Support and help needed
 

I am going crazy......I decided today, after many years, and I mean many years that I was going to Overeaters Anonymous again. I emailed a nice lady and asked her to be my sponsor...she agreed. I told her I would call my food in daily, I would weigh and measure my food, I would write about what was bothering me and post it online on a website and here I sit. I am absolutely sickened by the thought of this type of control. I want help, because I am 75 pounds overweight and have diabetes but I can't go through with it. I know how to eat...I have had this struggle for40 years and have tried OA 50 times before. I did lose weight at OA once (50 lbs). It was the only time I have ever lost weight,,,that was 30 years ago...Yes, I am in my 60's and still trying to lose weight. I can't explain the horrible feeling I feel knowing that I have to call someone every morning and tell them what I am going to eat....it feels oppressive. I am a sugar junkie...that is it...plain and simple. The only way I can do this is to completely give up sugar and move my body...The diabetes thing has gotten worse and made me feel desperate and I contacted someone at OA...Now I am in a delima (sp). I feel like a loser for taking her time and asking her to sponsor me...This has happened to me many times before when I thought of going back to OA...What is wrong with me????Please give me your advice...Thanks, Patty

Hi Patty :hug: you're taking the first step, admitting you need help, that's a good thing, not a bad thing. Maybe think of it this way, you are helping your sponsor at the same time she is helping you. It has to help her stay on her plan knowing she will be hearing from you. Let her help you start to develop some healthy habits.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm trivializing, but I call this (for me) the epic battle between FatGirl and FitGirl, it's a struggle, but so worth it. I'm 51, have been at this for years, too, and am seeing success.

I went to OA years ago, it can be a great support, and give you some good tools to work with, remember, take it one day at a time, one hour at a time or even one minute at a time if you need to.

Good luck in your quest to get healthy, wishing you the best :sunny:

Patty - I too am in my 60's, so I know about the years of struggle you mention.

Of course you do. That's not the problem.

You don't have to explain it. I know exactly what you're talking about. I've never been a member of OA but I have held MYSELF accountable by counting calories, points, carbs, you name it...and oppressive is an excellent word to describe it.

Moving your body is always a good thing. But I wonder about the idea of completely giving up sugar - I know you're struggling with diabetes but the problem is that once you say "I can NEVER have (insert food here) again," you're setting yourself up for failure, IMO.

Who among us who struggles with food hasn't "felt like a loser?" I think everyone reading this can relate to that statement!

I'm not familiar with the OA program, although I understand it's based on the same 12 step program as AA (or at least I think it is). And it probably has been a literal life-saver for some people. I hope that at its core it really helps you to get to the root of WHY you overeat, because to me that's more important than tracking, reporting, yadayadayada. No doubt part of its success is being able to relate to people with the same struggles as you have - similar to this forum. It never hurts to seek support wherever you can find it.

I think it's important for you to ask yourself WHY you think OA is the answer? You obviously dread the thought of it. And believe me, I GET THAT. I SO GET THAT. But I think it's important that you really try and figure out why you think OA is the best alternative if you have such a negative outlook about it. Perhaps that will give you some better insight as to the best way to proceed.

You're not crazy, Patty. Believe me, you're not.

Hi Patty...I will be 60 in November and I am also a Type II diabetic. I could have written your post word for word. I made it 1.5 days counting calories this week and then had an epic binge yesterday. I have decided I cannot do this anymore. The more I try to restrict calories or eliminate food groups (carbs), the more I binge. All I can say is that you are not alone. I wish I could unlearn everything I have learned since I started dieting in 1997.

Best of luck. My two cents on the sugar addiction.

First I think of it as sugar/carb addiction since the carbs are glucose pretty fast once they hit your body.

I did go 'cold turkey' on fast food, snack food, bread, pasta, and potatoes for 3 weeks. Best decision I ever made. It didn't feel very good for 3-4 days then got manageable. Not saying cold turkey is for everyone. But it seemed to have profound positive influences on how my brain reacts to food.

Since then I have had pizza, fries, chicken wings, queso, even candy bars at Halloween, and a concrete shake. They don't trigger anything in me anymore. It is almost like whatever brain pathway these foods were keeping me constantly hungry and craving for more if I had even small to moderate amounts got broken, or overwritten, or re-written.

About the root cause. Not denying how important that is. But just like drugs, the substances themselves can provide their own addictive qualities without any remaining underlying reason or any reason at all other than they became a habit. Now of course there can be more, but there doesn't have to be more.

I am sure some people do better never reintroducing sugar/carb stuff. And I just have this stuff occasionally. And I am becoming fairly intolerant of wheat now (which is actually awesome by me). But I do have it. I do go to Mexican meals a lot and have most of the things I eat before (no flour tortillas though). So I am one example of not having to stay away forever but having to stay away long enough to regain control.

The transition period is not easy. But it sounds like living with being overweight isn't easy either. Which I know very well.

You are not alone :hug: I will be 60 in November and I could have written your post word for word.

There must be something about that "6" at the beginning of our age...perhaps we've reached a point in our lives where the drama just isn't worth it any more. The last diet I was successful with was in my late 50's - lost about 30 lbs and looked great. I did it purely for health reasons and I felt wonderful, but for whatever reason it didn't stick.

The last few times I've tried dieting (since turning 60), it has been a complete disaster. I know I'll never diet again, and at this time in my life I'm just trying to not gain any more. I've gone back to exercising FOR THE PURE ENJOYMENT OF IT and I'm following mindful eating principles. I don't deny myself anything but I do eat healthy food for the most part. I feel confident I can stop the gaining just by no longer dieting and if I manage to lose any more so much the better - but losing weight is no longer my goal.

Can you go to some OA meetings for a while to just listen and absorb before getting a sponsor and doing the strict tracking? I went to Al-anon for a while and in the beginning I just sat and listened, and tried out a few meetings, and go for a sponsor right away.

Why don't you try doing the accountability thread in this section for a while before committing to something like OA? Just post what you're eating and how you're feeling. Even if you do something like eat a whole 5lb bag of sugar I'm sure there's at least one other person here who has done the same thing. We're here to help. :)

Patty, I hope you've been reading the thread. There are some excellent ideas here - I really like both seagirl and Locke's ideas.

I notice that you made a similar post in March of 2013 (your last post before this one, actually). I hope that you will come back and report on how things are going for you. Your frustration comes across loud and clear in your post.

There are a lot of people here who want to help. I hope you will let them.

I hear you all.....loud and cler/
 

After reading your posts I have finally settled down and realized, this is the same thing I have posted about before. When I think of doing OA I start feeling smothered. I went to OA for years...after I lost a bunch of weight, gained it back and tried to do OA again I said screw it and rolled off the couch and went to college, got my BA...got a job teaching and then in 5 years got my M.ED in education. I would get bored every few years and I would get another endorsement so I wouldn't get bored. I did everything I needed to make money and further my education...but the thing I needed to do, to feel really successful, was lose the weight. At 5 ft 3 and 250 pounds...I wasn't happy and am still not happy. I like the idea of venting to the group my honest feelings...it gives me some hope......in the same way OA did. Thanks for responding to my pleas for help and I will stay in touch....Hugs

Sorry for posting twice. I had posted originally and it disappeared into thin air. I then posted a quick reply. Both of them showed up this morning lol.