:welcome2: Thousandsunny! Yes please do throw your hat in the ring! Wow you have done fantastic with your weight loss!

I hope this is not totally out of line, and please ignore /forgive me if it is....It goes without saying that weight is a personal thing and no one should tell us what we should weigh, and our frames vary in size....

Is it possible that your body needs more calories? Looking at your stats, I can't help comparing myself: I'm 5'4" and when I weighed 154, I fit into size 6-8. I had the idea that I 'should' weigh 142-145. After dieting to that lower weight, I began to have powerful cravings. It was nice to be tiny but my life was so filled with cravings, fighting craving, or bingeing that I was not happy. In hindsight, my weight was just right at 154, so that made me wonder if your weight now might be the right one. If so, it would be natural for your body to fight further loss by having cravings.

Once I began to eat more, those cravings subsided a lot. Although I'm a little bigger than I would like, eating 'enough' has given me peace of mind, quality of life. You know your body, so this may not apply at all to you. Might be my wishful thinking for you to have this easier solution to dampen the cravings :)

You said it equanimity, quite a journey. I'm so glad to hear from you and everyone else dealing with these same things. It sure does make things lighter :hug:

Does anyone else struggle with not having "normal eating" to return to or very limited likes/dislikes with food? I feel like this relates more to my "EDNOS" type disorder rather than my binge eating issues/food addiction issues (although of course it feeds into those issues), but I have, and have always had, a limited palate (I really dislike a lot of foods, including very common/popular ones) and have difficulties eating certain foods. I've also eaten in a disordered way for so long that I don't really have a "normal" to return to. Like, I'm having an issue today because while I have food in my house, it's not what I want to eat, or I go to the grocery store and only get enough food for one day because I don't really know what to eat for meals. It's not so much a cooking issue, although I don't cook enough (currently have a stove top but no actual oven, so that's pretty limiting) but just… bleh.

Last time I saw a dietitian she wasn't really that helpful about this issue. I would tell her that the only breakfast I could really consistently eat was a bagel with two laughing cow cheeses and that was like the only "normal" eating in my day and she was like "that's too many grains for breakfast, you should eat half a bagel with natural peanut butter and some fruit" and I was like … I can't eat natural peanut butter, although yes I could add some fruit, and did you hear me when I said that ws the most normal meal? Like… I don't know.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else struggles to actually figure out what to eat when they're not eating the high sugar/carb/fat palatable foods that are either triggering or unhealthy enough that if you ate them regularly, you'd be malnourished? I want to see a dietician who specializes in eating disorders, but the free government program in my new city literally says if you have binge eating disorder, services will NOT be provided for you. I have an old, formal diagnosis of "ED-NOS" so maybe they'd take me, but eh. There is another dietician I found who looks nice, but I could only afford maybe one visit per month, unless my insurance covered some of it.

What else did you find helpful in establishing more normal eating patterns besides possibly professional help?

ladyfat Lately I've been thinking about this issue. After phasing off my 'final' diet, having finally reached my goal weight, I used to wander through the store without a clue what to buy or eat. I had been on a restrictive packaged food plan for 7 months, before that many yrs of disordered eating.

I since was able to channel a time & place in my life (42 yrs ago--I'm 62) where we all ate healthy food because we just couldn't afford junk food. There was no sense of deprivation, we actually ate wonderfully well. Fresh organic produce was dirt cheap & there were some very creative cooks among my friends. Now it's pretty easy to shop, and that WOE of eating feels familiar & comfortable. I stick to pretty much the same thing everyday, mix it up about once a week. I have some daily minor variations to keep from getting bored.

Can you pull from your past a healthy way that you ate? Doesn't need to be perfect, just a place to start. A dietician is a great idea. Consider interviewing them over the phone/email to get one who will work with your needs rather than a cookie-cutter prescription. Even if you just go a couple times to get a basic food plan sketched out. A group would be less costly; some dieticians offer them.

Do you have some basic nutrition knowledge? It might be fun to take a basics class if you don't. I got that from WeightWatchers a long time ago, but I don't think they cover basics like that anymore. It can be fun to learn about nutrition.

I empathize with you ladyfat. I was raised with terrible eating habits. So when I try to eat healthier I have a hard time knowing what that means. My mom was the kind of woman who said "you need some calcium so eat some potato chips and cottage cheese" or she would give us fruit with tons of sugar on it. I actually hated strawberries for the longest time until I had them without sugar. It was eye opening to realize you don't have to add sugar to everything.

ladyfat When my oven conked out, I bought a countertop convection over (Cuisinart) and still prefer it to the big oven. It's a real oven, not a just a toaster oven. It's more economical to heat than a regular oven, too.

tongirl02 Your early eating experience sounds a lot like mine. It's great that you discovered fruit as just fruit. Sugar really hijacks tastebuds...hard to enjoy an apple right after a Hershey bar, lol.

You're not out of line at all! Thank you for taking the time to reply. I know I should take a serious look at how and what I eat. Because I don't think I eat enough many days. I'm, frankly, terrified of eating most of the time. I assume it'll all go to weight. I struggle with eating most of the time and then I binge. Ugh. But you're right, I should look into eating more to help reduce my cravings for junk.

I know that it's scary about regaining, and it's also hard to get used to eating 'enough' without the worry of losing control. My experience is that eating adequately gave me back my feeling of being in control of my food choices. I'm still careful about what I eat, and even how much. But that is worlds apart from the constant bingeing or thoughts of bingeing.

It took a while for me to get to that point after rigorous dieting. Ultimately there was no other way because I was tired all the time, and tired of thinking about food, tired of dreading occasions where there would be trigger food, or tired of bingeing. I consulted a nutritionist to get help in figuring out how much was a reasonable amount of food. I did not trust my own hunger/satiety cues.

Here is something she told me that really helped not to freak out: once you give yourself permission to eat more, there's a natural reaction to run with it and want to eat a LOT more. That should subside shortly, it's a natural reaction to the permission following restriction. You can also try gradually increasing your calories week by week. I was past that point and just too hungry.

I encourage you to get some help with the process. As your body settles into it's 'correct' weight, it's tempting to fight it because we are so set on having that goal weight. Also the body is going to want to store a little extra in anticipation of the next 'famine'. So the scale will likely go up some. But even with my extra weight now, I feel great and am a LOT happier than when I was white knuckling it to stay thinner. I still have a great figure, AND I feel peaceful 99% of the time about what I eat.

Once you eat enough, it will be easier to exercise, and building muscle will really help to stabilize your weight. I hope some of this helps. I would like to help spare anyone the yoyo, binge-restrict experience that I had, when the head is aiming for a goal over the body's wisdom. Sending you good wishes!!! :hug:

I am 25 and have been eating in a disordered way since I was 13. Restriction, then bingeing, then restricting followed by bingeing, then removing restriction but still bingeing, then attempting to eat normally but still in a restricted way to lose weight… Prior to that I guess I ate intuitively, but at the same time, I recall being kind of weird about food even then. I've always been picky, and I remember doing stuff like sneaking a sleeve of Ritz crackers and eating them secretly in my room (no idea how old, maybe 9-11?) or over-eating a lot. I really don't have a lot of memories of normal eating to draw from.

I guess the key for me is just to soldier on and make it up as I go. I know generally what to do (more fruits and veggies, less processed foods, etc). I am moving to a new place in September which will have an oven so that will help.

I came to the thread today actually to mention my binge dream from last night. Does anyone else have these? I still remember reading James Frey's book that described "user dreams" and thinking to myself OMG! I have "USER" dreams about food! (User dreams are dreams about using a substance, alcohol or drugs, I guess when one is sober or getting sober). I dreamt about being in a store, and I didn't have money except a weird store credit card that only had 44 dollars on it and I had to find the optimal amount of binge food with that… but also had to hide what I was getting somehow. Then it transpired that I had promised to do Christmas with this little girl and her family ? so I had to hide my food and do this Christmas thing and wait until it was over to eat… it was frustrating! I didn't even get to eat my binge food in the dream! Haha.

I'm going on 23 days binge free and that's the first dream I've had and I think I had less calories than usual yesterday/a drop in weight this morning, so that's interesting to think if there was any correlation.

Congrats on 23 binge-free days ladyfat! :cp: I haven't experienced a user dream. If I had one, i'd like to think it was a sign that my brain is re-wiring itself away from addiction.Does Fry attribute a meaning to user dreams?

My news is 33/35 sugar free days. Last Sat I decided to have some. I didn't even enjoy it. I ended up bingeing somewhat. It was not triggered by the sugar but emotional triggers. The sweets I had were ones I would normally love but they didn't taste good at all. That's not to say they won't next time. I doubt those cravings will ever truly die off. But it was more the idea of them than the eating them that was the hook.

Have a great week all!

I'm baack! ;)
 

Hello fellow food addicts,

I used to post here often but then I went on a trip and things got out of control so I stopped posting (which is crazy but that's me! :p ).

I'm glad to be back and look forward to reading your posts. I know there are some new people and some of the ones I still recognize. I appreciate this place so much and wish everyone an easier time with food management. :hug:

I've gained 12 lbs. since I last posted but it was actually much more that I gained...I had put on 20 lbs. so I've lost 8, which is a good start. Mainly, I'm already relieved to be back on track. The out of control binging episodes that last for weeks with no end in sight are absolutely frightening for me so I'm filled with gratitude to be back on track.

It's GREAT to have you nack,Luckymommy! I am running late, back later. :hug:

:wave: Hi All! Sugar free check in, today will be 6 weeks (minus 2 days) sugar free.
Have a great weekend!

Mars -- 6 weeks (almost 7 at the time of my post!!!!)! YOWZER! Great job!

<<<<<lukymommy>>>>> love seeing you post! :)

How is everyone doing? I'm feeling stress today because I have a surgical procedure tomorrow: yuck. I also need to bake a birthday cake today; cooking: yuck.

Sending everyone good vibes and hugs!