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Old 05-21-2015, 08:06 PM   #16  
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I can remember very clearly when I felt just like you do except it wasn't just with my husband, it was with everyone in some way. If my mother was eating bread I thought she was trying to sabotage my low fat diet. If my friends were eating dessert I thought they were being insensitive to me. If my husband wanted chips I thought he was being a selfish jerk. I could go on. I felt this way constantly no matter what diet I was on. In truth I knew that I was the common problem because normal people don't get angry about food or defensive about diets, normal people don't seeth in anger because the pizza smells too good while eating chicken.

So while I can sympathize with you I also don't think your boyfriend has done anything wrong. You can't control what others do and you can't even expect them to be sensitive to this issue because this is really an issue you need to work through. I see things completely differently now since I've been doing IE for over a year and I can easily tell you that my husband can sit next to me and eat a bowl of chips without me having any kind of emotional response to it. I don't feel angry, sabotaged, scared of my cravings, or nervous around that food anymore. Potato chips are literally just an inanimate object when just a year ago they were my weakness, my nemesis, my comfort, the source of my self loathing, the cause of my fatness and my trigger.

I never would have believed it is I didn't experience it for myself but yes moderation is possible and it does lead to weightloss and more importantly peace of mind which is the main issue here.
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Old 05-21-2015, 09:02 PM   #17  
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Way to go Kiwi!

Last edited by mars735; 05-21-2015 at 09:03 PM.
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Old 05-22-2015, 12:28 AM   #18  
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That's awesome Kiwi!
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Old 05-22-2015, 07:47 AM   #19  
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Originally Posted by Palestrina View Post
I can remember very clearly when I felt just like you do except it wasn't just with my husband, it was with everyone in some way. If my mother was eating bread I thought she was trying to sabotage my low fat diet. If my friends were eating dessert I thought they were being insensitive to me. If my husband wanted chips I thought he was being a selfish jerk. I could go on. I felt this way constantly no matter what diet I was on. In truth I knew that I was the common problem because normal people don't get angry about food or defensive about diets, normal people don't seeth in anger because the pizza smells too good while eating chicken.

So while I can sympathize with you I also don't think your boyfriend has done anything wrong. You can't control what others do and you can't even expect them to be sensitive to this issue because this is really an issue you need to work through. I see things completely differently now since I've been doing IE for over a year and I can easily tell you that my husband can sit next to me and eat a bowl of chips without me having any kind of emotional response to it. I don't feel angry, sabotaged, scared of my cravings, or nervous around that food anymore. Potato chips are literally just an inanimate object when just a year ago they were my weakness, my nemesis, my comfort, the source of my self loathing, the cause of my fatness and my trigger.

I never would have believed it is I didn't experience it for myself but yes moderation is possible and it does lead to weightloss and more importantly peace of mind which is the main issue here.
What is IE?
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Old 05-22-2015, 08:29 AM   #20  
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When the question or whining about junky food comes up "oh, lets just get some icecream" or "one cheat sundae wont matter"; I have been saying something to myself (the evil little devil that wants junk food inside of me) and my husband (another evil little devil that wants junk food).

"Oh, suck it up, Nancy!" Its tough love on myself and my husband. ha ha ha
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Old 05-22-2015, 10:14 AM   #21  
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What is IE?
Intuitive Eating.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:23 AM   #22  
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I know what you're going through. My mom and brother eat out every single day (usually fast food crap which doesn't bother me at all because I can't eat it anyway), drink soda 24/7, and don't respect my tiny area that I have in the fridge. It's very frustrating. My brother makes stupid comments when I try to exercise (you're breathing heavy, are you ok you look like you're going to die!), when I eat (are you seriously measuring your food, have you counted your calories today?!) He's just rude and unhelpful. He might mean well, but it doesn't help and it's hurtful sometimes. He hasn't stopped even though I've talked to him several times about it. He's just a self-absorbed person.

Nothing I can do about that except keep going and prove him wrong. I told him the other day after he made a rude comment about my green tea. I said, "When I'm 239 pounds (because he's 240) and you come crying to me asking how I lost weight, I'm going to throw my green tea at you and smile." He didn't know what to say, it felt great to finally make him speechless LOL!
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Old 05-23-2015, 04:10 AM   #23  
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I eat pizza without cheese or too much oil. (Vegan)
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Old 05-23-2015, 08:18 AM   #24  
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I know what you're going through. My mom and brother eat out every single day (usually fast food crap which doesn't bother me at all because I can't eat it anyway), drink soda 24/7, and don't respect my tiny area that I have in the fridge. It's very frustrating. My brother makes stupid comments when I try to exercise (you're breathing heavy, are you ok you look like you're going to die!), when I eat (are you seriously measuring your food, have you counted your calories today?!) He's just rude and unhelpful. He might mean well, but it doesn't help and it's hurtful sometimes. He hasn't stopped even though I've talked to him several times about it. He's just a self-absorbed person.

Nothing I can do about that except keep going and prove him wrong. I told him the other day after he made a rude comment about my green tea. I said, "When I'm 239 pounds (because he's 240) and you come crying to me asking how I lost weight, I'm going to throw my green tea at you and smile." He didn't know what to say, it felt great to finally make him speechless LOL!
in his face. Im sorry that your brother is being insensitive. Sounds like he is worse than my bf. my bf is just oblivious. You keep going. I posted this thread a few days ago bc I was upset and emotional, but Im happy that I did bc I know that this must be a common theme for most people trying to lose wt or get healthy and I have found in the last month in the 5.5 wks that I've been on this site, nothing but support and motivation and my 25lb wt loss since mid April when I started proves it.
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Old 05-23-2015, 08:46 AM   #25  
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Kiwi, I have always had to face this with my DH who has never had a weight problem. For years, I ate the foods he wanted, and that's a big part of my weight problem. I know that in my life I am always going to be confronted with foods I should not be eating and it is in my best interest to learn how to deal with that instead of trying to make people quit eating what they like. I know it's hard, but it's the truth. You will run into foods at work, at parties, etc. Every time you successfully pass on that food is a victory that makes you stronger.

We used to get pizza often, at least once a week. I loved pizza and that was one of the hardest things for me to give up when I became diabetic. Now, when DH gets pizza, I pull off the cheese and topping and cut them up into a big bowl of salad greens. I get to taste the cheese and toppings without over-doing it and don't eat the crust. It took some adjustment, but this pizza salad is my way of dealing with it.

Tranquilize, brothers can be a big PITA, but when push comes to shove, in the end he will have your back. He is giving you incentive to show him what you're made of!!!
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:02 PM   #26  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Palestrina View Post
I can remember very clearly when I felt just like you do except it wasn't just with my husband, it was with everyone in some way. If my mother was eating bread I thought she was trying to sabotage my low fat diet. If my friends were eating dessert I thought they were being insensitive to me. If my husband wanted chips I thought he was being a selfish jerk. I could go on. I felt this way constantly no matter what diet I was on. In truth I knew that I was the common problem because normal people don't get angry about food or defensive about diets, normal people don't seeth in anger because the pizza smells too good while eating chicken.

So while I can sympathize with you I also don't think your boyfriend has done anything wrong. You can't control what others do and you can't even expect them to be sensitive to this issue because this is really an issue you need to work through. I see things completely differently now since I've been doing IE for over a year and I can easily tell you that my husband can sit next to me and eat a bowl of chips without me having any kind of emotional response to it. I don't feel angry, sabotaged, scared of my cravings, or nervous around that food anymore. Potato chips are literally just an inanimate object when just a year ago they were my weakness, my nemesis, my comfort, the source of my self loathing, the cause of my fatness and my trigger.

I never would have believed it is I didn't experience it for myself but yes moderation is possible and it does lead to weightloss and more importantly peace of mind which is the main issue here.
WOW!
This really just spoke to me on more levels then one!
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Old 05-24-2015, 07:15 AM   #27  
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in his face. Im sorry that your brother is being insensitive. Sounds like he is worse than my bf. my bf is just oblivious. You keep going. I posted this thread a few days ago bc I was upset and emotional, but Im happy that I did bc I know that this must be a common theme for most people trying to lose wt or get healthy and I have found in the last month in the 5.5 wks that I've been on this site, nothing but support and motivation and my 25lb wt loss since mid April when I started proves it.
I don't think this journey would be real if we WEREN'T emotional every now and then. Changing your lifestyle isn't like changing your clothes. It's a BIG, drastic change and it has to be permanent. I know I'm done my fair share of venting already and it'll happen a hundred more times before the year is over. Whoever has a problem with that, well just screw them.

Wannabehealthy, thank you.

About the pizza talk! I could never take the cheese off a pizza, because I LOVE cheese. I would rather just not eat the pizza and save it the dissection, lol. But I am SO proud of myself because I haven't eaten much cheese at all since probably the beginning of the year. And cheese was in probably every meal I ate. I LOVE it! But sometimes when you love something you have to let it go.. lol
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Old 05-27-2015, 10:32 AM   #28  
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Oh, I don't give up the cheese on the pizza. I eat it in my salad! It's the carby crust I ditch!
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