I have always been the heavy one among the women in my life. I was heavy as a child, young adult, (and now) adult. My Mother and sister made SURE that I ALWAYS knew this (yes the name calling was unforgettable). They were both thin until about 15 years ago when the both picked up A LOT weight.
Anyways, I knew my place: I was the one who made everyone feel good about their weight because even though they are all overweight, I could tell they felt "At least I'm not as big as her ". I was always invited to things and you could see these women relax when I entered the room because they were no longer the heaviest ones there. I have developed pictures where I can see them looking at my body and laughing (yes, no kidding). They would wait till I arrived to eat and while I ate I could feel all eyes on me. In short, I was funny, outgoing and FAT.
Once I started losing, they were ok, but when I surpassed them..it became a issue. I truly feel like they dislike me now. They are close they will often pick arguments, team up on me especially if they find out I've lost weight or I'm doing well.
Has anyone else had this issue?
Last edited by Tiffrutherf; 06-02-2015 at 07:45 PM.
sorry for your pain, hope things get better for you. Family certainly knows how to push our buttons. You should be proud of yourself, you're doing great.
Perhaps seeing you succeeding is magnifying their feelings of failure, once they get past that pain you can be an inspiration to them to get healthy as well.
Stay strong, you're making great progress.
I hope things get better for you with your family and if nothing else you find inner peace, you reminded me of a quote "living well is the best revenge". Do yourself a favor, go on google, type in living well is the best revenge, then click on images, there are some gems there, some really made me smile
kelijpa,
Sometimes one voice can keep you going and stop you from doing something dumb, thanks for being that voice (I was going to eat a piece of cake, and God knows what else, because I was so frustrated!)..off to Google I go!!
Tiffrutherf Congratulations on your weight loss! I was the "fat one" growing up too, the one that even fellow fat people could use to make them feel better about themselves, so I can relate. I am sorry for the cruelty you've encountered, I think we all have challenges, but they take the cake (pun intended) for insecurity, which is what that is. I know this may seem trite, but I love the saying "Haters are motivators", because now when someone has something negative to say it just pushes me to want to "show them" lol, but more than anything to just be successful. Keep going, you're doing fantastic, you deserve to be successful, you deserve happiness and a feeling of accomplishment please never let ANYBODY blood or not take that from you. No one has to live your life, and endure your pain (be it emotional or physical).
I didn't have Bariatric surgery, but this young woman who did made a wonderful video that a lot of us could probably benefit from seeing. it's long but awesome (I am a huge fangirl of her's I must admit) but if you have the time check it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=037eEmqQtSc The gist of what she says is about how people will try to talk you out of self-improvement, for whatever reason, and you have to follow your heart and do what is best for you. WTG!
I have often thrown myself little pity parties on accounta the fact that I have been surrounded by boys/men my whole life.....until I hear a story like this....Man o Man...Wimmin!!! (Guess you can't expect support even from your own species!)
I had some family like this. ANYTHING bad they would fine a way to blame me. (Someone called and hung up? Musta been CatRN! Car broke? Didn't CatRN drive it last month? My bf did not send me a letter from prison, CatRn probably threw it away! See that evil kid in the movie Orphan? CatRN is like that!)
I cut them off and continue to cut off negative people. If you are not on my side, I dont need you in my life. Seriously, I moved out when she was at work (one of those relatives was my roomate). Never answered their calls again.
In your weightloss journey consider shedding negative people too. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Demand it. If you dont get it, move on.
Sounds like they were mean to you before and they are going to be mean to you now. It's their issue. Sometimes you just have to realize people are not going to change.
I did have a little issue with some female family members being a tad jealous when I first lost the weight. But, they got over it.
Woman can be so mean to each other...so sad.
I'm sorry that your family has to be like that. I grew up fat while my sister was normal sized, though she didn't tease me for it. I'm lighter than her now and sometimes she'll say something smart about how I eat or how I exercise or about me wasting away. I don't care for those comments, but they're not that malicious. I remember a contestant on Extreme Makeover named Ashley I think who had skinny siblings and a mean mom. I can imagine it must be hard not to have a proper support system from your supposed "loved ones".
Thank you all for your support. It is very hard when you don't have the support of the people closest to you. BUT I did something amazing today (at least I think so), I called a therapist. I found one that specializes in eating disorders. I think I need to talk threw this as this issue goes WAY deep.
I refuse to got back to the way I was, it only makes them winners! I'll keep you all posted!
Sucks that we can't choose our family bc yours in not being very nice. Just remember that people can project the worst things because they are mad about their own situation. Keep doin' you!!!!!!!! Your family is your family so all I can say is make sure to try to find people to be around that are going to be supportive or you may doubt all of your hard work
My mom had the same issue with her 2 sisters. Often we don't get to pick our own labels growing up. The smart one. The fat one. The good looking one. The black sheep. Whatever. But we do get to decide if we are going to continue to live up to them anymore. It will take time, but if you refuse to wear that label they will eventually stop seeing you that way. Until then you need to surround yourself with positive thoughts and people who will lift you up because you deserve it! We all do.
And like another other poster said, it's their problem and their issue, NOT yours.
Maybe my issue is family, not weight..
sorry for your pain, hope things get better for you. Family certainly knows how to push our buttons. You should be proud of yourself, you're doing great.
