I'm going to focus on weight, because that was what you mentioned in your OP. I think in our society we have allowed certain things to define whether we are "worth" of love and acceptance. I think that within our sub-circles (our families, our groups of friends) we then give other qualities significant levels of importance. In other words, I think as a society, we still base a lot of a female's self worth on her appearance, and a male's on his career/income. However, within our smaller social circles, those ideas my be different. A parent may raise her daughter to place her self worth on her education, or we may hang around a group of friends that places high value on the kind of car you drive. So if you have an $$$$ car, you don't lose "social points" for being over weight and are still popular within the group. However another social group may place high priority on weight, and deem those over weight as unworthy, and even display this by bullying over weight peers.


But try to strip away all those details for a minute. Your weight, your education, your financial status, job, hobbies, shoe size, bra size, hair color, social status, life arrangement, the car you drive....Take a look at you. What things do you like about you?

There are no right answers and no limit. Its a diverse as people are. Using myself as an example (which feels a little weird lol)

I like that I am compassionate towards animals, but not an animal lover. I like that because it shows that despite not enthusiastically enjoying being around people's pets, I would never hurt an animal and I would go out of my way to help if doing so meant keeping an animal from harm.

I like that I am always compelled to stand up to bullies. Even if it does not involve me, if I see someone "sneaky bullying*" I feel like I have to protect whoever is being hurt. *Sneaky bullying, not obvious like name calling, but when an someone is passively rude, undermining, dismissive or argumentative for no reason or point other than to hear themselves talk.

I love that I am determined at everything I do, I mean really determined. I have never given up on anything, no matter how many times I fail, I will try again. I'm stubborn like that. I have been struggling with my weight my whole life. I have never given up. I just keep learning, changing my plans, trying new things, and finding what works. I do this with everything in my life.

These are only a few things, but they are what makes me me. They are parts of me that will be with me where ever I go, and these traits shine through in all areas of my life. No matter how much I weigh, or how much $ I have, how beautiful I might be or where I am in life, these traits will be there and I like them. And so as my life changes (or my body) I can continue to like myself. Others may not agree, but the great part is, when you start to like yourself and develop a self esteem, you don't care what others think. And remember, we all like different things and people. What I find admirable someone else may not. So you cannot base yourself worth on validation from others. My dad says the only person you have to answer to at the end of the day is the person in the mirror, and it is so true.

I don't like everything about myself, but I will continue to work on those things. We should all be doing that. Anyone that thinks they don't need any improvement should be avoided! No one is perfect. Admitting your flaws is good too, because if you already know them, you wont ever be faced with someone pointing it out to you one day, and you being blindsided and probably pretty upset when you realize that this or that part of who you are is seriously lacking. Know yourself, like what you like, and work on what you don't.

Now if you add back in weight. I know this feels like it defines you. I still struggle with this. Some days the feeling I had as a teen of being completely worthless because of my body haunts me. I remember the days of "If I was only thin..." thinking everything would fall into place once I lost weight. I can only promise you this isn't true. Losing weight only removed one focus from my list of things, once I lost the weight (before this baby I was at a weight I was happy with) there were still many other things in my life that felt like they were weighing me down (no pun intended) Losing weight helped me feel a little more comfortable in my clothes, it did not change how I felt in my skin. Hope this helps.