Hi everyone,

A little background on me... I'm 5'5" with a medium build and currently weigh 179. Just in 2013 I was a slim 135. In 2010 I weighed nearly 200. So, you can see... I do the infamous yo-yo dieting.

I need to address my obstacles. 1) PCOS 2) Hypothyroid 3) Depression 4) Binging/Food addiction.

There. I said it out loud.... Maybe if I'm honest with myself, this journey will be the last of the yo-yo. Time to throw out that darn yo-yo!

I have an eating disorder. It ranges from anorexia to binge-eating. I am always one extreme or the other. I've tried a therapist, no luck. Is it common to have multiple types of eating disorders?

In 2013, when I was down to 135, I was low-carb dieting. The problem is, it's not realistic for me. I'm a carbitarian. So, once I START introducing carbs back in, I don't stop.

I tried the low carb thing this past December and January with minimal results. I've heard that it never works as well the second time. Why is that?

Is there anyone out there that wants to check in as a support buddy via email? Or challenge/encourage each other? I'm located in the mid-atlantic and I'm in my early 30's.

Thanks in advance and wishing you all well on your journey too!

I want to reply with a super long detailed post...but I have 4 kids and typically my toddler and baby prevent that, so I will write what I can and post it when I can't keep typing anymore.

I deal with an ED that is the same, I go between starving and binging, well, I used to. It has gotten MUCH better as I have worked on fixed it and eating normally. I still struggle though a lot. Like July 4th I over ate then ended up restricting the next day (yesterday) which only lead to over eating last night...its a horrible cycle.

Some of the steps I have taken...
I have to be aware of an avoid triggers. Actually the scale is a big trigger for me. I removed it for a while, and just let it back into my life lol but its starting to trigger me again.
I am triggers by up coming events where I feel others will judge my current weight.

I am triggered by others around me skipping meals as well as binging...sadly.

I am triggered by extreme anxiety and stress over something, that usually triggers me to restrict or under eat.

I also like to over exercise. Yes that is possible, when no matter what I do, its not enough exercise. Having 4 little kids, main having a new baby right now is seriously hindering my ability to exercise for hours and hours. And it honestly gives me TONS of anxiety.

I have yoyoed but in recent years its become more of I gain with my pregnancies then lose it, but I still experience a lot of ED symptoms when I am this over weight...
I think binge/restrict doesn't get the attention or help it needs because typically we are not morbidly obese or under weight so we look "normal"....its frustrating though.

To stop the yo yo ing you have to stop under eating, which is hard to do because I know for me that's when I feel the most in control and accomplished. ...
I'd type more but baby is fussing...I'll try to reply more later....

Diets don't work, permanent lifestyle changes do. And more likely than not you're addicted to sugar, not a "carbitarian." Consider looking into food addiction recovery.

Thanks so much, GlamourGirl. I'm glad I'm not alone. I tried to get to the root of the issue with a therapist... except the therapist was this skinny little sweet women who only told me to not diet and worry about finding love. :shocked: I don't think that helped much. lol

Like you, I enjoy exercising to the max. And in the past I could easily lose weight, muscle up and look healthy. But I always suffered from an ED, and in no time I would spend one night binging, and then it would go down hill from there.

The scale triggers me too. Well, either I obsessively check in (weigh myself multiple times a day, before and after food) or I don't touch it for months at a time because I know I'd become depressed.

What is triggering me now is that I have multiple weddings to go to this fall... One being my brother's, and I DON'T want to look back at these pictures and hate myself for how I looked.

How are you currently handling your diet?

MauiKai - My problem is that I do not life veggies. I have tried and tried and eventually would just rather not eat than eat veggies. I can tolerate salads at best. The veggies I do like, are really not that good for you. (Peas and corn)

I do have a food addiction. I have tried therapy in the past, with no such luck.

Even fruit (which I love) are carbs carbs carbs! I only eat white meat on occasion, and minimal diary. I don't like eggs. Sooo... this presents a problem, and always has.

Ok, so you know that what you like to eat is making you unhappy and unhealthy, right? In order for things to change, you're going to have to eat different things or you'll never get off the yo-yo. The palate can change, and with the right mindset and effort you can eventually be more comfortable eating real food items like veggies and appropriate protein.

Hi, back!

I'm going to be blunt, because I don't have time to beat around the bush. "I don't like veggies is a cop-out. There are so many veggies out there and each one has various ways to prepare it.

When you get your palate use to carbs and sugar, it cannot enjoy food like veggies. Not just myself but I've talked to women in the fitness groups I am apart of and after a binge, specially a carb full or sugar full one, it take several days to really enjoy "healthy" foods like roasted veggies or grilled fish for example. Yes, if your options are slice of pizza, or bowl of pasta or I don't know what you normally eat, of course the veggie might not sound as appealing.

If you did low carb you obviously eat something other than carbs & fruit. I agree that you have a sugar addiction of some sorts. If you remove it from your diet for hte most part, the processed stuff, you might also need to stay away from white flour, you know like regular pasta or bread, you may start to find that other foods taste better. Also, some veggies took more than one try to like. They say kids need to be offered something like 20 times to like it. Treat yourself the same way. Try foods you think you don't like over and over. Eat them when you are at your hungriest. This is the same thing I do for the kids. ome you may never like, some you will learn to like. I have plenty of veggies that I didn't like at one time now I love!

My diet isn't a diet. I don't diet. I use weight watchers as a guide because without it I under and over eat. I treat it like a disease. I must eat all my points. It helps with the mental struggle. I know if I eat all my points, but don't go over, I'm physically taking care of my body. Just like taking a pill daily. I have hypothyroid from Hashimoto's and the same way I take my med for that, I have to manage my diet. But I like to eat healthy anyway. When I over eat, most of the time it whole healthy food. Occasionally its frozen yogurt or cookies...it happens, but I don't feel unhappy eating healthy all day. I'm not cooking healthy meals because I'm on a diet. I'm cooking them because I like to fuel my body. My healing is partly about weight loss because I'm currently over weight and that's unhealthy, but it also about taking care of my body. I run, well, right now 3 months pp not as much, but I was training for a half when I got preg and I felt the difference in my runs when I was trying to restrict. I can't do that I do well with exercise.

I can't explain it, but when I changed my mindset several years ago from it being about looking good, to about being fit and strong, it got a lot easier. It seems a lot of the fuel for these EDs is about "getting skinny" and vanity.

Vanity doesn't care if you don't eat a nutritious diet, or if you starve or exercise to death, vanity only cares that you look good regards of what's really going on in your body. So short cuts are tempting...

Fit means you care about the journey to looking good, you care that you don't abuse your body in the process...so no short cuts. Thats when I started addressing the unhealthy habits like undereating, and over exercising....

Gotta go...HTH

Yep

I wish I could change my opinion of them, and I've tried.... and still try. I've had them cooked or prepared differently. I truly would rather go hungry.

I've learned to tolerate some, and will start there I guess and then keep adding a new one in.

When I low-carb dieted I mainly ate salad, chicken and cheese. Which quite honestly is not a healthy way of eating!

Tonight I will go to the store and buy asparagus.. I keep hearing I will like it... (though my last attempt was not positive!)

I've successfully lost weight numerous times without eating veggies, but maybe the reason I'm letting it creep back up is because of the lack of veggies??

I appreciate your advice, guys!

You can lose weight a zillion ways. You can only be healthy one way.

I disagree I think Salad can be healthy, You just have to watch how much dressing you put on it and I also think Chicken can be healthy especially when its grilled and a little cheese doesnt hurt.

Can you identify what it is about various veggies that you don't like? Is it taste or texture? And what is it about the ones that you DO like that makes them likable. Then, try to replicate that likability factor in other veggies.

A few veggies I WILL NOT eat cooked - but I love them raw. Some things just taste bland to me - but grilled with a small drizzle of balsamic vinegar makes them entirely different.

I know that to some people, broccoli and cilantro have a soapy taste. I think that's a genetic thing and probably not much of a fix for that one.

This is so true!

I used to be really addicted to sugar. Cutting it out was hard and I still sometimes fall for it, but when I do, it doesn't taste as good as it "used to" anymore. I think it takes about 2-3 weeks without refined sugar to get over the worst of it. Personally I still crave it sometimes, but only when I'm really hungry and grocery shopping.

There are so many different veggies out there! And peas aren't all that bad, they're pretty rich in protein.

Spangled, I don't suffer with eating disorders as you do, but I've heard good things about hypnotherapy to help those who have eating disorders, and I thought it worth suggesting. I used a hypnotherapy book and cd, and found it was absolutely amazing at changing my attitude to food, and the book gave a number of examples of people who found it helped with more severe eating disorders.

I hate green veggies and until I got on the Gabriel Method ( which BTW I believe might fit you ) . I've lost 108 and have 62 to get to healthy BMI. For me it's all about being healthy this time also. I'm 64 and this really is my last shot.I've gone 10 months with less than 6 grams sugar a day and zero white flour products, like maybe 98 % gluten free and I still hate green veggie. But, like you, I want to like them, not only for my health but because people often shame me for not eating them, which is how I got here to begin with: Nuns force feeding me them daily till I threw up. I atually have done good theraphy about this that gave me peace about the nuns but still gag when trying to eat them, let alone like them. I'm taking charge now with the Gabriel method of adding in nutrition and daily guided visualizations.
I'm using both Jon's that talk a lot about "fresh" veggies and I do a persoal one invisioning preparing fresh, organic veggies, even doing a green smoothie " cleanse" all smiling and looking forward to eating them & then eating saying "yum yum,love these green smoothies!". I started 3 weeks ago. 1 week ago I added in going into theta state with theta brainwave music and doing what Jon calls " powerwords" . I say outloud ,in this state, I love all vegatables!, I love and enjoy the taste and texture of all green veggies! IGreen smoothies taste yummy!". I do this 5 min.then continue meditating the remainder of the cd.
I'm not trying to taste veggies until Aug.15th when I'm doing a 12 day cleanse of which the last 5 days are green smoothies ( I think) it's an online GM thing ). Oh! How I'm praying this works. Great thing is ( I include lettuce - salad as green veggie) one day a couple weeks ago I found myself trying fresh romain hearts lettuce and loving it! Eat all the time since & yesterday I found myself craving celery instead of bread to put my chicken salad on, I'm putting tuna on it today. It just popped in my head just like it popped in my thoughts to put my spaghetti sauce on crunchy heart lettuce insread of pasta. I'll blog all about if it worked or not in Aug.I hope this helped. Be happy to PM about it with you. I Do believe stressing about it will make you gain weight. So give yourself a break you are not alone in this health journey. Big Hug

Even though there are a few eating disorders that get attention (anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder), many cannot be specified. Such as what you describe, excessive restriction that then swings over to binge eating and the constant pendulum between these 2 behaviors. Therapists will call this "eating disorder non-specified." I fell into that category and the best thing you can do is to see a Nutritional Therapist. A lot of people seek out the wrong kind of therapy imo but the great thing about a NT is that they won't waste a lot of your time talking about your issues, but rather spend time examining the eating behaviors you exhibit around the events of your life. It's been tremendously helpful to me and has helped me conquer my binge eating. I still struggle with overeating sometimes and I'm still learning ways to cope with stress without food, but I am no longer binging.

I'm with everyone else about the veggies. It's not only a cop out, it's immature. Eating vegetables is a non negotiable requirement if you want a healthy and resilient body and there is no way around it, not through supplements or calorie restrictions and no, you cannot just eat one type of vegetable thinking it's enough. There are hundreds of vegetables prepared in dozens of ways, raw, steamed, roasted, sauteed, blanched, pureed into a smoothie, it's endless. I grate carrots into my salad and can't even taste them, surely you can do something as simple as that. I drink berry smoothies with bunches of spinach and I cannot even taste the spinach. Start making smoothies, start eating veggies and you will soon grow to like them. Pick one vegetable and try it different ways, join a veggie cooking site and get to know how to prepare them properly. No excuses.

Peas are good for you by the way. They're full of phytonutrients, antioxidants, have anti inflammatory properties and are an excellent source of fiber and protein. A cup of peas only has 100calories and provides almost half of your daily dose of Vitamin K among many others. Next time add some carrots too.