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SenseAndSensibility 12-13-2014 12:19 PM

Some Questions for those who have lost some or all of it!
 
Hello, I'm new here and I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but I have a few questions and I was hoping someone who has lost it could help me. I apologize if I'm in the wrong place, its just this forum is so much bigger than what I'm used too!

I've done a lot of research in preparation for my journey, and I'm trying to make a lifestyle change (not a temporary diet change) and I want to be realistic so I'm not dissapointed. None of these questions are "deal-breakers" for me, I just want to know! For reference, I'm aiming at loosing about 70+ pounds.

1. Will I get shorter? I know this is a weird and stupid question, but I'm curious. I don't mean like ridiculously shorter or anything, but is it possible that some of these pounds are adding to my height? Could I go from 5-foot 1 to just 5-foot? I'm mostly curious because I'm short to start and my husband is already over a foot taller than me. Just wondering if I'm gonna need a taller stool just to kiss him.
2. I've heard that your shoe size can change(shrink). Is this a real thing?!?! I didn't realize our feet carried that much weight to make a difference! If its true, I might hold off on buying cute shoes until I start loosing weight. (Shoes are kind of a comfort purchase for me, since clothes shopping can be so depressing. Shoes always look good, fit, etc. Never embarrassing!)
3. Will my posture change? Right now my weight is kind of all in the front (boobs and belly) and I get a lot of lower back pain recently since I've crept up to my biggest weight. I just feel like maybe my back is in a bad position from the weight. Or maybe it's just part of having an office job.
4. I'm trying really hard not to day dream about my eventual new body, or look at woman and say "that's what I want to/what I will look like." I really don't know what me at 120 pounds looks like, never been that small as adult, only as a child. I tell myself nothing is going to change, I'm still going to have the same everything just at a different size. Same problems, same personality, etc. I tell myself I'll have new problems. I don't want to give myself unrealistic expectations or a fantasy. But, at the same time, is it possible to be "too" harsh on yourself, and kill the momentum? Basically, what's a good balance between "realistic expectations" and "new body fantasies". What are tricks or things that helped you guys? Are goals like " I want my husband to be able to pick me up" safe fantasies?
5. Me and all of my besties are "plump princesses" it makes every thing more relatable, shopping fun cause we're always in the same sections, etc. I'm definitely the biggest of all of us (and the least properly proportioned due to where ai carry my weight) but I'm a little scared about what loosing weight will mean with friends. I don't think it will end or ruin the friendship. We aren't like that. But, I'm worry it will strain it some. Its already harder being the first of our group to get married. Thoughts? Experiences?
6. What do you say to people about your eating habits when you don't want the whole world to know you're pursuing a new life style? (I say lifestyle and not diet cause its not a fad, I'm making a life style change!!!) People are starting to notice that I'm eating different. I'm refusing extra cookies, sodas, etc. I'm not ashamed of my new lifestyle, but the more people I tell, the more food police I get or they do the opposite and try to force me to eat crap because they think I'm like developing an eating disorder (I'm not, have accountability in my husband and closest friends. I'm actually eating three meals a day instead of a binge dinner and snacks and getting more vegetablea and less processed carb)Mostly I've been telling little white lies to be less suspicious ("I already had three cookies" or "That soda makes my teeth hurt") Is this bad, or is honesty just best to get it "out of the way". thoughts?

Thanks for reading and I hope you don't think I'm too ridiculous with my questions. Hopefully some other people have questions too and we can all learn more!

novangel 12-13-2014 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SenseandSensibility (Post 5104615)
1. Will I get shorter

No, but you could get a litter taller. Less weight is less compression on your spine.

Quote:

Shoe size can change(shrink). Is this a real thing?!?!
Yep.

Quote:

3. Will my posture change? Right now my weight is kind of all in the front (boobs and belly) and I get a lot of lower back pain recently since I've crept up to my biggest weight.
It sure can, as well as relieve back pain. :)

Quote:

4. I'm trying really hard not to day dream about my eventual new body, or look at woman and say "that's what I want to/what I will look like." I really don't know what me at 120 pounds looks like, never been that small as adult, only as a child. I tell myself nothing is going to change, I'm still going to have the same everything just at a different size. Same problems, same personality, etc. I tell myself I'll have new problems. I don't want to give myself unrealistic expectations or a fantasy. But, at the same time, is it possible to be "too" harsh on yourself, and kill the momentum? Basically, what's a good balance between "realistic expectations" and "new body fantasies". What are tricks or things that helped you guys? Are goals like " I want my husband to be able to pick me up" safe fantasies?
Don't go there yet, and definitely don't compare yourself to other women since bodies can vary by so much. Yes, you will still have the same problems and you will still be you, nothing will change on the inside except you will probably feel better about your body. It's good to have a goal but take your time and you will need to be extremely patient. Weight loss at times will stall. Rely more on how your clothes fit and a tape measure over the scale.

Quote:

5. Me and all of my besties are "plump princesses" it makes every thing more relatable, shopping fun cause we're always in the same sections, etc. I'm definitely the biggest of all of us (and the least properly proportioned due to where ai carry my weight) but I'm a little scared about what loosing weight will mean with friends. I don't think it will end or ruin the friendship. We aren't like that. But, I'm worry it will strain it some. Its already harder being the first of our group to get married. Thoughts? Experiences?
It can definitely strain friendships/relationships. It just depends but expect a little jealousy and unsolicited advice. Not saying it will happen, just expect the unexpected from other people. If you lose any friends then they were not your friends.

Quote:

6. What do you say to people about your eating habits when you don't want the whole world to know you're pursuing a new life style? (I say lifestyle and not diet cause its not a fad, I'm making a life style change!!!) People are starting to notice that I'm eating different. I'm refusing extra cookies, sodas, etc. I'm not ashamed of my new lifestyle, but the more people I tell, the more food police I get or they do the opposite and try to force me to eat crap because they think I'm like developing an eating disorder (I'm not, have accountability in my husband and closest friends. I'm actually eating three meals a day instead of a binge dinner and snacks and getting more vegetablea and less processed carb)Mostly I've been telling little white lies to be less suspicious ("I already had three cookies" or "That soda makes my teeth hurt") Is this bad, or is honesty just best to get it "out of the way". thoughts?
Nothing! The food police drive me insane, tell them to mind their own business. You will lose 20p and you will get the "you are losing too much weight" comments. Ignore them and just keep going. Most people have a very skewed perception on what a normal body weight looks like because so many people are overweight. JMHO.

I never had to lose 70p but lots of people here have, and more. Good luck. :)

SunnySide99 12-13-2014 04:50 PM

1. Will I get shorter?
I grew about an inch!

2. I've heard that your shoe size can change(shrink). Is this a real thing?!?!
I went from wide width to normal and I lost 2 sizes. Great idea on holding off. I didn't even know this could happen and I wasted a lot of money on shoes and boots. I lost a lot of inches in my calves too so I can't fit my wide calf boots either.


3. Will my posture change?
Mine changed a lot...my core and back is a lot stronger (I do a lot of Pilates) so I sit and stand more upright with my shoulders back than I did previously. My old fitness instructor noticed the changes about a year into my journey.


4. what's a good balance between "realistic expectations" and "new body fantasies". What are tricks or things that helped you guys? Are goals like " I want my husband to be able to pick me up" safe fantasies?

This will not answer your question, but I did not have any expectations like a celebrity dream body goal. I didn't even have a goal weight. I just wanted to be healthy, fit, strong and with no rolls on my body. I did not know what that weight would be.

I did have an ideal size/measurement range I thought it would be great to reach, but I just focused on getting fit and watching what I ate and weight loss was a byproduct of my hard work. I said things like "it would be great to do a push up on my toes" or "next month I'm going to walk 100 miles" etc. I've been maintaining for almost 2 years and new fitness goals are still ongoing.


5. Me and all of my besties are "plump princesses" it makes every thing more relatable, shopping fun cause we're always in the same sections, etc. I'm definitely the biggest of all of us (and the least properly proportioned due to where ai carry my weight) but I'm a little scared about what loosing weight will mean with friends. I don't think it will end or ruin the friendship. We aren't like that. But, I'm worry it will strain it some. Its already harder being the first of our group to get married. Thoughts? Experiences?

Be prepared...you might lose some friends. Some people my get jealous of your success and determination as you continue losing weight. Others may try to keep you from reaching your goals and want you to stay the same like them.

My lifestyle has changed completely. These days I'd much rather go out for a hike or ice skating, but 3+ years ago my preferred activity out with friends was going out to eat at a high calorie appetizer/meal at a restaurant, followed by eating a high calorie dessert and drinks. Not to say I don't go out to eat because I do, but some people that were in my life don't understand my new lifestyle and that's okay.


6. What do you say to people about your eating habits when you don't want the whole world to know you're pursuing a new life style?
I actually did not tell anyone besides my partner when I first started. When I started losing weight and inches that's when the questions from others began.

In my experience most people who ask me just wanted to know if I'm taking any pills and if so what is the name and where could they get them from. Most were/are not truly interested in hearing my daily diet and exercise routine, nor would I ever volunteer it or bring it up. I just tell people I eat normally just less of things (which is true) and I'm much more physically active.

About the food police, I still get people trying to push food. I have no problems fitting things in etc., but sometimes it's just not worth the calories IMO or I just don't want it. I found just saying "no thank you" or "thanks, but I'm good" suffice. Any excuses has lead to more questions and pressure. If asked why not or food pushed in my space (which has happened) I just say I don't want any or I will put the food back into their space without any words. Being nice and polite did not work for me at all. LOL

Sending you lots of luck to you OP!

toastedsmoke 12-16-2014 09:44 AM

[QUOTE=SenseandSensibility;5104615]Hello, I'm new here and I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but I have a few questions and I was hoping someone who has lost it could help me. I apologize if I'm in the wrong place, its just this forum is so much bigger than what I'm used too!

I've done a lot of research in preparation for my journey, and I'm trying to make a lifestyle change (not a temporary diet change) and I want to be realistic so I'm not dissapointed. None of these questions are "deal-breakers" for me, I just want to know! For reference, I'm aiming at loosing about 70+ pounds.

1. Will I get shorter? I know this is a weird and stupid question, but I'm curious.

Not a stupid question at all! A lot of people get a little taller because of carrying less weight on the spine, better posture etc. I've seen reported up to an inch taller here on 3FC. Never heard anyone getting shorter though, so no worries there, I don't think. For me, I wouldn't have minded the extra half inch or inch of extra height but I stayed the same... I've always had pretty good posture though, thanks to my mom constantly poking me in the back to stand/sit up straight as a child/teen.

2. I've heard that your shoe size can change(shrink). Is this a real thing?!?!

I love shoes too! I've seen people on here say they lost a shoe size or half a shoe size! I'd have loved that with my size 11 flippers. My feet got less wide and meaty though even though they stayed the same length which makes heels a LOT less comfortable. So yes, shoe size changes, it's a real thing, but no it might not be THAT dramatic... plus there's always insoles etc for non sandals.

3. Will my posture change? Right now my weight is kind of all in the front (boobs and belly) and I get a lot of lower back pain recently since I've crept up to my biggest weight.
I was the appliest of apple shapes and let's just say I was a high ranking captain in the big boob committee (they're much smaller now with weight loss) and so I remember the back pain and discomfort even when I had good posture. I think most people's posture changes because of the less weight on the spine. And as the girls and the belly reduce with weight loss, it also gets easier to sit straight and have better posture. So yes it's likely your posture will improve.

4. I'm trying really hard not to day dream about my eventual new body, or look at woman and say "that's what I want to/what I will look like." I really don't know what me at 120 pounds looks like, never been that small as adult, only as a child. I tell myself nothing is going to change. Basically, what's a good balance between "realistic expectations" and "new body fantasies". What are tricks or things that helped you guys? Are goals like " I want my husband to be able to pick me up" safe fantasies?
I think for me, I DREAMED of being a US size 12 and in my mind that was the epitome of leanness. I mean I had body fantasies of ending up with Beyonce's body (forget that hips and butt aren't my strong suit) but it was the sort of thing where I didn't really believe it will happen for me especially since I'd been obese my whole life (like 200lbs before I was 12-obese) so I had no frame of reference. I think body fantasies are fine as long as you keep the perspective that it might not end up exactly as you imagine. It's unfair to expect to have realistic expectations until you approach goal especially if you have no basis for them. In these early days, you are going to need all the motivation you can get so this is the time to dream big! Most of my goals were weight, measurement and fitness related so I didn't really have any cool ones like wanting my man to pick me up (mostly because I have/had no man :'( lol) but still, your goals can be whatever you want. Also they should be realistic, like let's say your husband was 5'1, skinny and small-framed, there's no point setting the goal of him carrying you because it would be tough to achieve. If your fantasy is to be a size 6 or something for example, that's probably doable. Or to be able to run a marathon or lift your own weight- those are achievable. I did mini goals like losing 5-lbs and then I'd have some sort of reward like a lipstick or a nail polish. Or going down a size and then I could have an item of clothing in that size- stuff like that, but your question has broadened my thinking to realize I could probably get a little more creative.

5. Me and all of my besties are "plump princesses" it makes every thing more relatable, shopping fun cause we're always in the same sections, etc. I'm definitely the biggest of all of us (and the least properly proportioned due to where ai carry my weight) but I'm a little scared about what loosing weight will mean with friends. I don't think it will end or ruin the friendship. We aren't like that. But, I'm worry it will strain it some. Its already harder being the first of our group to get married. Thoughts? Experiences?
My experience was always being the chubby friend amongst skinny girls so I can't really speak on this. But we were pretty much a foodie group. We used to do a lot of dinner parties and social eating out and so it's a little tougher now but then I've never really cut out any kind of food and I have cheat meals and cheat days so like I try to save a meal for Sunday Brunch or I'll eat around a dinner out where that might be the only meal I eat that day, that sort of thing. We make it work.

6. What do you say to people about your eating habits when you don't want the whole world to know you're pursuing a new life style?
Girl, the food police is real, and ready to get all in your business. They don't mean any harm, they think they're being helpful but it's sooooo aggravating and no one has time for that. I didn't tell anyone when I started my journey. I just started doing my own thing much like you're doing until like 60-70 lbs down, I had to either admit I was working on losing weight or it would be like I had some life-threatening illness. My go-to excuses were things like "I'm really full" or "I had a big breakfast/lunch/dinner" or "I really can't eat another bite" etc etc. You don't have to share your journey with anyone till you're ready. Exercise, you can do that in your own private time so there is that.

Good luck on your journey!!! You can totally rock this out! Your questions are perfectly sensible and where better to ask them than on a weight loss forum with other people who have or have similar concerns.

Palestrina 12-16-2014 09:29 PM

3. Your posture may change a little, however there are several muscles in your back that need to be strengthened in order to get really nice posture, it's not just about walking with a book on your head. So even though there will be less pressure from your weight making your posture better, those muscles do need to be strengthened to see a real drastic change in posture. I know lots of skinny folks with terrible posture btw.

4. Fantasies - begin loving your body now. Don't withhold your own self love until you reach some arbitrary number on a scale. Confidence is a skill, it does not get doled out to you after you lost weight so begin working on it now.

5. Lots of people will treat you differently and that's not always a good thing. Especially when it comes to other girls, watch out! Be yourself always and if people can't handle it then that's their problem.

6. The food police sucks big time but I love your responses. Although a "no thank you" should suffice some people will not get off your back and will argue with you. So I like that you say something they can't argue against. Here's a few more fibs for you. "I just ate." "I have heartburn," "My tummy is upset" or "I'm meeting someone for dinner soon and I don't want to spoil my appetite" or "I have a food sensitivity to that food" or "I already had some thanks" or "I don't like those." Obviously these lies don't hurt ANYONE right? And if someone catches you in a lie just tell them "look, sometimes you're a little pushy about offering me that food and you don't take no for an answer so I fibbed a little!"


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