Guys! I really could use some support. As usual I am so on track and do well for a little bit of time and then I slip... and gain some weight - usually it's just me gaining my weight back, but I've never had a big weight loss... ever. I am just so bummed right now.

I'm not weighing in at 194..... I can't even believe it! I told myself I'd never see the 180's again, and that was back in December.. and BAM. Here I am.

I'm not happy. I am having a hard time in my life currently as it is but now I am just uncomfortable & unhappy, and not sure where to go from here.. I know I have to get back on track, but I also am having a hard time with managing my time personally because of some personal issues going on with my family.

I also just feel so alone & like I have no friends and just no one in general and that's just not what I want to feel like. :|
I really need some motivation/ideas.

Other people will give you hugs. I am more of the pragmatic sort.

If you're lonely than you need to get involved. If that is your picture and you like animals you should go volunteer at a local animal shelter. You have other activities you enjoy? Go on Meet Up and meet people with similar interests. Basically you need to get off your butt and go get involved in stuff.

For your diet I don't know what you have tried in the past but in the end you are either going to be counting calories or following a rules based diet.

Where do you think you're slipping on the eating side? Are you binging? Just eating pre-packaged crap like chips soda and candy?

Well I love animals, yes, and I have a bunch of my own. I actually foster for a local shelter so I currently have foster kitties - so I really am kind of already volunteering for a local animal shelter - and unfortunately do not have as much time to be going to a shelter.

I am not using time as an excuse - I legit work a full time job, and I have 6 of my own kitties and 2 dogs, along with my 2 bunnies and my fulltime boyfriend (heehee) and also the stuff I'm having a really hard time with is that my mom is currently very very sick and I am trying to spend as much time with her as possible right now.

Eating - I am just eating whatever, and not really caring. And ontop of that because of the lack of time I am not cooking like I should be. so I am just eating craaaap.

So sorry to hear about your mother.

I guess the crux of the matter is that, in your own words, you are "not really caring" about what you are eating and probably how much you are eating at the moment.

Some people react to stress by eating more, others by not eating at all and yet others react by resorting to aids such as drugs and alcohol. For you, you need to find a way to relief your stress that will not cause you to get MORE stressed - as how you are feeling now because of your deteriorating eating habits.

I would suggest yoga, listening to music or doing some other form of activity when you are with your mum (and even when you're not with her) to take your mind off food. You've got to start caring for yourself too.

I will tell you what worked for me.
I accepted my inability to control my portions of sugar/carb foods.
For me, a slice of cake is too much, and eating the entire cake is never enough.
So for me, there is no "safe" amount of chips, french fries, veggy bugers, whole wheat pasta , ice cream, friut flavored yogurt etc...
I can not eat these foods because all of them trigger me to overeat.
So I have altered my food choices DRASTICALLY
I eat copious amounts of raw salad, every vegetable I can find in the grocery.
I use Spray olive oil instead of trying to measure a serving of olive oil.
I eat avocados 1/4 at a time instead 2 a day,( which was what I used to do)
I won't eat store bought hummos, it is loaded with unpronounceable ingredients ( salt, sugar hiding behind those chemicals?)
I go to a local Zumba studio 3 times a week and dance my blues away.

I think I would hate life if I tell myself I can't have anything.. meaning if I ban one thing out of my diet I know I'll have a harder time with being successful.

Is there anywhere that I can get some good food ideas? for meals & for snacks?

I just need better ideas that are quick meals, and am not sure where to look. If anyone here can write some stuff down that'd be great,
more specifically I need better breakfast ideas, snack ideas, and definitely quick lunch ideas.

I understand the stress of a sick very sick parent. And yes , I am a hugger so my mom was life flighted after collapsing at home at the tender anger of 64. I live in England and she in Boston USA. I flew home and stayed with her. I'm back in uk now but visiting again in a month. My moms illness and the urgency of it just sent me in the right direction. Instead of hurdling into the first cake or hoho I came across , I went the other way. What I mean is , not binging and eating out of stress. THIS was some thing I COULD control. My mother I could not. So I started watching what I ate at first. No more microwave foods, chocolate or cake. Then when I became more stressed over an uncontrollable situation, I took it out on my sneakers. I plugged my iPod in and walked, EVERYWHERE. Now I too have a full time job (veterinary nurse) and love animals too (5 cats) and a hubby and teenager. But I needed away from it all just for an hour or 2. My walking turned to hiking and then it was suggested by a 3fc friend to try the couch to 5 k app. I'm still in the middle of it. None of this took my stress away but it gave me an outlet to vent it. So I ran. And I run 3 times aweek around my hectic life. And watching the pounds drop really gave me lots of positivity. I hope this helps. I needed a change from feeling overwhelmed, sad, overweight and angry. I'm now getting "me" back and I really do like her. I'm proud of her. You can do this! Baby steps or plunge feet first. It's up to you. But in the end you will feel better, mind and body. I sincerely hope your mom is doing the best she can. It sucks and it's sad but you have to choose who you want to be and how you are going to get it. Second

One thing that helps me (since I have to cook instead of nuke most of my meals) is to take a day and cook (maybe clean the house while you cook). And I am focusing on eating meat and vegetables. If I have any grains or processed food, I really can't eat vegetables, but without them, I actually crave the good food for me. Because of digestive issues, I can't drink/eat much dairy either, and since going cold turkey, 100% honest I do NOT miss the cookies and pasta and chocolate milk and all that stuff I knew wasn't good for me. I've only been doing it for 3 days, and I think if you can get past the 3 day hump and just try it, it might work for you. The only thing I will occasionally miss is sugar and chocolate, so what I do is eat a little bit of fruit as a dessert and dark chocolate with nuts (baked home made). I eat any kind of meat and veggies (no corn, potatoes, peas, or beans). I don't eat grains (because it turns into sugar faster than sugar does and messes up the blood sugar) or dairy (which I don't tolerate very well). I do not calorie count and I eat whenever I am hungry. I just make sure to eat the right foods, and when I do, I don't end up being hungry most of the day.

That's just what has been working for me. After 3 years with various diets and my weight not budging, I got past my lowest point in 3 years already and it's only been half a week.

Cheddahcat - Thank you so much for the hugs, they’re greatly appreciated – of course I didn’t post this seeking attention; or “hugs” I just really want to start to really care more and start to focus a little more on losing weight, of course I am always saying this, but I am so very unhappy with my recent weight gain and how I feel and how I look that I just can’t handle it. Hence why I came on here & have been here before but I always feel like I haven’t made a connection or friend on here and I think it’s obviously something I have to do on my own – but it’s not to have someone to kind of take this journey with, too. It’s kind of ironic that your mom was in boston, because I actually live in Massachusetts and live prob. 25 mins from boston – Boston is actually where my mom is getting her medical treatment for her cancer. She is only 50, and I am 26. I’m sorry to hear about your mother being sick.. is your mother passed on or is she still here? (I’m sorry – I couldn’t quite make that out). I know that when I am really sad I tend to not eat enough, the saddest thing so far that has happened to me is me and my ex boyfriend breaking up, he was my first true love and I was prob. 19 at the time and it was a real serious relationship but now I know better – anyways I ended up losing a lot of weight then. This might just be me putting the blame game on but I just don’t feel like I have a lot of time to plan my meals, and so I find myself hungry and eating bad for me things – ontop of that with my mom’s cancer and lack of appetite I am always getting her YUMMY things to eat because I need her to eat, and of course it’s hard for me to resist the temptations, too. I’m barely home right now – which is adding stress to my relationship because my boyfriend is left to take care of all of our babies, and I know that’s not easy for him. He loves our animals, but they are really my passion, of course.. of course I need to start a little at a time.. taking small steps and then going from there. I just always end up losing my patience. I want so bad to be able to make the right choices, but I just don’t know how to make them with no time on my days here. What is your success? What was your starting weight and your current weight? How much have you lost? I hope you don’t mind me asking.
It's pretty awesome that you are an animal lover, too.

I got fat and unhealthy because I tricked myself into thinking that just because i was a vegan I could eat whatever foods I wanted, as long as they were vegan. I do not hate my life now that I have accepted my inability/my sickness. On the contrary, my life now make more sense. I have an unhealthy reaction to sugar. My body releases an insulin overload and therefore my blood sings out for more more more. If I keep my insulin production calmed down, my insatiable cravings are gone!

So sorry to hear about the bad thing you've been through! Feeling lonely is very close feeling to me personally. But here you can find new friends that have the same problem as you;-) Here you can find lots of support and help. so you are in the right place;-) Watching what you eat is the bst way to lose weight. I do not advise you to use some difficult recipes at the beginning. Just start with simple: chicken/meat/fish/seafood boiled or grilled, fresh veggies and fruits, low fat cheese., yogurts, no junk food, sugar drinks. ride a bicycle, walk more. The beginning is always the hardest, but the result is totally forth it!;-) Good luck hon!

Well to start I am a boston girl to but moved abroad 3 years ago with hubby( British) and teenager. I actually grw up in Salem. Lived my whole life in mass up until this journey. My mom spent 2 weeks on life support at Brigham and womens. ( my second home too) I can actually drive there with my eyes closed, not that I would crazy drivers lol. Thankfully my mom is still with us but still fighting the good fight. I'm 43 and still can't bear to think of my life without her. ( my dad is 2 yrs cancer free too esophageal cancer but that's a whole other can of worms) she didn't come home from the hospital until late June All this started march 27th a date I won't forget easy. After long rehab , a walker, a surgery to look forward to to amputate her leg she is finally in her own home. Still grumpy about it all but alive. I've always been a stress eater , a depressed eater and a happy eater. See the trend? But this time shook me. Mom on the verge of death made me realize ( selfishly?) that I need to do something about how I feel and my health before it's too late. And I don't want a helicopter ride either. I needed health after surrounded by extreme illness. So maybe I have my mom to thank? I started at 244. I've never been so heavy. But after ovarian cancer and forced surgically into menopause at 31 my body changed. I was 31 but inside bodily hormones was a 70 yr old. And you don't see many senior citizens fit thin and healthy. Again I couldn't control cancer. Then bad divorce , no control. But new life with a wonderful man , moved abroad and got comfortable so I gained even more. I started feeling VERY self conscious about my weight. Uk dress differently, talk and eat differently. And they walk everywhere. I started to feel like and become the stereotypical american. So insert mom and I grabbed onto any control I could. Food. It isn't easy and I have more to go. I've lost 35 pounds so far. Now everyone is noticing. And when daily compliments are given, I feel great! It makes me stay "good" with food. My job hours are all over the place. I'm working 11 days straight with on call too. So I plan my food. I use an app called myfitnesspal and log all my food. At first a pain but it keeps me on track with calorie counting. I'm on a low glycemic/ low carb diet. My mom is also a diabetic so I'm familiar with what to eat for that lifestyle. I have good and bad days too. I do weigh daily , some say you shouldn't. But it keeps me accountable. I'm not sending hugs for any negative reason ( you stated that you aren't looking for attention ) I'm only sending them because from what I read you sound like you could use one ( or two) and us boston girls like to stick together hope this helps you. I sometimes can be long winded lol

Savemykisses, I know exactly what you are going through. I didn't realize it at the time but my weight gain began after my mother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer one month after I found out I was pregnant. She was 45 at the time. She lasted for almost 2 years and died when my son was a year old. Being pregnant no one questioned how much I was eating. I, too, was spending all the available time I could with my mother which entailed a lot of driving 3 hours round trip which was exhausting on my preggo body.

When she died I just fell deeper into those bad habits. I isolated myself saying that it was a hassle to get the baby out and about. I also haven't had any large drops in weight. a pound here and there. I know what you are going through. Since I haven't been all that successful myself I thought that at least you might feel better knowing someone completely gets it. *hugs*

As for recipes I started with non sugary cereals for breakfast. ( I pretty much cut out sugar ) maybe with banana in it if I feel like. I weigh it ou though. A normal bowl for me is double or triple the recommended. Yikes! Fruit fruit fruit. Fortunately I like fruit. Lunch is small. Salad with tuna or chicken or fat free Greek yogurt with vanilla extract, small amount of granola and some fruit like banana or berries in. Sometimes a brown roll too cause it helps with feeling full and with running I can't cut out all carb. Dinner baked chicken if time or roasted chicken like the cooked ones in supermarket. Veg or salad and no white potato but sweet potato instead. Frozen fish with sauces like mustard spring onion ( not sure what you have there anymore ) and a snack as a dessert. Mohito iced treats yum! Or an orange or nuts. Sounds boring probably but I keep it simple. Crockpot chili ( Turkey instead of hamburger. I know what you are thinking but it is good) I've tried recipes with too many ingredients and I give up. Simple , plan, small meals packed means no snaking on food you didn't bring. Stress is a killer. So isn't anger and sadness. They get you no where but spiralling down in the wrong direction. It's time to channel it and turn it around. At the end of the day , you have your health, food, a job and most of all your MOM x

My take on this is that you're not ready to lose weight. It is quite ok but don't kid yourself about what is happening.

I am very sorry to hear about your mother. That is a very challenging thing to deal with.