"Have you been gaining weight?"
 

Usually around 140-145 I went on a diet which turned ED and lost 25pounds very fast. Then of course I gained it all back.

Now, at least 6 co workers have come up to me and said
"Oh my goodness, have you gained weight?"
"What happened you were so skinny and pretty!"
"Yeahh... your legs, your face is getting bigger"
"You're gaining weight *squishes my arm*

To be honest I've been losing the binge weight, I can feel it. I was starting to feel good about myself until yesterday, yet again I had a ***** come up to me and squeeze my arm and ask me if I was gaining weight and how I used to be so skinny.

I'm so pissed off. I actually broke down crying later. How can you SAY something like that to someone? Do they realize how hurtful it is? Or how it makes me want to relapse back into not eating? It's disgusting and these are CNAS/Nurses who are grown women with kids (and they are average/slim) so they should know damn well what it does.

They're stupid. I've been lifting weights gaining muscle and losing slowly. Just because I'm not in the low 120s anymore. I've had SO many guys holler at me so obviously I still got it.

It just sucks because I hate myself so much, yet the moment I start getting my confidence and self worth back someone has to drag me down. I'm about to snap.

I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that, that's really rotten of them. I don't get how people can be so insensitive.

Either way, forget about them. You're in this for you. People like that don't deserve the time of day.

It sucks i transferred put of that department and yet i still get it when i see them.

Turn it around on them. When they say something like that say "yes, thank you! - I feel so much better now." Like put a positive spin on it you know? Pretend they're giving you a compliment. If they know that you're feeling good about yourself they'll look at you with new eyes.

I know it's hard to feel good about yourself sometimes, but you gotta fake it till you make it. Nobody can love you the way you love yourself, you gotta be good to you! Build that in you and the rest will follow.

That's pretty damn rude, in my opinion. Don't let it break you down- you know how hard you're working, and you notice the progress you're making, and that's all that matters.

When I was pregnant but hadn't announced it yet, I got a lot of comments on my weight - actually those continued throughout the entire pregnancy. Having a ED background, I ended up back in therapy and had to blind weigh until I gave birth so I wouldn't get tripped up by numbers and slip back into dangerous habits while I was trying not to starve my child.

I finally would just look someone straight in the eye and say "wow, that's rude." It's something I still do to this day. Sometimes people need that direct response to understand that they're really being an azz.

This is akin to teaching a baby not to bite people. You immeadiately lightly bite them back so they understand and experience the discomfort.

I flip it and say, "You look like you've put on a few pounds yourself. What have you been eating?"

Just an observational tone. Like it's no big deal. Even if they're the same weight, lost weight.... they will know *exactly* how unsettling it is to have their weight as a topic of discussion.

Me and PorkyPiggin, we're on the same wavelength, and I've never even had a baby. That's exactly what I'd do.

Except for the touching part. I'd pretty aggressively tell that person not to ever, ever put their hands on me, ever. It isn't appropriate at all.

I think they're all petty and jealous now. Because my boss approached me yesterday and said he got a text from a manager saying my boobs were out and everywhere -which they weren't and he knows that- and people have been spreading some nasty ****.

When I switched positions I gave up my scrubs and usually wear leggings, a lace cami and some kind of cardigan or top to cover my shoulders. I always make sure the girls aren't popping out. Yet once I made this wardrobe change suddenly all the managers think i'm promiscuous and horrible.

Wow. That is just ridiculous. I'd say something like, "Please don't comment on my physical appearance," or if they touch me and ask if I"d gained weight, I'd knock on their head and ask if they lost some brain cells. ;)

Seriously, that is just absurd that they would make those comments. Unacceptable. Just remember, you can lose weight and gain weight but they will always be shallow, rude dunces.

oh my gosh some people can be so damn rude!! *huge hugs* My bf's mother who is an alcoholic, when we went over there last time she kept constantly commenting on how much weight I put on and even told me to stop eating so much when we left. Even though she's drunk and wasn't saying that intentionally to hurt me it still did. Words of others can really hurt so I can completely understand why you feel the way that you do. Let your haters be your motivators - sounds corny but true!

Trust me, those are going to be the most loud mouthed ones of all. A new co-worker had gained "post-break up weight." All her scrubs are tight. I asked her personally if she was pregnant. She explained the story (which was essentially no). In the middle of a round, another CNA pointed at her stomach, "Are you pregnant?" I mean how rude! I'm shocked no one has made a comment about me gaining weight again!

Hugs!! I know how upsetting it is, especially at work when you have to see them again.

This happened to me at work recently, I work as a music therapist and one of the support workers came up to me and put her hands on my stomach and say "Oh my god, I didn't know you were pregnant" I moved her hand and said "I'm not" and she put her hand back and said "Don't lie! Look at your stomach" in front of co-workers and clients. I was so mad and mortified! I also have an ED and it caused a mini relapse for me.

People need to learn some manners and not comment on other people's bodies. I even think saying "have you lost weight?" for me it always fuels negative thoughts. I prefer when people say "you're looking really great lately" or something.

I'm so sorry that people can be so nasty to you. The very best thing I have been taught in these kinds of cases is to turn it around right back onto them with a simple statement which stops them cold in their tracks.

Look them straight in the eyes and say: "Why ever would you say a thing like that?" Then as they fumble for words, simply walk away.

Good luck to you.

This is good advice. Say yes,I'm working out a lot and building up muscle.


I am amazed that there are so many people where you work who think it is appropriate to comment on a person'S body size. This never happens in my workplace.

Also at you present weight and height you shouldn't standout as being very overweight at all. That's likely why they jiggle your arms to check. Again that is mind boggling that they think it is OK to put a finger on someone else in the workplace.

Good grief, do you have an HR department??? People spreading nastiness by email are way out of line.

Someone pointed out to me once that leggings are not pants. They're considered undergarments and should be worn under long tops, tunics, short dresses etc. I'm sure you already know this but I didn't until someone saved me from myself thankfully. If you didn't know this rule it might explain the strange looks you're getting.

Yes, I thought of this later. They were all the style where I worked several years ago. I work in education in a position that involves attending meetings between parents and school administrators. It seemed for a while so many female principals and vice principals were wearing leggings with long sweaters and high boots. I always felt uneasy in meetings with parents because that look was not very professional looking. So that may be part of the issue at work. But that does not excuse the nasty comments and pysical contact from co-workers.

This year everyone seems to be wearing leggings under their light summer weight dresses to extend the season for clothes and they look great.

I suppose I meant to write yoga pants instead :P

I would think Wanna's tactful note would apply to yoga pants, too. Unless one is a yoga instructor, or some other physical fitness instructor, those don't seem like a good professional clothing option to me. Cami's can also be very form-fitting, depending on the type. This is in NO way excuses the treatment you've described, AT ALL -- but the clothing choices you described do sound extremely casual for a workplace - even a casual attire environment. (Again, NO excuse for what people have said to you.)

Those people are a**holes.

I had an alcoholic coworker who told me that I would feel better about myself if I lost weight. I immediately replied by saying to him that he would feel better about himself if he quit drinking. He was speechless and just sat there and glared at me. He never said another insulting word to me again.

If things don't improve, and you have communicated to them that this is unacceptable, and things still don't get better, just like pat said, go talk to HR.

I hope things get better for you soon. :hug:

There have often been discussions on 3FC about whether or not yoga pants should be worn outside of the house or gym that erupt to wars, but I think in this case everyone would agree that yoga pants are not work attire. I assume when you said you switched from scrubs that you work in some sort of medical office, a relaxed environment maybe but nevertheless not as relaxed as yoga pants.

I agree with the previous poster who said that nobody has the right to make you feel harassed in any way, no matter what you're wearing! Women don't deserve that kind of scrutiny and nobody's character should be in question by their choice of clothing. I just wanted to point out that if you're wearing leggings with a short top, most people might be surprised because leggings are like pantyhose and should be covered by something.

re:
 

If you're in an office where it is business casual, lace cami and yoga pants are never appropriate, regardless if other people wear them.

I'm sorry if that's harsh, but the things I see being worn in the office these days are ridiculous. (like flip flops)

That being said, those people (except your manager) have no business commenting on your clothes. NO ONE has business commenting on your weight. If it continues, I'd go to HR.

Theres a lady in the activities department that ALWAYS WEARS straight up leggings. No one ever says anything to her. In fact the head of activities was one of the ones *****ing about my attire which makes me wonder because her employee dresses very similar.

And I am in housekeeping (laundry), meaning I am locked in a room by myself except the few times I go out -I literally leave that room maybe 3-5 times during my whole shift- so I find it ridiculous that anyone would complain, not to mention these people that are complaining are ones on a different shift whom are there maybe a couple hours when I start.
My boss said himself that what I wear is ok and appropriate.

However I am getting irritated of this "attention" and am thinking of switching to sweats and a t-shirt to get people off my jock. But at the same time I am stubborn and don't want to switch JUST because ol' bitties have a problem.

Today I am wearing a fitted T and my yogas. I'll post again if theres anything new. If anyone says anything rude you bet i'm going to bite back. Before I'd laugh it off and pretend it didn't bother me but it does and they need to realize how crappy that is.