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-   -   Frustrated Already! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/295810-frustrated-already.html)

Love4me 05-15-2014 11:33 AM

Frustrated Already!
 
Hi everyone!

Today is the first day for me addressing my weight issue and I am already frustrated! Last night when I weighed myself for the first time in a long time I weighed in at 198.5lbs which prompted me to immediately hop on the exercise bike for a bit and quit eating for the night (it was already 9pm). Then this morning I get back on the scale (I am obsessive like this) and my weight has gone up to 199lbs! I know this journey will be frustrating, it always requires a lot of patience and consistency. I need to be able to accept that if I want to lose a significant amount of weight then I must be prepared to be frustrated, irritable, tired, cranky, uncomfortable, lonely, bored, annoyed, anxious, angry, and even sad. I need to feel these feelings because they have been getting in the way of me addressing my need to lose weight and improve my health for awhile now. I am wearing all of these feelings around my waist, on my thighs, under my arms, up my back, over my butt, and under my chin. I have been eating more than I need to eat to be healthy and I have been consuming foods that are detrimental to my health also.

I hope that writing about these feelings will help and also that allowing myself to feel them while embarking on some significant lifestyle changes will also be helpful. I will have to learn new coping skills and change my relationship with food. I am worried that I am not really prepared to do all the work that is involved with this or that my perfectionism will get in the way and I will want to quit when I make a mistake. I know this is going to be hard but I also know it will be worth it.

Thanks for reading.

Defining 05-15-2014 12:08 PM

So, first step: put your scale in a cupboard, and don't take it out for a month. Seriously.

Whether or not you've had your coffee (or peed, for that matter) can change your weight by 1-2lbs. Even exercise can cause you to temporarily gain weight as your body adjusts to the new activity. Cut yourself off from making things about the number now, and you'll probably help reduce quite a bit of that anxiety.

Judge your first few months of progress on how your clothes fit - or girth measurements, if you must quantify it.

And do me a favour - make a list of all the AWESOME emotions you have about this journey. Right now, you're focusing on how hard it's going to be, and all the negative stuff you're going to have to go through. But that's not everything. There are also really positive, lovely, uplifting experiences that you're going to have - and it's important to list those out too! Some examples might be feeling more beautiful and confident, feeling capable and accomplished, feeling proud, excited, ambitious, strong, flexible, full of energy, etc.

You've got this. I know you do. Make sure you have fun, and that you keep loving yourself. :hug:

IanG 05-15-2014 12:21 PM

Rule no. 1. If you are going to weigh daily, always weigh at the same time each day.

I weigh every morning after I p!ss and (hopefully) sh!t. And always before drinking and eating anything. Typically, I am 2lbs heavier before I go to bed compared to when I wake up. So I get a good heads-up on what is coming.

xopeaceandlovexo 05-15-2014 01:45 PM

Welcome to 3FC Love4me, you have come to a great community!

A lot of people here know how you are feeling, including myself. When I came to terms with the fact that I had to lose weight, one reason I was so upset about it is because I wondered "how did I get here?" "How did I let my weight get this out of control?" That was one reason I was beating myself up. That is the thing that frustrated me, I let this happen, slowly over time but I didn't really notice or maybe I had "blinders" on because I didn't want to notice. Anywho the point is you have realized what you need to do to make a change in your life for the better!

Changing your relationship with food is key! And nobody is perfect, so you shouldn't expect perfection from yourself in your weight loss journey. There will be setbacks, there will be more triumphs and making yourself push through the setbacks is what is going to propel you further.

This is a great place to talk about your feelings and find support when you are lacking the motivation to support yourself. Positive self-talk is important through this process (and life ;) ) so allow yourself to be proud of even the smallest victories! Just remember you are not alone in this and YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Hope you have a great first day :kickbutt: and browse the boards if you need a kick in the butt :D

happynottsgirl 05-15-2014 03:36 PM

A late workout results in a higher number on the scale the next morning for me.

Locke 05-15-2014 03:44 PM

You cannot base your weight loss program on disgust and anger at yourself. You have been avoiding your feelings with food, and losing weight through a diet is an instance of the tail wagging the dog. You need to address your emotions while you try to eat the amount of food your body needs. There are many resources out there for improving your ability to cope with emotions. My favorite book so far is one I'm reading now: Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. She teaches you how to sit with your emotions, to acknowledge them and to really feel them in your body. Once you aren't eating emotionally you should find that the weight drops off naturally.

Streudel 05-15-2014 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke (Post 5004576)
You cannot base your weight loss program on disgust and anger at yourself.

Could not agree more!!

Love4me 05-15-2014 09:57 PM

Thank you for all of your positive and supportive responses. I think you guys are so right about needing to take a positive approach to this whole process. I guess I was just getting off on the wrong foot. I am so glad that I joined this forum because I do need these things pointed out to me sometimes. I am going to do my best not to use the scale again for awhile because it just seems to fuel my negative self-talk. I am used to basing part of my self-worth on that number and that is a bit crazy.

I am the one who got myself into this state and I am the one who will get myself out of it. Some positive things I hope to feel while undergoing this transformation include more energetic, stronger, healthier, more upbeat, sexier, more beautiful, proud, confident, satisfied, creative, pretty, courageous, and exhilarated. I want to feel connected to my body and to take the best care of it that I can.

Locke, thank you for the book suggestion! I have placed it on hold with my local library along with a couple of Roth’s audiobooks. I am feeling excited to start this new adventure. I feel ready for change and I need to start with being kinder to myself.

EscapeKitty 05-16-2014 12:24 PM

Beginnings are the hardest (and plateau times, of course) because it feels like losing a friend (food), but there's no weight loss or physical improvement to replace it.

I think you did the absolute best thing by coming here and reaching out to people who understand. I'm in the same place, too (just started yesterday), and feeling a bit blue and crabby.

But from experience, I know it quickly gets better. Most importantly, the self-respect that comes from taking care of ourselves. I love the line from the Biggest Loser theme song: What have you done today to make yourself feel proud?


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