| pixelllate |
05-06-2014 10:35 AM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by berryblondeboys
(Post 4998915)
But what does this idea of perfection do to our mind if we don't get there? Or if we find the struggle too intense? Some of us can get there and do get there and that is fantastic, but should we frown on anyone or ourselves if we get close, but not quite there? When will we say, "I'm not perfect looking, but I'm still great?"
I also think it's different for those who are morbidly obese and for those who have just gained a little weight. The behaviors you have to change are pretty drastically different. If you are carrying an extra 20 pounds only, you don't have to change many of your behaviors, or if you do, not changing them to the same extreme as someone who needs to lose, say 100 pounds.
And more, if you let yoursel get to 100 pounds overweight and lived like that for decades, why all of a sudden do you need to be not overweight at all? Why one extreme to the other? Now... Don't get me wrong, I would love to be at my ideal weight too, but I also know being at 230 is better that at 275. Every improvement is important and every successful lifestyle change should be celebrated - not looked at as, well, I still need to do x, x, x, and x.
I think part of it is our fantasy is believing that everything will be perfect if our weight is perfect. We will be more sexually attractive. We will look sexy. We will feel good about ourselves. We won't get depressed because it's being fat we think that causes depression, etc. We fantasize about the clothes we will wear and that bikini.
Losing weight will not solve our problems. You need to solve your problems outside of weight loss. Sure, you'll be more attractive. But that won't change who you are or get rid of your demons. It won't make you a happy person or ward off depression. And there are no guarantees about feeling good in that bikini either! We probably won't turn into a spur model overrnight.
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Yes, this is why I think that context matters. For those who were never 100 lbs overweight, nor have they had kids or even pets (I fall under this category) - the "extreme" goals might not, for that individual, be all that extreme at all. As far as how we react to that struggle for any goal that we may define as extreme, I think its hard to say what it will do to each of our minds.
I used to try to do the "right" thing - be moderate, assume I'll explode unless I do things at a slow pace, etc...but its never made me feel as an individual any happier. If anything, when I really look into myself, I don't look down on anyone for whatever their goals may be, never have and I like extremism. I'm more chill being extreme than I am following the moderate protocol. Its hard to admit this because then there might be the assumption that I am in denial, or that overtime, I will come to realize differently, but its really been reverse for me.
I've read over and over again about how our struggles for perfection will ultimately cause some sort of urge to explode or binge or some sort of episode. I never had that - if anything, if I can recall, I've felt that restlessness when I was caught up with pleasing others and their ideas of what I should do. When I follow my idea of what I ultimately want, which is to look like a shorter version of a VS model (amongst other things), I don't feel that way. I just don't want to overassume how I'll react to pushing myself to whatever degree of goal - maybe I won't panic as much as much as presumed. |
