Inferiority Complex & jogging with taller partner
 

It has become fairly obvious lately that I have an Inferiority Complex. I feel intimidated all the time and never believe in myself. This has come to impact my weight loss efforts in a major way. I sometimes avoid activities out of fear and when I fail to do stellar, I become upset.

My boyfriend wants to help change my goal from weight loss to improved health overall so he's joining me in my efforts despite not being a pound overweight. I appreciate it but including him will be my first challenge - he's not a runner. I've put more into it than him but he's just inherently better. I know it shouldn't matter but it adds to my feelings of inferiority. He says it's just because he has longer legs. I don't know if I buy that...again with the complex bull.

How should we go about jogging together when I'm struggling? I'm not sure what's wrong but I've gotten really bad. I struggle to even make a mile now. I can't tell if it's stress, my slowly fading week-old cold, my calorie intake, etc. but I'm disappointed in myself. While my goal might be 1.65 miles without stopping, that might be simple for him. So do I just keep going until we sync?

Personally, I'd ditch my honey so I could focus on myself for this little bit of time. :)

If that isn't an option then I'd say let him worry about pacing you -- you have enough going on without adding the worry that it is "too easy" for him. He can manage his own workout.

But really, if worrying about running with your sweetie is making it hard and sucking the fun out of it, I'd change that. :)

It is true about longer legs. My husband is 6 inches taller and I have to walk quite a bit faster pace to keep up. I imagine it would be even more dramatic when running. If it's better for you to exercise without him, I would.

If I were you I would stick with jogging solo. Trying to run at his pace, instead of your own is going to wear you out, keeping you from going the distance. I think it's great that he wants to help you in your journey but maybe running together isn't the best way.

It's really sweet that your boyfriend wants to help by jogging with you. I agree with others -- you need to gently explain to him that that's not the best way to help. And then have a rabbit up your sleeve to tell him what *will* help.

As in... "... I need to really work alone on jogging for now; maybe sometime in the future we can try running together. But in the meantime -- how about if we <insert rabbit here> instead? That would be a lot of fun and also a good way to focus on being healthy."

I'm not going to address any part of your post except the running part.

Just keep at it and your endurance will improve. If you keep at it in 90 days you'll look back on today and will be shocked about how far you can run without getting exhausted.

We're all built differently and have different strengths.

Sometimes DH and I hike together, sometimes we go solo. He's better on the hills, I'm better on the flats, it's just the way it is.

Don't give up on what you want to do because you think or even know that you're not as good at it as someone else.

Best to you :sunny:

You could do jog with him around a track. That way you can each go at your own pace while still being together.

F.