How do I finally get to my goal?
 

So, here I am, again.

2014 was a disaster for me. In my adult life I floated around 140lbs for majority of it, apart from when I lost weight in late 2012. Today, I weigh 174. I am shocked at this. I am disgusted at myself. I am disappointed that I allowed myself to gain over 30lbs in ONE year. Who knew this was possible. :?: I'm so sad over this. I know exactly how I did this - I ate processed fatty foods mixed with junk and takeaways. This was a regular thing for 2014, in particular in the second half of 2014. I was going through some personal issues and I guess I saw food as comfort. I don't really know for sure.

But now I'm back. Trying again. I rejoined the gym yesterday and have gone yesterday and today. I plan on going tomorrow and I will need to discuss with my friend for our workout days next week. I'm looking at going 4 times per week and I have a programme to follow which I got from a meeting with a gym instructor yesterday. I went to the shops and purchased a lot of fruit and some better choices I can have for snacks rather than chocolate and sweets. I have made a brief plan of how to eat each day during the week but this is just going to be trial and error until I see how I get on and if I have enough food to ate during the day.

However, I have one problem... I'm so scared that I just won't be able to do it. I have so much determination (And I say that all the damn time, each time I try!) But I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. My head is filled with so much negativity right now regarding weight loss and I don't know how to fix it. I am trying and I have done well the last two days but I go back to work on Monday and the fear of falling back into old habits is pretty scary. Is there anyone who can offer me advice on how to stay strong and keep at it? I am absolutely miserable about myself, my body and my weight right now. It's not healthy to feel the way I do and it needs to change.

Welcome to post holiday blues! You, me, and several of us that came back this New Year are in the same boat. It is so easy to get carried away with life and just let yourself eat this, or skip that workout. You are already started so that is good. If you keep it up you will see results, it will be the maintenance you will want to find more support it sounds. Maintaining can be treacherous through life changes! Don't be afraid of failing, it sounds like you are more determined than ever. Baby steps!

I've lost 28 pounds in almost a year by cutting back on my eating and working out, Other then that I dont know what other advice to give you but good luck.

Hi there Dreamer,

I don't know how qualified I am to answer this as I haven't reached my goal or maintenance yet, but I'm going to try my best. Hopefully some of our maintainers will hop in here.

I don't think I've known many people who, when trying to solve one of life's major problems, losing weight, quitting smoking, drugs, or alcohol, etc., don't require multiple attempts and failures before they succeed. I quit smoking so many times that I lost count before my last quit of 10+ years. Just because you've failed before does not mean you can't succeed now.

One of the reasons that my current quit is 10 years and counting is that I learned that I'm always one puff away from a relapse.

How does this apply to weight loss, you might ask, since it isn't like you can just stop eating?

Well, in the past, I would be highly motivated to quit smoking for a time. Then something would happen that I felt justified smoking a cigarette.

Motivation always abandons me when the sh1t hits the fan. What I learned was that unless I committed to quitting smoking completely, no matter what happened in my life or whether I feel like it or not, I would relapse every time.

This is how I'm choosing to look at having a healthy relationship with food and my body. This is not to say that I'm not going to have off plan days or make mistakes. What it means in the terms of not relapsing is that I will never let myself give up just because I've made a mistake. I try to get right back on track with the very next decision so a lapse doesn't become a relapse. I'm committed to taking care of my body daily, whether I'm feeling it or not, because I know that if I don't it leads to regain every single time.

Something else I learned from quitting smoking:

Take it one day at a time. ( With smoking, it's 5 min. at a time at first. :lol:)

Get through today making the best decisions you can. Learn from your mistakes and apply the knowledge to tomorrow.

Hang in there! You can do it!

Some great stuff has already been written but just wanted to add a reply.

In 2013 I lost 30lbs.

Jan-Nov 2014 I gained 16. It creeps up and it's easy to not notice or decide not to care TODAY. But you have made that decision and that is so much harder to do than it would seem! This website has been the difference for me. Since coming back I have lost 10/16 lbs. keep coming here. Talk it out. Join the accountability thread or one of the challenges. What got me over the restart hump was writing in the accountability thread what I would eat TOMORROW. This really helped me to be alert the following day. It is like you are studying or in training. You will not be perfect, but if you keep trying and learning, it gets easier. And once you start seeing results you won't want to go backwards. It's hard at the start before you have tangible results, but they will come. Make small goals and be proud of each one.

I know it's hard not to hate on yourself but that won't help you. Believing in yourself and your power to change will, I believe. Weight is one of the few things I feel like I can really control and that feels good to me.

But this is just me going on and on. You will find your own way and it won't be the same as mine. I'm getting a little carried away. I think you already know what to do, I just hear you saying that self blame and discouragement is making you doubt it. Prove to yourself that you can do this one morsel at a time. You will gain confidence with every good choice you make and as the pounds start coming off there is no better gratification.

You've got to get positive!

You can be your own cheerleader, :cheer3::cheer2::cheer3: or your own worst enemy!:mad::devil:

I believe we need to quit looking at weight loss as diet and a life of deprivation, and approaching it with dread and fear of failure.

Instead, we need to look at it as a lifestyle change that is good for our over all health, so we can live longer, do more things, feel good, be happy!

Ya know, when everything else in your life is chaos, good for you, tasty food and a good workout should be the thread that keeps us hanging on and not the straw that broke the camels back!

I know that not every day is going to be stellar and perfect, food and exercise wise, but not every day in our life is perfect or stellar in lots of ways. Maybe yesterday was a great day, and everything fell into place great. Today, you got up, the cat puked on the floor, you hair flopped, and you broke a nail. But you get through it anyway!:hug:

Attitude is so important! If you have to, stand in front of your mirror, give yourself a hug, and tell YOU, that YOU are a great person! And SMILE!

Ok, off the attitude adjustment soap box.:D

Now, great that you have an exercise plan in place. A food plan is also important. Pick some kind of plan. Calorie counting, Paleo, Weight Watchers, whatever, but you need a plan, and some way to track what you are eating.;) You can still experiment, and do the trial and error as you go, but tracking is sooooooo important, especially starting out. Log everything, good or bad. Having that data, to look back on, helps you see where to go moving forward!:D

Every day, give yourself credit for good choices, no matter how small! Don't beat yourself over the head about mistakes, LEARN from them!

Wow, guys. Thank you all so much. You have given me a lot to think about. I'm about to go and start preparing what food I will be bringing with me to work for tomorrow. I feel a lot will be prep for the next few weeks while I can get back on track. I just need to hang in there! I can do it, I know I can :)

I was a VERY active member in 2011 when I was at my highest weight ever. After I reached my goal weight in 2012, my social life picked up and I came on here less and less. Over time, I gained most of the weight back. Not all of it but enough to where I am miserable both physically and mentally. I'm 152 now but I lost about 20 pounds since April when I started to watch what I was eating again.

Anyway, I came back on 3FC and read your post. YOU inspired me to come back on here and seek help again. I was so ashamed of coming back here as a failure. Especially after being that person who motivated others once upon a time. Now, I need help. So hard to admit. But I guess that's the first step, right? You took that step and now I'm following right behind you! :)

We can do this!

Being scared that I couldn't lose my weight was probably the biggest reason I stayed obese for so long. I was so overwhelmed with how much I needed to lose. I think most everyone feels like this so don't be too hard on yourself.

Some of the things that helped me along the way were to: journal my food, reward myself for every ten pounds lost and to kind of try to visualize what I would look like at goal.

Great job on going to the gym and purchasing healthier snacks! I wish you all the best with your goal and know you can reach it.

Welcome back ShanIam! Just wanted to tell you to please not feel ashamed or like a failure. You can't even imagine how many times over several decades I tried to lose weight before my final effort.

Keep posting so we can support you!

--just keep walking
--not running
--in an orderly line
--don't take any detours
--don't be tempted to walk into unknown rooms, especially if they're kitchens
--just keep walking

:lol:

This (especially the part I bolded) made me giggle but there is a really important nugget of truth in here, which is that often overeating doesn't just happen - it starts with a choice, and requires a series of choices to complete. For example, when I binge on a sack of candy, I have to go in the store, find the candy on the rack, bring it to the register, wait in line, pay for it, take it out of the store, open it, eat a piece, eat another piece, eat another piece, and so on. Each one of those moments is an opportunity to stop and make a different choice. Each one is an opportunity to just keep walking, as SeeMyFeet put it.

Which brings me to an answer to the OP's question how do I reach my goals. The longer I do this the more I believe that the answer is one choice at a time. Make the best choice you can make each and every time you are faced with a choice. Choose to plan your food for the day so you don't find yourself "caught" with "no choice" but to hit your favorite fast food stand. Choose to plan your food for the week so you have on-plan food at the ready and won't have "no choice" but to turn to takeaways out of tiredness. Choose not to buy that sack of junk food. Choose not to bring things into the house that make it hard for you to stick to your plan. Choose to take yourself to the gym.

And if you slip up - as believe me, most of us do from time to time - choose not to declare yourself a failure. Choose to get back on plan with the very next bite of food - not tomorrow, not next Monday, not the first of the month, but the very next bite.

Choose to do this for yourself one choice at a time. Choose to stick to your plan, one choice at a time. You can do this!

Did you try e-cigs to help you quit?

Thank you. :hug:

FYI -- I had made the decision to stop smoking around the time I decided enough was enough when it came to my weight. I went and bought an e-cig because I knew if I stopped cold turkey and didn't have something to do with my mouth, I'd stuff it would food! And let me tell you -- not only have I not gained weight but it actually helps me lose. The flavors I buy satisfies certain cravings. I also get a flavor that tastes like toothpaste and we all know that NO FOOD tastes good with that flavor in our mouths! I recommend it highly.

Nope, but I tried just about everything else, nicotine inhalers, zyban, etc.

I did it cold turkey and with the support of a website.

www.whyquit.com

I learned from Why Quit that it takes 3 days for your body to be rid of nicotine. After that, the cravings are psychological. There is a whole library of articles on how to deal with the psychological aspect on there. I highly recommend WhyQuit to anyone who's even thinking of quitting. The stories and pictures of people whose lives have been destroyed by smoking might be the push you need.

I know it's a concern for a lot of people, but weight gain is not given. After all, exercise is so much easier when you don't smoke. There are ways to cope besides overeating.

I was a 2 pack a day Camel smoker for 18 years. If I can do it, anyone can. :)