Obsessed with food.
 

I literally feel obsessed. More than I was before I ever started losing weight. The last 9 months I haven't been able to stay on plan for more than a couple of days, and even then I've slipped back into really bad eating habits (for weeks and weeks) every time. I just want to eat everything (bad), all the time. When I'm at work, I think about picking chocolate (not a bar, like box!) up on the way home, in the morning I think about buying cake for a morning break, I can't stop thinking constantly about what I want to eat. And then I do eat it! It's driving me up the wall!

I keep saying I'm going to start fresh today, but I've become so dependent on food lately, that the thought of not having what I want, when I want it seems impossible and intimidating. And when I do manage to stay on plan, it's just a different kind of obsessing, and I'm still thinking about food all day. I'm sure I didn't used to be this bad, I just wish I could stop it. :?: I don't want my every waking thought to revolve around food

I was in the same boat as you. It seems that you've lost control. Relax, all you have to do is regain control of your appetite and your mind.

Let me ask you something. Why do you want to eat those foods? Because they'll make you feel good, right? But do they really make you feel good? Or is it only a temporary high? I know that after I eat a dessert, I sit back and reflect on how pointless it was because I was only happy while eating it, and now I've put crap in my body. Talk about a lose-lose. So next time you eat something bad, think about how you feel now. Consider: was it worth it? Don't beat yourself up, though, just notice how empty you feel now.

Next time your mind pops up with thoughts of food, just observe it. Don't judge yourself, just watch how insane it is in thinking that eating those foods will make you feel good. Because they won't. If the cravings become too much to bear, go ahead and give in! Then afterwards think about how you feel. It'll be a good lesson.

If you're looking for a more concrete solution, something that cured me of cravings was a two week detox diet where I cut out sugar, gluten, soy, corn, dairy, meat, caffeine, and processed foods. I only ate fruits, vegetables, legumes, non-gluten grains, nuts, seeds, and lots of water. After the two weeks was up, I was more in tune with my body. I was satiated after eating less, and I don't know... my body was just communicating with me better. It told me when to eat and when to stop. Also, sugary foods didn't appeal to me anymore. I just wanted a green juice or a salad. When I did eat a dessert, I felt HORRIBLE. I was jittery, sleepy, and nauseous. Now I'm practically dessert proof because I never want to feel like that again, lol. I think that a sugar detox might be a good idea for you. There are plenty of books and programs on how to do it.

If I can kick the habit, you can too! :)

Originally Posted by chmia14:
If you're looking for a more concrete solution, something that cured me of cravings was a two week detox diet where I cut out sugar, gluten, soy, corn, dairy, meat, caffeine, and processed foods. I only ate fruits, vegetables, legumes, non-gluten grains, nuts, seeds, and lots of water.

I'm liking that!

For me, I realized it is a blood sugar thing. When my blood sugar rises so high
with junk type food then falls like a faulty rocket then nothing can stop me
from grabbing more to stop the fall. Every hope and dream disappears when
I crave like a crazy person. That happens when I under eat and/or when I
eat things that zoom up the blood sugar quickly then drop it again later like
a lead balloon. It's a see saw effect, up and down, up and down. The only
way out is to stop what makes that happen. It usually only takes a few days
for me to stable my mind and body so I can press on.

Personally, diets are too rigid. I know what's good and I create a mind trip
of falling in love with beautiful earth produced foods, not manufactured
foods. It helps to visualize the beauty of good food that comes from the
earth and is eaten raw or lightly cooked. I use real fat, too: Olive oil and
organic butter in most cooked food, balsamic vinegar and olive oil on salads.
I use full fat cheeses, too. I eat small portions knowing I can always have
more later if I need it. We use 1% milk because that's what my husband
prefers but I use 1/2 & 1/2 in my morning decaf (regular coffee makes me
jittery). I don't trim beef and I enjoy crisp chicken skin on my baked chicken.
I like fat! it gives meat flavor and tenderness and juiciness.

Hope this helps! for me it never ends, it's a daily mind set that I mess up on
sometimes but have to just keep on going. Even "naturally thin" people have
off days.


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Sometimes obsessing about food & overeating is a way of keeping ourselves from thinking about other more messy & troubling things in our lives. I think I read a good discussion of this in a book called Overcoming Overeating.

What you are experiencing is common and can be so frustrating. I found Overeater Anonymous really helpful with getting a handle on my food obsession though I didn't follow the whole program. You can participate face to face or online and it's free. Intuitive Eating threads on 3FC might also be helpful.

Best wishes to you. :)

Originally Posted by terichelle:
I literally feel obsessed. More than I was before I ever started losing weight. The last 9 months I haven't been able to stay on plan for more than a couple of days, and even then I've slipped back into really bad eating habits (for weeks and weeks) every time. I just want to eat everything (bad), all the time. When I'm at work, I think about picking chocolate (not a bar, like box!) up on the way home, in the morning I think about buying cake for a morning break, I can't stop thinking constantly about what I want to eat. And then I do eat it! It's driving me up the wall!

I keep saying I'm going to start fresh today, but I've become so dependent on food lately, that the thought of not having what I want, when I want it seems impossible and intimidating. And when I do manage to stay on plan, it's just a different kind of obsessing, and I'm still thinking about food all day. I'm sure I didn't used to be this bad, I just wish I could stop it. :?: I don't want my every waking thought to revolve around food

I don't even know where to start, you've described something that I felt for a really really long time. Diets don't help, they keep us more focused on food and control. Think about it, food and control food and control, the more you try to control it the more obsessed you become with food. Eating becomes a chore, parties become danger zones, restaurants are landmines, food becomes the enemy and you become a lunatic. That was my progression.

Thank you mars for bringing up intuitive eating. IE focuses on rebuilding your relationship with food and learning how to trust yourself again. It's all about neutralizing your relationship to food. It's not a diet plan, it's more like a personality overhaul. You gotta change your thinking, your self talk, and your beliefs about food.

Some books that will helps - Overfed Head, Overcoming Overeating, Intuitive Eating.

Check this out!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPcy...8O-lDq-z1pS_Lw

I clicked on the link and book marked it. Good stuff! I need dis.


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Also an intuitive eater (but not a typical one, from what i've been reading). Is it possible your plan includes a too much restriction of your food intake or not eating food you love and miss? This can make you feel terrible cravings and obsess with food.

Omg, I could have written this myself, lady. My highest weight was always in the 190's... Now I am up to 205 and I don't know what to do. I gain and lose the same 2 pounds. I don't have the will power or diligence to track what I am eating.

I am also on the road all day from place to place, so if I dont pack a good lunch, it's fast food. Or, sometimes if I am passing it, i get fast food even though I did eat a healthy lunch, just because I want it. I am right there with you. I don't know what to do either!!!

I think that diets should be renamed "dealing with our food addiction" because thats what it feels like sometimes.

The biggest problem I found is that if you give up on all your favourite naughty foods you will want them more, thus bingeing and will end up fatter than you was to begin with.

I used to have a bar of chocolate every night and now have 4 squares of a small dark chocolate bar instead. So instead of 500 calories a day on chocolate its more like 100.

The hubby had issues too with comfort eating and for him hypnosis and sticking to the eat when you're hungry and stop when you are full has had the best success for him. He has been obese since I have met him (always around 20 stone) and now he is just over 16 stone and still has a way to go but he is getting there.

Many, most people nowadays are metabolically 'deranged'. Appetite and hormones completely whacked out. Combination of processed foods, chemicals in environment generally, stress, lack of sleep, not enough sunshine.

And quite often low nutrient food. So your body is often simply doing what it is supposed to. Hey buddy I need nutrients. It doesn't 'care' about calories if it still needs nutrients. I eat nutrient dense, low carbohydrates high fat food and appetite went from constant hunger to non-existent. Lots easier to be in control when your appetite isn't even there. Many people get there by changing their foods. There is a transition period for sure. But then....great things can happen.

I've been an over eater since forever and I'd say I'm fairly food obsessed. It's been indoctrinated into my brain since birth growing up in an Italian family. Our lives literally revolved around food. If you didn't finish your plate it was an insult and everyone always asked if you wanted more. Food was serious business.

It's been a life long struggle to push a plate away when I'm full.

Originally Posted by diamondgeog:
Many, most people nowadays are metabolically 'deranged'. Appetite and hormones completely whacked out. Combination of processed foods, chemicals in environment generally, stress, lack of sleep, not enough sunshine.

And quite often low nutrient food. So your body is often simply doing what it is supposed to. Hey buddy I need nutrients. It doesn't 'care' about calories if it still needs nutrients. I eat nutrient dense, low carbohydrates high fat food and appetite went from constant hunger to non-existent. Lots easier to be in control when your appetite isn't even there. Many people get there by changing their foods. There is a transition period for sure. But then....great things can happen.

I see you have not taken my advice to branch out from your old reading spots and are just continuing to spread pseudoscience. Most people are metabolically damaged and/or their hormones are whacked out? Poor dietary habits have led many people to become insulin resistant and most people are deficient in vitamin D but if you have any evidence to back up the rest of this nonsense I would love to see it.

The nutrient idea is also rediculous. If hunger was being driven by lack of micronutrients we could solve the obesity crisis with multivitamins.

Actual science tells us Fat and protein are more satiating than carbs. Dietary choices have a direct impact on compliance. This is what happened to you. Keto dieting works well but not for the reasons you're suggesting.

Originally Posted by Marina Brasil:
Also an intuitive eater (but not a typical one, from what i've been reading). Is it possible your plan includes a too much restriction of your food intake or not eating food you love and miss? This can make you feel terrible cravings and obsess with food.

I agree that too much restriction can be a recipe for disaster. Try to incorporate foods that you love but a healthier version. If you want dessert, make a sugar-free, gluten-free dessert. If you want pasta, make some with a pasta replacement, like shirataki noodles or black bean noodles. That kind of thing.

I gotta disagree, personally (and respectfully of course!) with the post above me.

First, not really sure what "gluten free" has to do with anything, besides being a fad that is misunderstood by many. Second... For me, a small portion of something rich and "real" does me a lot better than a big portion of something sugar free, low cal, fat free, etc. I think it's okay to treat yourself if you watch it!

Calorie counting has worked best for me historically... A calorie is a calorie. It just matters what will keep,you full and satisfied... The problem for me is willpower!! P

Well, for me I think gluten free is a HUGE piece of my overeating/bingey behavior. I can eat a pint of ice cream here and there with no ill effects on my overall way of eating, but if I have wheat, it just snowballs and all I can think about is more wheat. I only just realized that I really truly have a problem with gluten (after finally going a substantial amount of time gluten free, like 4 months, had a gluten binge and blew up like a balloon, big swollen ankles and such, got crazy sores in my mouth, started bruising like crazy, itching so bad that I was scratching off big swathes of skin, and had all the awful digestive issues I used to battle when I was a wheat-eater. I hadn't had all of those symptoms in the past, and the ones I had not as bad, but I think actually going g free made me more sensitive). I had suspected it for ages, but this was dramatic and clearly related to the wheat.

Anyhow, for about the first 36 hours w/o wheat, I was climbing the walls, but my appetite has totally gone back to the pre-wheat binge level after a couple of days, thank god!

I'm not suggesting, of course, that this is true for anyone else, but if my story sounds familiar... may be worth experimenting.

Have you ever tried weight watchers? I've been through many a diet, all ending in failure for the exact reasons you seem to be describing.. the moment I tell myself I can't have something, I start obsessing over how much I want to eat it, until I eventually do. I've tried Atkins, HCG, south beach, and even tried gluten/carb free (which was actually the shortest for me).

WW has been working for me though, and I think it's because I don't have to cut anything out technically. If I want a slice of cake, I can calculate how many points are in it. I can still eat fast food if I want to, there are a ton of weight watchers friendly deserts out there, and nothing is really off limits. There's also something about counting points instead of counting calories that puts me at ease, and makes it easier for me to go day by day. The diet does gently steer you towards better foods, fruits and veggies net zero points in the PointsPlus program, so for more filling meals you'll want to use more of them. There are a lot of free online resources if you can't/don't want to pay for the program too.

Mainly though, you'll want to figure out what your trigger is. For me it was the thought of not getting to eat some of my go-to favorites for the foreseeable future. Each person is different though. Explore and find what is a fit for you.

Originally Posted by Samklig:
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I am also on the road all day from place to place, so if I dont pack a good lunch, it's fast food. Or, sometimes if I am passing it, i get fast food even though I did eat a healthy lunch, just because I want it. I am right there with you. I don't know what to do either!!!

Seriously this is the story of my life. I will eat good all day but ya know that cheeseburger is calling my name and its only a dollar. plus I wont have to cook then. its a never ending cycle

Originally Posted by chmia14:
I agree that too much restriction can be a recipe for disaster. Try to incorporate foods that you love but a healthier version. If you want dessert, make a sugar-free, gluten-free dessert. If you want pasta, make some with a pasta replacement, like shirataki noodles or black bean noodles. That kind of thing.

Originally Posted by Samklig:
I gotta disagree, personally (and respectfully of course!) with the post above me.

First, not really sure what "gluten free" has to do with anything, besides being a fad that is misunderstood by many. Second... For me, a small portion of something rich and "real" does me a lot better than a big portion of something sugar free, low cal, fat free, etc. I think it's okay to treat yourself if you watch it!

I have to agree with Samklig but in a little different way. If I were to crave something, let's say a chocolate brownie for example. If I try to meet that craving with something low fat, low calorie, gluten free it won't make my craving for a real brownie go away. Instead I might eat 20 of the low fat thingies, then try to eat something completely different to steer me away from my real craving, like a sandwich or something. And then eventually my real craving will come back full force and I'll dive into a bin of brownies and inhale them. If I had just had the freakin brownie that I wanted to begin with I would have avoided all that.

Substitutions never work for me, never have. I've tried that.

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
I have to agree with Samklig but in a little different way. If I were to crave something, let's say a chocolate brownie for example. If I try to meet that craving with something low fat, low calorie, gluten free it won't make my craving for a real brownie go away. Instead I might eat 20 of the low fat thingies, then try to eat something completely different to steer me away from my real craving, like a sandwich or something. And then eventually my real craving will come back full force and I'll dive into a bin of brownies and inhale them. If I had just had the freakin brownie that I wanted to begin with I would have avoided all that.

Substitutions never work for me, never have. I've tried that.

:rofl: i have sooooo done that inhaling cookies thing!

I also have a hard time making substitutions. Sometimes they work, but its rare. Maybe i could substitute a regular brownie for a brownie that has less sugar, but only if it is delicious; if it lacks in flavour compared to the first one, it won't work. I find eating a small amount of what i'm craving usually works.

Something i find very important is to develop the hability to differ wanting to eat from actually being hungry. Many people have a hard time telling if they just want to binge eat/overeat or if what they are feeling is the actual need to eat a certain type of food. In my life i've confused hunger with desire to eat many many times. Food became some sort of entertainment that i would use when bored or after a long day.

I have never been able to figure out my food issues. People will say they eat their emotions, or stress, or when they're bored and so they find ways around those issues that don't involve food and voila! Problem solved!

This is just not the case for me. Sometimes when I'm sad I eat things that are bad for me.....but sometimes I don't eat anything at all. Sometimes I find chips to eat when I'm bored, other times I grab a book. It's not consistent, i can't find a 'reason'. It drives me crazy because if I can't nail down that "thing" how the heck do I even begin to solve this problem I very clearly have with FOOD (because I'm incredibly over weight.... so what is going on with me?)

Maybe food obsession is the thing. I don't really know. But a lot of what you describe are things that I think/feel/do as well. I find myself talk is so very determined, and the reality is completely different.

I guess it really is about the one day at a time thing. And don't beat yourself up over it either! I think that makes it worse.

All of that to say - you're not alone! Good luck to you.

Originally Posted by Bardess:
I have never been able to figure out my food issues. People will say they eat their emotions, or stress, or when they're bored and so they find ways around those issues that don't involve food and voila! Problem solved!

I think I overeat for pleasure and entertainment. It's not politically correct to admit this: the party line is that negative emotions draw people to food and that they don't actually enjoy overeating -- it's just a form of medication to deal with life's hard knocks. I'd rather look my own truth in the eye. I enjoy every single bite when I binge, even if it's 4,000 calories in half an hour.

There's no real solution to this problem, and it isn't even a problem, IMO. Humans are pleasure-seeking animals and food is a primal source of pleasure. I suppose the best way to tame the beast is to find other sources of pleasure, which I do. Beyond that it's simply a choice between food and health/vanity, which I make every day.

F.

Freelancemomma, Do you still binge or overeat once in a while? Or not at all any more? If you do, do you get back on track fairly easily or do you have a hard few days?

I have been experimenting a bit w eating gluten free treats that informally would think of as triggering (trying to figure out if it's "cookie" or "wheat/gluten" that sets me off. So far it is really seeming that wheat is my problem.

Originally Posted by rubidoux:
Freelancemomma, Do you still binge or overeat once in a while? Or not at all any more? If you do, do you get back on track fairly easily or do you have a hard few days?

1. h-e-l-l yeah
2. I get back on track fairly easily because the alternative (never indulging or letting go) is unthinkable to me, so I need to make this work

Originally Posted by freelancemomma:
1. h-e-l-l yeah
2. I get back on track fairly easily because the alternative (never indulging or letting go) is unthinkable to me, so I need to make this work

This is me, too.

i allow myself a huge indulgence day on Fridays and immediately reign it in next day--no excuses. It's not too hard to do because i love the healthy, lower calorie foods just as much as the junk i eat on Fridays and like freelancemomma says, it's unthinkable to fall off the wagon and gain it all back.

Thanks for the answer! I have such a hard time getting back on track, usually it takes me three or four days or longer, though every once in a while I'll manage getting back on the next day. Hopefully I'll continue to learn and get better at this...

Originally Posted by sunarie:
Have you ever tried weight watchers? I've been through many a diet, all ending in failure for the exact reasons you seem to be describing.. the moment I tell myself I can't have something, I start obsessing over how much I want to eat it, until I eventually do. I've tried Atkins, HCG, south beach, and even tried gluten/carb free (which was actually the shortest for me).

WW has been working for me though, and I think it's because I don't have to cut anything out technically. If I want a slice of cake, I can calculate how many points are in it. I can still eat fast food if I want to, there are a ton of weight watchers friendly deserts out there, and nothing is really off limits. There's also something about counting points instead of counting calories that puts me at ease, and makes it easier for me to go day by day. The diet does gently steer you towards better foods, fruits and veggies net zero points in the PointsPlus program, so for more filling meals you'll want to use more of them. There are a lot of free online resources if you can't/don't want to pay for the program too.

Mainly though, you'll want to figure out what your trigger is. For me it was the thought of not getting to eat some of my go-to favorites for the foreseeable future. Each person is different though. Explore and find what is a fit for you.

For me, Weight Watchers was AWFUL, for exactly the reasons it works for you. I would have, say, 10 points left for the day (which is exciting) and I'd think "what can I do with that ten points?" - well, I could have some fruit and a second helping of salmon... but wow, ten points is a lot. If I wanted to, I could even have COOKIES... or CAKE. How deliciously scandalous!

Can you imagine gaining a sugar addiction BECAUSE of a diet, then trying to maintain? I can't. That'd be terrible. It's the reason I walked right out of a Jenny Craig consultation; because I found out the "snacks" are basically chocolate bars. No thank you, not for me.

Mind you, I did lose 40 pounds on Weight Watchers (before I regained it all and then some). So there's that.

I think if you are someone who has a sweet tooth already, or needs a lot of freedom in your diet for other reasons, Weight Watchers is probably a good option. But if you're like me, and your problem is just eating wayyyy too much (not necessarily eating the wrong things)... well, it might still be a good option. Just, don't let it make your eating habits worse!

Originally Posted by faiora:
For me, Weight Watchers was AWFUL, for exactly the reasons it works for you. I would have, say, 10 points left for the day (which is exciting) and I'd think "what can I do with that ten points?" - well, I could have some fruit and a second helping of salmon... but wow, ten points is a lot. If I wanted to, I could even have COOKIES... or CAKE. How deliciously scandalous!

Can you imagine gaining a sugar addiction BECAUSE of a diet, then trying to maintain? I can't. That'd be terrible. It's the reason I walked right out of a Jenny Craig consultation; because I found out the "snacks" are basically chocolate bars. No thank you, not for me.

Mind you, I did lose 40 pounds on Weight Watchers (before I regained it all and then some). So there's that.

I think if you are someone who has a sweet tooth already, or needs a lot of freedom in your diet for other reasons, Weight Watchers is probably a good option. But if you're like me, and your problem is just eating wayyyy too much (not necessarily eating the wrong things)... well, it might still be a good option. Just, don't let it make your eating habits worse!

I could definitely see where that would be a problem for some folks. I think over the years I've learned that finding something that works for you is what ends up being the most important, we're all different after all. I use my extra points for extra servings of my "big" meal.. so I'll usually do two servings for it instead of choosing to have a snack.. but I can easily see how someone would want to use the 10 points for say.. cake. I do believe you're right in that if that's what you're doing, the diet likely isn't going to work long term.