Sometimes thinking about things I actually avoid because of my weight gain helps motivate me to lose...here are a few:
1. I find every excuse in the book not to skype with friends. Most of them knew me pre weight gain and have no idea I look like I do. I don't have a Facebook, so, they haven't seen me.
2. erm....I have no Facebook. Aside from the fact that it annoys the piss out of me, I don't have one because I don't want people to see me, particularly in photos, hence...
3. I disallow family from posting pictures of me that others can see.
These are just a few things I find limiting on a daily basis and it's only gotten worse. Most of my friends are long distance so it's becoming harder and harder to find excuses not to "see" them online. ugh. Thoughts? What have you all avoided because of the weight and how does it feel to have those parts of your life back if you've lost the weight?
There are things I don't do because of my weight, I avoid skype with my family. I keep the camera pointed at my kid so that they spend time with him but I always stay out of camera shot. Every month or so I'll pop my head in to let them see me for a few minutes but my mother can be very direct with her criticism so I avoid it as much as I can.
I don't avoid photos or facebook because there are some good shots of me. Not as "good" as I want them to be but I don't want there to be no record of my existence, how would my loved ones feel when I'm gone that they have no pictures to treasure? I scrutinize over the pictures that I allow online and then just let them be. I figure that everyone already knows what I look like, just because I don't want to look at myself doesn't hide anything really.
I don't go shopping as much as I'd like. I hardly ever buy clothes for myself. I don't allow myself to be fashionable when I'm feeling insecure and that could mean months and months of not buying anything new. I hate the feeling of rifling through clothes on a rack that don't fit me.
Regarding facebook, I know a lot of people who are not on facebook. But what I know is that even those people who refuse to get a facebook account are on facebook in one way or another. Other people are posting pictures of them, with them etc. At least by joining facebook, you can gain control of those pictures that others are posting. That's just my opinion. I don't really know anyone who's not on facebook even if they don't have an account - there's a picture trail.
1. I avoid shopping like the plague. I always have. I wear mainly t-shirts and jeans. For anything else, I try like **** to get it online. I only go to shops to buy clothes if I know for sure that they have my size. It gets really embarrassing otherwise.
2. Horse riding. I used to love horse riding when I was young (until I was about 15). One day when I was on a horse, some school kids were passing and said, in their native language, 'there's an elephant on that horse', thinking I didn't understand, and my skinny friend started laughing as well (not out of spite, she just found it funny and thought I wasn't offended). I laughed as well because I didn't want to seem affected, but it really stung, and although I love it, I never sat on a horse again. At this stage, I wouldn't want to put the poor horse through the trauma, but I'm dying to do it again.
Location: Anchorage AK in the summer, Lawrence KS and travel in the winter
Posts: 222
S/C/G: High 285+ 256/ticker/160ish
Height: 5'6"
Airplane travel. I fit fine (now) in the seats but they are still so close together and airplanes so full that I'd need to be 30-40 pounds lighter to have the room I need being slightly claustrophobic. I still go but it's an unpleasant part of travel unless I upgrade to first class.
Pictures. I'm always in back. The head on other's shoulders or I'm the one taking them. It's true that should something happen to me, the photographic evidence of my existence would be scant but that was true even before I got fat. I'll have to think about that one.
1) Swimming with my child. I have always avoided swimming because I hate bathing suits (with the exception of my forced lifeguard training). Once I realized I could go to the beach and not wear one, I started loving the beach.
2) Sledding with my child. I know she'd love it. Despite not really being overweight, it is embarrassing for me to walk up the hill, huff and puff, and to wear snowpants? Ugh.
I avoid roller coasters. I used to love to ride the 1st seat of the Beast at King's Island. But now I'm afraid I won't fit or will be too uncomfortable.
Post full length pics on Facebook.
Skype.
Go to class reunions, which at my school are held every year for all the classes in addition to being held every 10 years for individual classes.
Get together with my childhood, high school, and college friends when I go back home. I just go see my family.
I don't go to the supermarker I used to work at years ago at my first job beacuse I was about 25kg lighter then. Don't want to go back until I have reached close to my goal as a lot of the same people still work there
I avoid flying. I've read stories about people lighter than I am being asked to buy an extra seat or upgrade to first class. I'll fly again when I'm in onederland.
I hid in the bathroom at my sister in law's wedding when it came time for the photo. They spent about ten minutes looking for me. I don't go anywhere that I might run into someone who knew me before I gained weight. I pretend I don't see people I know. A man I used to work with when I was thin, spotted me at the mall and yelled my name (how he recognized me, IDK). I just kept walking in the hopes that he might think that he was mistaken. My daughter was on the HS dance team, at the last home game, they were going to call parents of seniors out to stand with their daughters for a presentation. I just happened to get "sick" so I didn't have to go. That's horrible, I know...
I hid in the bathroom at my sister in law's wedding when it came time for the photo. They spent about ten minutes looking for me. I don't go anywhere that I might run into someone who knew me before I gained weight. I pretend I don't see people I know. A man I used to work with when I was thin, spotted me at the mall and yelled my name (how he recognized me, IDK). I just kept walking in the hopes that he might think that he was mistaken. My daughter was on the HS dance team, at the last home game, they were going to call parents of seniors out to stand with their daughters for a presentation. I just happened to get "sick" so I didn't have to go. That's horrible, I know...
I feel for you, I really do. Obviously we're all here for a reason, to lose weight and/or get healthy. I have been the bigger girl all my life, but I still feel just like you do, because I don't believe I'm meant to be the bigger girl. I don't feel that way inside, so why the **** do I look like it on the outside? I've just been waiting for my body to catch up with how I feel inside, but it hasn't. I know I have to do something about it, but it still sucks that I have to struggle and fight this battle because of something so stupid like weight and fat. I'm honestly surprised that how I feel on the inside hasn't caught up with how I look on the outside. I would probably be a very bitter person. It kind of is catching up though, but I don't want to be that bitter, sad person, so I guess I'm going to start kicking *** and make my body match how I feel inside! I'll literally yell at it if I have to, make it sit in the corner, whatever it takes!
I need to say something here. My heart is breaking. I'm lucky that I have never had health issues that might have pushed me toward a healthier lifestyle sooner than what I did. But even at 250+ pounds, I never avoided doing something I wanted to do because of my weight. You can easily fly. Missing out on a life event like being in a family wedding photo or a child's night to be recognized for something they accomplished is a sad, sad way to deal with things. We are what / who we are. Most of the time, other people accepts us for that - whatever that may be. Those that don't are not worth worrying about.
Everything I ever did involving family and friends from about 1978 until 2 years ago involved doing it at various degrees of "fatness." I know that I'm older than many of you, but PLEASE learn to love yourself for who you are and DO NOT avoid family and friends because of your weight. You miss too much of what is important in life by doing that. It's wonderful that we are all in here trying to improve our health, our lives, our weight. But life is not intended to stop and wait. I have a close family member - we are as close as sisters - who is dying of cancer. She is a year younger than I am. She looks like heck most of the time, but she still does things, especially where her friends and family are concerned, because she feel that it's important to enjoy all the days she has and share them with the people she loves. What if the only memory a loved one has of you is that you never showed up for family functions? That would be sad.
As far as flying and roller coasters - well, you're on your own there until you feel comfortable! LOL. But I flew at 250+ pounds with no trouble, and rode roller coasters and other rides, too. Bottom line - don't sell yourselves short. Live it up and enjoy every minute of this life. It's the only one you have.
Chairs with arms. (Although I do fly several times a year- I feel badly for my seatmates, and spend the entire flight trying to "squeeze" myself into the space of my seat only. On my last flight, the slim woman sitting next to me saw what I was trying to do and very cheerfully raised the arm rest between us and urged me to be comfortable- nice lady.)
I avoid seeing old friends when I travel back east to see my family- I hate that I do that, but I'm 120 pounds heavier than the last time I saw them. I didn't go to my childhood/high school/college best friend's wedding across the country, even though she knows from our phone calls that I've gained "a bit" of weight.
I don't avoid, per se, family events, but I feel awful being the "fat one" in my family. The sad thing is that my baby brother was always the chubby one when we were kids, and I wasn't very kind to him. He's now the skinniest in our family, and he's never once mentioned/made a big deal about my weight. My family ALWAYS offers me the front seat of the car, and I know it's because of my weight even though they don't say it, and it is just so embarrassing. Both of my brothers are married/engaged to really thin (size 0) women, so that makes things worse. I'm the oldest, single, no kids, and fat. I know that they would be sad to hear me say this, but being around my family makes me feel...not great. In the last two years, both of my brothers have gotten engaged, one got married and is now expecting a baby. So there have been a LOT of family gatherings, parties, weddings, etc. I was home last weekend, and at brunch with my parents they mentioned that they feel badly that I basically just cheer for and celebrate my brothers' exciting life events, while my life is pretty stagnant and really small right now. And they're right, that's what I do, and I'm just pretty over it.
There's a lot that I avoid because of weight.
As weird as it seems, I avoid the gym although I pay for a membership and need to go. It can be so embarrassing! There are so many mirrors and all I do is see myself in a million different angles, all sweaty and gross looking.
Otherwise, I'll concur with the posters above that said shopping, being in a bathing suit in public, amusements parks/rides, going out with friends to the bar/club, and airplanes. It's sad!
I avoided updating my picture on fb because I'd gotten fat and frumpy. I used to get a shock in dressing room mirrors when I saw myself. It's pretty hard to ignore your weight when you see if reflected from three different angles, so I thought it better to avoid them when possible.
What do you avoid because of weight?
