I have a big trip coming up next May... we're starting in Amsterdam then taking a river cruise down into Germany, ending in Frankfurt and then possibly going to London as well. I really want to be able to look back at the pictures and like what I see instead of saying "Nice... to bad I'm so fat" but I just can't get going
Original plan was to run a half marathon before I go. But I'm not eating well and I'm not exercising regularly. My trip and the half was supposed to be my motivation but it's just not doing it. Part of my problem is I remember how hard it was for me... I really had to be concious of what I ate, I rarely allowed myself treats and I worked out for almost an hour a day. I'm just not convinced I want to do that again
I have a back problem and I need to do back excersizes and I can't even convince myself to get off my butt and do that.
I have scoliosis, severe enough that I have a rod. So, back trouble a lot. Yoga is nice and helpfull, but mostly just doing the exercise my doctor gave me. It limits a lot of things, and often my nerve will cause my legs to fail for a brief moment or standing is painful, but... it is what it is. The more in shape I am, the more muscle mass I have and the less fat weight... the better it is. So using that as motivation is a good one. Less pain is always good.
I lose motivation as well. So I weigh myself every day and graph it, that helps.
I bought an outfit I liked 2 sizes down, because I want to wear it and not waste the money on it.
I picture myself in the future a lot. With kids, married, healthy, happy.
I calorie count, so I don't feel I miss out on things. I'll leave room in my food budget on occasion for wine, because I love wine. I'll sometimes eat a small breakfast and light snack so I can eat a small dessert later. I couldn't give up EVERYTHING and do it forever. I can enjoy some things, just not EVERY DAY, and certainly have to "earn" them.
I keep finding myself in situations where I think "If I were thin... this would be better." Like at a party, I'll want to be thin to "fit in." Or Business clothes, always impossible to find at my weight. Or interview... it's unfortunate but true that thin people come off better in an interview. Fat people are often stereotped as "lazy." Which is NOT true, but unfortunately happens.
I want to "Pretty Lady" some of the shopping clerks that were disgusted by my fat.
I always fear running into an old class mate, boyfriend, at my weight. That spurs me on.
I use to hold myself from life events, like skipping a friends wedding because I felt too fat, missing out on pictures, because I felt too fat, skipping out on swimming with friends... I'm tired of that. I need to start living and not feeling uncomfortable.
Perhaps it's too much pressure to start out with? I wouldn't feel very motivated if I was facing a miserable slog either (been there, done that, ended up gaining even more weight).
Why not start out making small changes? You might not lose as much as you'd have hoped by May, but isn't some weight loss better than none? Maybe you won't be ready for the half marathon, but I bet a 5k or 10k is within your grasp. Better than doing nothing, right?
Where I am at the moment, my motivation simply comes from how I feel.
I exercise a lot because it helps me deal with the stresses of my work life and personal life. So, I wake up. Feel like crap. Go for a run. Feel better about life. Around lunch time, start to feel crap again, weight train, feel better.
As for my diet, I love the stuff I eat. It (oats, lots of fish, salad, some honey) also helps calm my anxiety but I like the taste of what I eat, it satisfies me and it does good things for my body.
It's taken a lot of experimentation and trial and error to get to my diet/exercise mix. What I do, will not work for you. Which is why I have come to dislike "branded" or "one-size-fits-all" diets because we each need to find our own mix of what works. But what I do makes me happy and that is what motivates me. So just keep playing around and find what works for you. You find the right balance when you enjoy what you are doing. At most there should be very little sacrifice in what you are doing, otherwise you may push up against sustainability issues.
Be committed for 1 month at a time. Join the challenges here in challenge section here. Record each day in calendar. Make sure each day on your calendar full with exercises. may is so far away. But take each month at a time is not too much. Make goals for each month.
I completely understand where you're coming from. Sometimes I don't understand why I'm not motivated for something I want really badly.
I just heard something today: If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you have to internally feel that you deserve a body that reflects who you are in the inside, not the outside. Source
Instead of focusing on the trip and the pictures, focus on feeling good in having healthy meals and in exercising. Don't beat yourself up if you're not meeting your visualised ideal because what you're doing is great and a huge leap in the right direction.
I'm also at a point where I'm not sure where my motivation is standing but I'm trying to take pressure away from wanting to lose weight in a certain time frame and instead focusing on being the healthiest version of myself.
But, you have to commit! You have to commit and accept that most days, you need to be mindful of what, where, when and why you are eating. And you need to commit to exercise, although to me you do that because it's good for you for other reasons.
What I figured out is this. I have choices.
I choose, to, most days, eat mindfully, and make sure, I'm active.
Yeah, now and then, I veer off the path. But not for long. A wedding, cool, fun! A graduation, fun, a holiday, fun. But, I always keep in mind, while it might not be what I would normally do, I have control over the portions. Once the event is over, back on plan.
Over the course of my journey, I've learned a lot of things. The biggest being, changing my perspective of normal eating.
It was a hard lesson to learn, not so much for my body but for my mind.
The ironic thing is, from fall of 2003 until now, I have failed a lot of times. But some how, I have failed myself into a 60 pound loss, and am maintaining that for the last 3 years.
It's not about perfection, it's about keeping on, and trudging and slogging and learning, and keep on, keeping on!
For me motivation has little to do with success. Mostly because it requires will power and if there a more useless and elusive form of energy than willpower then I'll be darned. Of course you're motivated, we all are, we all worry about our health, our looks, our ease of movement. Motivation is abundant, it's just not a tool of energy.
In my past whenever I tried to lose weight for an event like a wedding, a party, a trip etc, I would end up gaining weight. It was ridiculous. OR I would lose weight and then promptly after the event was over is balloon back up with a few extra lbs. Who needs that??
Eating today for what you want to look like tomorrow leaves out bodies supremely unsatisfied and it's why we lose out will power. Your body doesn't care about tomorrow. Your body wants to feel satisfied today. Your body doesn't care about exercising for some future reason, your body wants to feel good and strong today bit wants to breathe, to move, to stretch as to rest. Focus on today and leave the stress of the future to worry about itself. I guarantee that if you focus on making your body feel good today it will continue to feel good way Ito the future.
I feel your pain, OP. I have my wedding on a beach in November and I feel worried about not being totally happy with my weight. Don't get me wrong, I feel way better than I did at 155+ but by now I've had more than enough time (about 2 years) to transform myself into Jillian Michaels and I'm still mushy.
Here's the deal: I go on a winning streak - exercising at least 5 days a week of high intensity cardio, some weights. Then TOM strikes. I get severe fatigue and then my momentum is thrown off for days. Next thing I know it's been 4-5 days of sitting on the couch after work and then have to find some mojo to get back into warrior mode. I get back on track and then TOM again. Wash, rinse, repeat. So f***ing aggravating!
I definitely get what you're saying. I'm in a similar boat. I look back at my journey and have food journals from the beginning in 2009 till now and I can't imagine how I was so disciplined with how I ate and exercised. I feel like I'm wayy too lazy to ever be like that again and it's fine, but that means I need to find a new way of eating and working out that is workable for me and that I'm willing to commit to.
Re flaking out on reasons for motivation, I'm a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding this weekend and the dresses were ordered 6 months ago when I weighed maybe 20 lbs less than I do now? Tomorrow is our final fitting and although I've had months to get in shape and drop my regained weight, I haven't done so, even with the motivation of not letting one of my best friend's down. I start and then I fall apart immediately it becomes "hard" or "boring." I track everything I eat but I also eat wayyyy too much and I track it and own it, but what's the point, when I'm not doing anything about it.
I think the thing is that this journey is mostly mental. If you're not ready to commit to it, then it's really hard to stick to plan enough to succeed. I know I haven't been ready. Unfortunately, now that I'm ready, it's a little too late and I have to see how things go tomorrow at the fitting.
That said, one thing that helped me in the past that I'm starting again is setting super easy and achievable mini goals and rewards. For example, I can make a meal and workout plan for a week ahead; if I stick 90% to plan, then maybe I get a reward (a song on iTunes or a new nail polish). Or it might be a workout mini goal of just showing up. Or a scale mini goal of 3 lbs or something. Then I play mental games with myself telling myself stuff like "if you do x, you can give up afterwards etc" but then of course doing well and achieving a (mini) goal only makes one hungrier for more success and so on.
I like your mini goals, that might help me. I feel ya OP. I def. Fell ya! Its like I want it soo badly for myself, my son and my future. YET I just had a piece of brownie. I mean WTH is wrong with me. Im going back to college this semester with the younger kids and I just turned 30 last yr turing 31 this ye and Im 230lbs. Im going through it. I NEED to lose weight due to my declining health issues related to my weight, I was never overweight in my life. I have always been normal size with my height. but after I had my son. MY gawd... I never lost the weight after having the baby. I need help. seriously
The better I feel about my health and my body, the happier I am in general, so my main motivation at this point is that increased happiness, realizing that in a few months I'll look in the mirror and be really proud of myself for sticking it out.
I found my motivation again... in several photos from a friend's wedding. I look like a heifer in every single one. No dice... can't do it anymore, it's back on the wagon for me...
Better to get moving than to sulk and feel fat....
Thank you EVERYONE! As mentioned by a few people I think my goals are too big and too far away. I'm a master procrastinator and when it's far away it's easier to put off.
I hate the thought that I have to go back to the start with my running but I've come to realize that I need to. Between the weight I've gained and my bad back... ug It would be impossible to pick up where I wanted to. I also REALLY need to do my back exercises!!! You're right... that's not going to get better, it's already pinching a nerve. I'm only going to be able to avoid surgery if I strengthen my muscles to support my spine.
So ok... I will think up mini goals... maybe lose 10 pounds and run a 5k successfully? I mean good pace, feed good after, little walking success. I haven't weighed myself in a while.. I'll have to do that tomorrow morning.
I'll aim to lose the first 10 by Nov 21 (10 weeks from now) and the next 10 by 12/31 (New years eve baby!!!). Yes, that's starting to get me excited... I can picture that I'll be able to wear something a little sexy that I haven't worn in a while.
I also think I'll lean on you people quite a bit... if you'll let me. I'll try to be on more often.
Toasted Smoke - you absolutely read my mind with your first paragraph.
Why can't I stay motivated???
may is so far away. But take each month at a time is not too much. Make goals for each month.
and when it's far away it's easier to put off.