Well that was obvious eating for the wrong reasons.... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


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Old 11-10-2014, 07:44 PM   #1  
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Default Well that was obvious eating for the wrong reasons....

So hubby works at the hospital and him being gone holidays is a possibility. When he took this job is was 11a - 11p. The hospital decide about 8 months ago to change the hours to be a day shift 7a-7p and a night shift 6p-3a. No one has any say, you don't like it leave. But that's working in medicine, you are dispensable.

So he's work the night shift Thanksgiving, so we'll have an early dinner, but we expected him to be off Christmas day and if he worked eve to work the day shift to be home at night. There are others in his department and he is 2nd in seniority. He was schedule off Christmas Eve and day. Then he was told (as well as every one else) that there was an error and they need the late shift filled. He is already working that whole week, the 22,23,26, & 27. And he has the most hours in the department. He has a feeling they will ask him, even though he is already working Thanksgiving. There is only one other person off the eve and day. I said let them ask both of you then. This person also hasn't been there as long as my husband. I feel bad because they are all really nice people.

I don't want to tell hubby though he knows, but if he is gone Christmas eve, it will be so hard for me. Christmas day my family does an extend family thing so when every he works that I'm not sitting home alone. But the eve, they just sit with their immediate family (their husbands and siblings) of which I'm not a part of. I will have the kids but I know once they go to bed I will be alone and very sad. I know many people love Christmas but I am one of those that REALLY enjoys it and loves the building of anticipation....to spend the eve alone....oh then have hubby sleep the next day....When he texted me and told me about and hour ago, I ended up eating a bunch of left over Halloween candy....The worst part is, if he does get assigned that shift its going to be hard for me to shake that feeling of depression from here until then. I feel so over dramatic...I'm acting like the season is ruined...honestly its the damper on thanksgiving and now this.
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Old 11-10-2014, 08:05 PM   #2  
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Well, there are a few things you could do that might help:

1. Ask him if he could call in sick.
2. Show up at his work with his Christmas kiss and present and do your best to make everyone around him feel guilty for making him work (yes, kind of childish but hey, if it makes you feel better...)
3. Have a special replacement Christmas day and make it even BETTER than the real one

If those won't help:

First off, I offer hugs. Hugs, hugs hugs. Sorry.
Second... you're going to be okay. Food isn't a good husband replacement, unfortunately. I mean it might seem like it at the time, but it really isn't. Why not use that dejected energy to write him a nice christmas letter, or do a project for the house, or something? And when the extended family is around, see if you can get a game started, maybe cards or a board game or charades, and keep your thoughts there?

It's sad being without your hubby, I know. Mine works nights and I work days, and we don't have the same weekend... so we only see each other about 2 hours a day for the most part. And he'll be working Christmas Day and New Years Eve as well, so I know how you feel (well sort of - I'm used to it). But he's working hard because he loves you, and he'll be home soon enough. Just make sure you get to enjoy some christmasy time with him once he's home again. There's no reason it has to happen on the day
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Old 11-10-2014, 08:30 PM   #3  
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The joys of working in healthcare! It's just part of the territory but doesn't make it any easier.

Can you invite a friend over to spend some time with? There might be someone in your life who's also alone that evening and would appreciate the invite.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:00 PM   #4  
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Thank you both...Unfortunately calling out sick when you are working in the hospital on Christmas is just no. Seriously the only way it would be excused is if your obit was in the paper the day before, and even then, *someone* would probably still complain that you let them short staffed, on a holiday no less. I also cant stop there only because I have 3 little kids and no one to watch them and bringing them isn't really an option, otherwise that would actually be a cute idea that he would like

I work in healthcare too and between us both we have been working holidays for about 15 years. Hubby has worked Christmas eve day before which actually isn't too bad, but oh those nights....he's gone now, he's been on a 4 "day: stretch of nights, I HATE it. I used to work nights too. No fun.

Its like I know that eating wont help but that's one of my biggest down falls, nights he's gone, I snack out of loneliness. Some nights I manage to distract myself, but not all. This is a problem pregnant ,not pregnant, all the time.

All of my friends have families so getting together in the evening isn't an option since that's when their husbands are home and by the time you get the kids to bed and then there's school the next day...

This is the kind of eating that bothers me most. Its SO obvious what's going on and I tell myself all the ways I will handle it then in the moment, I just feel so bad I don't care, I just want to feel better.
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Old 11-10-2014, 09:07 PM   #5  
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Originally Posted by GlamourGirl827 View Post
This is the kind of eating that bothers me most. Its SO obvious what's going on and I tell myself all the ways I will handle it then in the moment, I just feel so bad I don't care, I just want to feel better.
Maybe there's some way to plan ahead for those times, and schedule something else to keep yourself occupied?

Like, if you like to play video games you could schedule time online with fellow gamers online.

Or maybe you have a friend who you could have a facetime date with, to do crafts or something?

Or you could take the kids out to look at stars in the sky... make it an educational evening, maybe keep an eye out for Santa Claus too :P (his sleigh looks a lot like a shooting star, for the record!)

Just a thought. I think I'm relatively unemotional (I mean I have emotions but they don't seem to match up with a lot of people's descriptions of theirs)... and not very social... so I don't always empathize very well with people having trouble, and I end up focussing on how to solve problems... sorry if what you need is mostly emotional support.

I do care!

Last edited by faiora; 11-10-2014 at 09:08 PM.
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Old 11-11-2014, 10:14 AM   #6  
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It sucks, but it doesn't sound like there's anything you can do to change it so put your energy into making the day something to look forward to anyway. Perhaps you can schedule something for before or after that you can do with the family instead of. And on Christmas Eve when you're all alone and possibly sad, set up some activity just for yourself to enjoy. If it were me I would probably enjoy my favorite meal on my own and curl up to a movie that hubby wouldn't want to watch anyway - it's ok, it's a special occassion, why not?

I almost always work on Christmas Eve and leave hubby alone. He's never complained but I know it's hard. I just try to enjoy what I'm doing while I'm out there which is not hard for me to do, and look forward to Christmas morning. Earlier in the day on Christmas Eve I'm with my hubby and son going out to church and baking (since I host Christmas Day for the whole family!). It's not in the cards for us to spend both Christmas Eve and Day together, ever, so we make the best of it.
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Old 11-11-2014, 12:45 PM   #7  
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Holidays alone are hard but sometimes you have to do your best to make it workable - like when our loved ones are deployed. We celebrate a bit early or celebrate a bit late and when we have them close to the holiday, we're exceedingly thankful that we do.
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Old 11-11-2014, 02:38 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GlamourGirl827 View Post
So hubby works at the hospital and him being gone holidays is a possibility. When he took this job is was 11a - 11p. The hospital decide about 8 months ago to change the hours to be a day shift 7a-7p and a night shift 6p-3a. No one has any say, you don't like it leave. But that's working in medicine, you are dispensable.

So he's work the night shift Thanksgiving, so we'll have an early dinner, but we expected him to be off Christmas day and if he worked eve to work the day shift to be home at night. There are others in his department and he is 2nd in seniority. He was schedule off Christmas Eve and day. Then he was told (as well as every one else) that there was an error and they need the late shift filled. He is already working that whole week, the 22,23,26, & 27. And he has the most hours in the department. He has a feeling they will ask him, even though he is already working Thanksgiving. There is only one other person off the eve and day. I said let them ask both of you then. This person also hasn't been there as long as my husband. I feel bad because they are all really nice people.

I don't want to tell hubby though he knows, but if he is gone Christmas eve, it will be so hard for me. Christmas day my family does an extend family thing so when every he works that I'm not sitting home alone. But the eve, they just sit with their immediate family (their husbands and siblings) of which I'm not a part of. I will have the kids but I know once they go to bed I will be alone and very sad. I know many people love Christmas but I am one of those that REALLY enjoys it and loves the building of anticipation....to spend the eve alone....oh then have hubby sleep the next day....When he texted me and told me about and hour ago, I ended up eating a bunch of left over Halloween candy....The worst part is, if he does get assigned that shift its going to be hard for me to shake that feeling of depression from here until then. I feel so over dramatic...I'm acting like the season is ruined...honestly its the damper on thanksgiving and now this.
I too work in healthcare, so I know how it is. But is it possible for him to refuse to work? He can say he'll be out of town and the flight is already purchased or something like that.
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