, you don't need to make a big deal out of it. But, I think to low key make a point that you are eating a little less so you can lose some weight is not bad. Where we want to be I think (and want for our kids) is to recognize if we have gained some weight and then take steps to lose it (preferably at a point where the gain isn't too much).

I wouldn't make a big deal but would say that I am cutting back a little since I have some extra weight I want to lose.

As for not eating some of what the family eats I think that is fine. Again, I would just explain if asked why I'm not eating the high carb food for example.

My youngest child is now 19. One thing I wish I had done more of is serve my kids the kind of healthy foods that I now eat all the time. You say:

Do you think those are healthy things to eat? The topping with cheese or butter? (Personally, I would say that it is sometimes healthy, to a point). If you think those things aren't healthy to eat (as you are serving them) then why give them to your kids? If you think they are healthy to eat twice a week and no more often, then why give them to your kids more often? If they are healthy to eat for your kids, why aren't they healthy for you (in perhaps smaller portions)?

I'm the one that makes the meals so they eat what I cook. I do rarely and let me stress it, rarely, cook more than one meal for dinner. I do watch what I eat but what I make is healthy and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for my family. My children are DS 14, DS 10, and DD 9.

One pot meal ideas that I usually make are minestrone soup that I serve with grilled cheese sandwiches, chicken and butternut squash curry, chili, and chicken stew with vegetables.

Hope that helps.

What is this, called by you, "diet" food?

Just wondering, are you hoarding the good, fresh, veg, fruit, lean meat and feeding your kids, yukky stuff.

"Diet" food = my low-cal/carb pitas & lavash, frozen calorie counted dinners, etc.

Yeah. All I feed my kids is noodles and bread, and I eat the green veggies. In fact, I refuse to give them broccoli and spinach, though they beg for it when they see it on my plate.

Yes, I do think cheese and butter are health (and I mean that non-sarcastically). I believe that kids need fat. They need whole milk. They need the extra calories for their growing bodies. I, however, do NOT need the extra calories. I am a 41-year-old mostly-sedentary woman. Although I do eat butter, cheese and whole milk, I have to watch portions from a strictly calorie point of view.

And no, I do NOT want my kids to know I am dieting. They see me as beautiful. I do not want them to think I am critical about my appearance. Fact is, I don't need to lose weight for health reasons. I am within a healthy BMI. The pounds I am trying to lose are vanity. If I had to watch what I eat for my health, that would be a different story.

I think it's okay to tell them that kids and grown-ups have different nutritional needs, which I believe is true, but I also believe in the unity of the family meal.

To those who offered advice, I thank you.

I am addressing you specifically because, though I owe you no explanation, I did want to point out that there are many children's nutritional experts who believe that our current guidelines regarding fat are wrong. Indeed, some suggest that the lack of fat in children's diets is detrimental to their health and development. Should you care to research it, you may find that limiting growing kids' fat intake is not the best thing at all.

But this doesn't mean that adults shouldn't limit their intake, within a certain degree.