Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Thread Tools
Old 01-17-2014, 02:09 PM   #1  
Nutritionally Challenged
Thread Starter
LordieBee's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 19

S/C/G: Ew

Default Why are we fat?

I wanted to ask everyone why we, as individual people, overeat. I've lost weight in the past, but never managed to keep it off. I understand that I need to address the real reasons for my serious overeating problem. I don't have the money for regular professional help, so I get to do a little DIY soul searching and thought it would be interesting to see what other people have to say.

I over eat to avoid my problems. I use it as a means of procrastination, because doing something I enjoy is easier than real life.
I have a high stress job that I'm currently trying to quit.
I eat to avoid dealing with men. I have a brief history of abuse and distrust men in general. I'm always uncomfortable when men give me attention.
Mostly, I don't love myself. I need to learn how and find a sense of self worth. That's just not something I've experienced before.

How have some of you over come your problems? What are you currently doing to change the way you cope with your reasons for over eating?
LordieBee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 02:16 PM   #2  
Senior Member
Locke's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 594


My life changed when I read the book "Brain over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen. Basically it doesn't really matter why you overeat. You overeat because your brain gives you the urges to overeat. Therapists say that you overeat because of X reason (let's say loneliness) and so to cure overeating you just need to cure loneliness. The problem is that everybody's lonely at some time or another, and not everybody binges because of it. If you can ignore those urges to binge (no matter their source) then overeating will never be a problem. I have not overeaten since I read that book, and it's been almost effortless.

I've been overeating for much of my childhood and adult life. When I was a little girl I was sick a lot and wore size slim children's clothing. I was a stick. I think that because of being deprived of calories through illness my body urged me to binge on calorie-rich foods, and those binges became a habit that I still struggle with today as an obese person. The exciting thing is that habits can be changed, it just requires practice. The cure to overeating is to not overeat when your brain tells you to- after a period of time your brain will stop sending you the signals because they no longer work.
Locke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 03:01 PM   #3  
Senior Member
underanalysis's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 442

S/C/G: 155/124.5/135

Height: 5'7"


My family put a premium on my ability to eat as a child. My parents (especially Dad) show they care through food, so saying no to food from them is not just a waste of money, but a rejection of affection. My parents would literally brag to their friends about how much I could eat where I could hear them as a child, which resulted in years of overeating to the point that I was sick after meals as well as overweight.

I dropped a lot of weight as soon as I moved to my first place of my own at age 17, because for the first time I had control over what I ate, when I ate, and how much.
underanalysis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 03:03 PM   #4  
Nutritionally Challenged
Thread Starter
LordieBee's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 19

S/C/G: Ew


I looked the book up on amazon and it has some pretty great reviews, with the exception of some naysayers. I think I'm ordering it. The philosophy behind this book is pretty similar to how I've thought of my binge ED in the past. It would be incredible to not be at war with myself for the rest of my life. Thanks for the suggestion.

You said you were still overweight. How long ago did you read this book?

Last edited by LordieBee; 01-17-2014 at 03:05 PM.
LordieBee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 03:11 PM   #5  
Senior Member
Bellamack's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: upstate NY
Posts: 1,821

S/C/G: 214/211/150

Height: 5'5"


Remember: There are so many things in life that we have absolutely no control over. You do have control over this, so work hard every day to embrace that control.

Good Luck to you, you are on the right path, as you are asking "why"
Bellamack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 03:44 PM   #6  
Starting over sucks.
Radiojane's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,245

S/C/G: 485/445/250

Height: 6'1


I think mine rooted from it being a simple (and affordable) pleasure. I couldn't travel or buy things, but I had a budget for food.

Retraining myself to other pleasures (while not setting myself up for another addiction), is a huge thing for me.
Radiojane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 03:49 PM   #7  
Senior Member
Locke's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 594


Originally Posted by LordieBee View Post
You said you were still overweight. How long ago did you read this book?
I should have clarified that- I only read it last week so I can't say that I'm completely changed for good or anything like that. But for me going a week without binge eating is HUGE, and to not be struggling with the urges to binge eat is equally life changing. Something changed inside me when I read that book, I feel like it's the beginning of a different way of being in the world for me.
Locke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 04:00 PM   #8  
*Shakes fist at regain*
crispin's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: U.S.
Posts: 375

S/C/G: 150ish/ 114 / 109

Height: 5'


I have a big appetite,
love everything about food - shopping for it, cooking it, eating it, trying new restaurants,
my appetite becomes even bigger if I eat too many carbs and too little fat and protein,
I have couch potato tendencies.

Sometimes I eat when I'm not actually hungry. The reasons vary - boredom, it's super tasty, socializing. I don't want to become too rigid. I'm ok with eating when I'm not genuinely hungry. My goal is simply to keep that in check by being mindful of it and not consuming too many extra calories that way. (I'm in maintenance.)

Last edited by crispin; 01-17-2014 at 04:02 PM.
crispin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 04:03 PM   #9  
Senior Member
pixelllate's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,164


Physically it is because I like eating. Emotionally it is because I grew up in a narcissist household with issues including food, so when problems happened in my life, I assumed that I was weak and needed to rely on food to cope. I rarely speak to my family now so since I've been in a better mental health situation, it has been pretty fine.
pixelllate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 04:22 PM   #10  
Posts: n/a


Think about America 50 years ago. Obesity was super rare. Overweight was a lot less than it is now.

Were Americans that different 50 years ago? Were they less emotional, more in control, somehow fundamentally differently in brains and moods? No. So I would argue it isn't mostly emotional for most people. People would be shocked by this but people are actually exercising MORE on average than 50 years ago. That source was from the UK but it would not surprise me for the U.S. or about the same.

So what has changed in the last 50 years ago? The food environment. Dramatically. Way more processed food. And monster processed food. Yogurt that is worse than candy bars. Fruit juices that will send you into a sugar coma. Super sizing. Tons of advertising. Fast food everywhere. Most importantly to me SUPER addictive food. Read Salt, Sugar, Fat by Moss. Shocking what has been done by food companies.

So what to do? Act like it is 50 years ago. Literally don't eat anything you couldn't buy 50 years ago. Cook at home more. I am now using slow cookers more. I get 2 to 3 days of meals. I can prepare it the night before. Just turn it on in the morning and it is there when I get home.

The end of overeating sounds like the concept behind behavior modification. They found it was more effective for shy people, as an example, to do non shy behaviors rather than talking it out as to why they were shy. Eventually the learned to be less shy regardless of any remaining 'root causes'.

For me it was going cold turkey on the worse foods I had daily: bread, pasta, potatoes, fast food, candy, cake etc. After three weeks I was a different person in regards to food, hunger, and the control it had over me.

Last edited by diamondgeog; 01-17-2014 at 04:25 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 04:27 PM   #11  
Senior Member
laciemn's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 245

S/C/G: 171/150/115

Height: 5'4


I definitely think part of it is my somewhat small social circle and the fact that I don't really know a lot of fit and health conscious people. My family were definitely the opposite and it's very encouraging to meet other people who are into taking care of themselves. Besides that, a lack of exercise and overeating due to stress.
laciemn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 04:28 PM   #12  
Just Me
nelie's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 14,707

S/C/G: 364/--/182

Height: 5'6"


We can also go back 50 years where home computers didn't work, people watched tv rarely, kids played outside, more jobs were manual. Depending on your class status, you may have relied more on public transportation. Overall, we were more active as a people until the digital revolution.
nelie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 04:36 PM   #13  
Kate79's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 39

S/C/G: 315/311/240

Height: 5'9"


For me it's:
Depression, anxiety and the binge disorder that resulted from both of them
Fear of working out because I was bullied badly in gym class, starting in kindergarten.

I tried losing weight many times in my life, but it never worked until I began getting those things treated in early 2013.
Kate79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 04:36 PM   #14  
Posts: n/a



I feel thinking about your food habits like it was 50 years ago is a wonderful way to get people successful at weight loss. It has helped me dramatically. If anyone wants to keep eating modern processed food concoctions, no one will stop them.

I should also say there is an argument that wheat has changed dramatically in the last 50 years. Not by the newer techniques of genetic manipulation but by genetic crossing to produce high yield varieties. Wheat Belly makes this argument.

Anyone can do their own research on it. Cutting out wheat has helped me a lot. I feel much better than I ever have in my life. Oh no, people will say that is crazy wheat is just wheat same as always. Again no one stopping anyone from eating wheat. And no I haven't replaced it with other grains. I still do eat a small amount of grains but not wheat for the most part. And yes people can say I am eating healthier overall. This is true. But Wheat Belly argues wheat has changed for the worse in ways other grains haven't. Although the high glycemic indexes of other grains also make them not a good choice.

Movement is very important. But the SAD diet is making people hungry and tired all the time. It has been the defense of food companies the last 50 years. Don't blame us. You aren't moving, you are eating too much. When they know darn well that their products are often a big part of WHY people move less and are hungry all the time. You can't address those two things unless you get off of their highly addictive, lethargic inducing foods. Misdirection. Brilliant, but deadly, to us.

And I shouldn't say you can't move on a highly processed food diet. It just makes it a lot harder. Tying your legs together and then trying to complete a 5K. Not very effective and tends to make people give up.

Last edited by diamondgeog; 01-17-2014 at 04:56 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2014, 05:18 PM   #15  
"I AM..."
sept2012's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 287

S/C/G: 295/285.7/150

Height: 5'9" - Reset 1-24-2014

Default So funny the people places and things that get put in your life when you need them...

For years and years I have struggled not only with my weight, that is a given or I would not be here, but I have also struggled with inflamation, allergies, a cronic sinus infection and on occassion hives and rashes. Once I start talking about this to doctors they will instantly tell me to remove dairy from my diet and to start eating a balanced diet of "Healthy" grains, vegetables and proteins.... I am here to say that it is not dairy. It is wheat for me. I have been in a bar (yes drinking beer - a hefewizen) and broke out in a rash - up both of my arms with my face bright red and burning. I have had a "high" gluten day and had my lips swell up to the size of Angelina's. I have had a "Wheat" bagel first thing in the morning and experienced hives on my face. It has taken me years to realize the culprits. Through talking with others and doing research I have decided to call BS on wheat and gluten for me. I don't have celiac disease... I am not on a paleo diet... I am not doing low carb by choice. I've simply stated for 2014 I am completly elimating wheat and gluten (they do not go hand in hand - you can have products that have gluten but not wheat... did you know Soy Sauce has damn gluten). Its a disgrace the engineered products labeled "Healthy" that we put in our bodies... So I have too have read parts of "Wheat Belly". Its crazy how that book just crossed my path and now I am reading these posts. But crazier is now that I have said it outloud and acknowledged what I had feared to be true - its easier for me to walk away from Wheat or any type of flour product. Before I would struggle with eliminating cakes and cookies and anything gooey and baked. Today after 17 days of no wheat or gluten I feel 100% better than I did on Dec 31st. Its no longer a struggle. I can walk into a bar or resturant anywhere and have good food. I don't feel restricted and know that I made choices, for my insides, (which will thank me later both on my scale and in the inflamation department) I can feel happy about. I have zero guilt ordering a fully stacked burger (less the bun) with a huge salad. On other "diets" I constantly overanalyzed what I ate. Today I just stay away from Wheat and products with gluten and I am good. I got here emotionally and physically because I put myself last. I am sure there is someone out there that would like to psychoanalyze me and say "you got here because A. B. C., but I call BS on that too. I am a grown *** woman. I have choices and I have made the wrong ones regardless of my emotional state at any given time; I had the choice of what to put in my mouth (if I would have listened to my body 10 years ago when I first started having "allergic reations" to wheat probably would not be here today).. and I also had a choice of whether or not I worked out. At points in my life I have been a runner; a hiker and biker so I know what it feels like and I know what I have to do. It was my choice stopping each one of them.
sept2012 is offline   Reply With Quote

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Why are we more motivated when we are doing good?? GotothegymOKAY Weight Loss Support 22 09-18-2012 08:58 PM
Why are we fat? TornadoSiren 40-Somethings 27 05-27-2010 11:45 PM
Why Are You Fat? GirlyGirlSebas 100 lb. Club 107 01-18-2009 12:58 PM
Why Are We Different? Why Are We Beating The Odds? Meg Living Maintenance 45 03-24-2008 04:39 PM

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:58 AM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.