3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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I love this site because I feel like I can actually open up on here and not be constantly judged. I always have "those days" where I am at work or hanging out with friends and I see how great they look and how skinny they are and I feel the need to adjust my clothes so it wont show any rolls. I know I should not compare myself to them, but I have never been self-confident about my weight so I just see them and wonder how it would feel to actually look great in the clothes I want to wear. I know I am new to this whole weight loss thing again so I know I have a long way to go. Every time I try to lose weight, I think I just assume the weight will come off like a Band-Aid. Now I even have some people in my life, who when I tell them I am trying to lose weight and exercise, they kind of laugh or smile at me like "yeah right."
I just want to prove everyone wrong and live the life I have always wanted. Happy and Healthy.
Tomorrow will be the first day of exercise, whether I like it or not. I could really use some motivation! :)

I know how you feel, "wanting it to just fall off" it's why I've restarted many times. What I've come to learn though, every time I give up, I gain, so at this point if it doesn't fall off, at least it won't go up and up and up!

Also, a year will pass regardless of what you do, it's your choice if you're going to lose 50ish pounds (approximately 1 a week) or gain more, or stay the same. So, while that seems so far away, it's going to approach. Think about this being the last summer you're at your weight, and next summer, you're going to be WAY more confident.

To top this off, I have lost and gained and lost and gained. I've done pills, Atkins, bulimia, South Beach, calorie counting, laxatives, tae bo. I've done the bad, the good, the research. I know so much about my own body and what does and doesn't work for me, so when I say I'm losing weight and I get the "once over" from a friend who always has input and acts like my knowledge means nothing, because my fat tells another story, I get so offended. I mean, I know what desperation feels like and I know what confidence feels like. I hate when I tell people I've been running and they give you the "yeah right" look as well. So I imagine how GREAT that will fill when this time next year, I can say "I've been running" and people will BELIEVE me. It will feel even more great when I can tell people it was just through a HEALTHY life style and I no longer hate myself enough to vomit in a shower where no one will hear me. I feel SO GOOD right now for 3.5 weeks of doing this right. Sure, I haven't lost the 30 lbs that so and so pill says I could, but I don't think I can replace how I feel with anything.

That and it's not about them. I feel good when I run, when I eat right, when I wake up. You will too. You can do it! You soon will feel GREAT about exercising. I mean, you won't believe me, but you'll start to look forward to it. BOOM

And there is the motivation I need! lol thank you! I am just ready to show everyone, myself included, that I can finally stick to my goal and just do it and change my life for the better.

YOU GO GIRL!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Sorry patience, but it is rather misguided to assume another poster won't reach her goal because you don't think her breakfast/food choices are ideal. I made it to goal and have maintained for TEN years, and I still like my breakfast chocolate croissants and McDonalds. Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for others. Obviously many posters find that certain foods don't work for them but yes, people can and do meet goal and stay there with less than optimal nutrition choices.

While I agree that weight loss is mainly about diet, exercise is important for health. BUT you can lose weight without it, the same as you can lose weight eating Big Macs and sweets.....as long as your calories in are less than calories burned. There are people who have done it, so that's proof that it can be done. My husband lives on junk food but has never had a weight problem in his life, but he eats very small meals and never finishes everything on his plate. He eats donuts and cakes for breakfast. He can go to McDonalds and get a Big Mac for lunch but he will eat half of it and feed the rest to the dog. LOL I tell him the dog doesn't need that, either!

Having said that, these are not MY recommendations by a long shot. Just facts.

LULU22 I think that the fact that your friends are thin will encourage you to strive for that, too. If you notice, a group of thin, pretty girls will hang around together and they are very competitive. Also, having someone tell you that you will never do something just gives you more determination to do it and show them they are wrong.

You can do this! Choose what works for you. When I don't feel like exercising I tell myself I will walk for 15 minutes. Most times, once I get going I get into it and go for a longer period of time. If not, at least I did 15 min that day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pattience (Post 5033868)

Well i am surprised. But good for you. Nevertheless, three biscuits for breakfasts contains far fewer calories than a chocolate croissant and a big mac so its not just that there's almost no nutrition in a cookie, there are not many calories either. She'll get hungry and then eat too much. That's my prediction.

I still don't believe she will stick with it. I think her chances of not sticking with it are far greater. You would be one of the minority.

Personally, I think you should keep your negative predictions about other posters' possible failures to yourself, as they are hurtful and quite frankly, beyond the pale. This sort of comment just isn't supportive.

OP, take one step at a time. There will be glitches along the way, they are part of the process. Sometimes you will make decisions that will upset you, but be kind and compassionate to yourself. As long as you are patient and not too hard on yourself you'll be able to bounce back again. Take the focus off other people and put it on yourself. My advice is not to share any goals or achievements with anyone. First of all your body is none of their business and second of all, opening up about that just invites comments, advice and criticism. Don't have wild expectations that if you lose weight everyone will respect you. They won't. Human nature does not work like this, losing weight papers to be threatening to other people. They will find a way to put you down at any weight mom not saying this to be pessimistic, I'm saying it because your efforts should be to feel better about yourself internally, and to not wait for external gratification for your achievements. Weight loss, health, and true happiness are self evident. No announcements need to be made about that.

Exercise can be a daunting word. Walk walk walk. Walk to do your errands. Get involved in activities that are fun. Move your body in an enjoyable way. If you don't enjoy your movements you will not stick to them. Knowing this can save you a lot of heartache. A lot of people take up grueling exercise that they hate, then when they give up on it they hate and blame themselves. It's senseless! Just do something you look forward to and it won't feel like exercise. I can't wait to go on my walk in the morning. The fresh air. The other walkers/runners, the sunlight, the slight sweat are all things I crave daily. I can't wait until Saturday mornings for my recurring date with my tennis partner. I wait all week for it. Find the things that you can't wait to go do and you'll stick with it and not even think of it as exercise.

Pattience, as per usual you're way out online criticizing other poster's lifestyle. Focus on yourself and let others be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pattience (Post 5033818)

You can stick to your goal but you do not have to exercise. Do your exercise for your health, not for weight loss because the latter is not really sustainable for most people.

Let me put it like this, a day will come when you don't feel like going out to exercise. You feel a bit blah. or you've got **** happening in your life, and you just can't get it together to go running or whatever. So you don't go. Or you do go by forcing yourself. After a lot of days when you force yourself, you may start to feel sick of forcing yourself to do what you don't feel like doing. So another day comes around and you finally don't go.

this happens around times when you've got some problems brewing of one kind or another.

Another scenario is that you injure yourself and you have to to stop your exercise for quite a long time in order to heal. this happened to me. And i see its happened to someone else here recently as well. It happens.

Anyway so lets say you decide not to go exercise. You feel bad. You start to feel guilty. And this eventually leads to giving up everything.

Most people it seems are not able to transition off regular exercise to just managing calorie intake. And pretty soon everything comes unstuck and you are back where you started. Been there done it quite a few times. I know many others have too.

So exercise is not so great for weightloss. But it is good for health. This means that go ahead do some exercise but focus on your diet and your calorie intake to getting the weight off. And do not feel you have to do a lot of exercise. Make your exercise fun. Make it so that it dones't matter if you don't get around to doing it this week or this month.

Make your weightloss program sustainable for the long haul. Make it easy. This is totally possible.

I have done it this time without much exercise at all. I am currently only about 15 pounds away from goal. I got here by eating healthy nutritious food, not limiting my calories too severely, eating whole foods and avoiding junk food almost alllll of the time.

I've got someone in one of the threads i've been a regular on. She posted having sweet biscuits for breakfast. I didn't say anything. But **** i wanted. She is never going to get the weight off if that's her idea of a good diet.

Someone else is eating bigs macs and french fries and is walking a lot. She might lose some weight but if she wants to get to goal, she will have to change her diet radically from what it currently is, i.e. no vegetables, and just white bread, burgers and so on.

Honestly, there is lots of research now that says exercise is not the ideal way to try to lose weight. Its diet diet diet. It needs to be healthy food. And lots of it. This means it can be quite easy if people are willing to change their habits.

Frankly, I'm getting tired of you dismissing exercise.

This may be true for yourself but for me this is crap. I've kept my weight down to 138 because I have been a runner for over 2 years and have made it a part of my life. Don't discourage other people, I'm one of the last people anyone would suspect would become a runner and someone else can do the same. Prior to exercise I've never been able to keep weight off for more than a year because I would always slip back into old eating habits and didn't move. Sure there are days I don't feel great and I don't go to the gym but that doesn't mean I give up.

You're giving bad advice. Period.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pattience (Post 5033910)

i didn't say it to her. I can't see my comment should be hurtful to anyone else. People are so quick to take offense here, mostly those who appear to have strong self-esteem.

Just one reason it is hurtful is that it creates an environment where people will feel judged instead of supported.

A user will read your comment and think that if they share what they eat, perhaps people like you will be judgmental and criticize and predict their failure, too. Oh, maybe not right to their face, but somewhere else on the board in a gossipy, twelve-year-old, behind-their-back fashion.

Maybe if people seem 'quick to take offense' at your posts it is because some of your posts are offensive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pattience (Post 5033910)

i didn't say it to her. I can't see my comment should be hurtful to anyone else. People are so quick to take offense here, mostly those who appear to have strong self-esteem.

Those of us with strong self-esteem speak out because those with poor self-esteem might just add those disparaging comments to their reasons they feel badly. Maybe they will just log out and give up, who knows?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pattience (Post 5033910)

i didn't say it to her. I can't see my comment should be hurtful to anyone else. People are so quick to take offense here, mostly those who appear to have strong self-esteem.

Saying something negative about anyone paints you Ina bad light it doesn't matter who you are talking about. Show me one person in this world who didn't choose cookies as their breakfast at least once in their lives. Calling attention to someone else's choices is inappropriate and evidence of your own lack of sensitivity. I've really tried to chalk up your callus attitude to cultural differences but I think that's unfair to Australians in general as I know so many people that are lovely and nonjudgmental people.

It's generally a bad sign when someone says "everyone isnsonquick to take offense around here" after saying something offensive. What you should say is "you're right, who am I to judge anyone else?" And leave it at that.

Oh snap! I didn't mean to start a riot or anything lol But thank you everyone for the support. It really helps to wake up in the morning and not feel like I am the only one who is going through all of this. It makes my food decisions and choices throughout the day so much easier because I know I will feel better about myself at the end of the day and I know I will eventually get to share when I meet my goals! Today on the scale I saw 207, which is the smalles number I have seen in a long time. My weight is all over the place though so that may not be a permanent number. Between that and this support, I feel motivated for the day! THANK YOU =)

LuLu: One thing I have found that has helped me more this time is NOT telling everyone I'm on diet (or losing weight, or whatever term you want to use). It seems like such a small thing, but if I keep it to myself I feel less pressure to be perfect, if that makes any sense. As I've gotten older I've cared less and less about what others think of me anyway, so I don't care if people know WHY I make the food choices I make; if they have questions, they can ask and I will answer. But putting it out there like a billboard, "Look at me, I'm on a weight loss journey!!" only creates unnecessary pressure. For example, you decide you CAN fit a donut into your calories one day, and the people who see you eating it also know you are supposed to be dieting; even if they don't say anything, you will probably still feel judged, even though that donut fits nicely into your calories because you walked an extra mile that morning, or whatever.

Sorry this is long and rambling. But I have been where you are many, many times, even with similar stats, so I know exactly how you feel. Stick with it!!!!! You CAN do it!!!!!!

I think a number of us find a certain poster to be exceptionally condescending and believe she talks out of both sides of her mouth. And I can't believe that after being told so many times she comes across badly, that same person hasn't had the sense to start writing a post, stepping away for a minute, then coming back and toning it down before actually entering it.

Anyway, I just read an article in my Sunday paper about the power of positive thinking and weight loss. Two groups of dieters were given the same diet & exercise regiment, but one group was counseled to be more optimistic and positive, and they lost more weight than the other group. Beating yourself up and feeling like a "failure" is generally counterproductive. I think you'll need to stop comparing yourself to really skinny girls and focus on what you have done to make you feel proud.