Lacking self control!
 

I have been on my "life style change" for about a month or so... I've lost "about" 8 lbs or so, give or take. I'm trying to do the exercising, swimming, walking, all that kind of stuff.

My BIGGEST (but not my only) problem is, I absolutely can not stay away from the sweets. I try hard, and then after avoiding it for so long, I eventually give in.

Like I tell myself "No! Don't eat that cupcake" or "You shouldn't have any ice cream" (None of this is in my home, I go out to get it) and that lasts a day, and then I go get it. Then I'll be satisfied for a few days, and then I'll want it again. How do I stop this terrible behavior?

My other problem is, I'll finish swimming, and then I'll be hungry! Incredibly hungry. And I'll pretty much go home and eat, and then sit down for the rest of the night. That's absolutely terrible! So much for working off all those calories, I'm trying hard to get rid of.

I also need help on motivation. I hate walking. It's the worst. I know it's incredibly good for you, but I hate it. It hurts my back, and it just sucks. I've got about 115 lbs to lose... Yeah, yeah, I know it's a lot, so I shouldn't be whining, but it sucks. But I try and make myself do it anyway, and when I don't, I go swimming, but I pretty much do that everyday anyway. I want to lose an x amount of weight by December, but I'm really lacking on it right now.

I need help! I don't mean to sound incredibly whiny, I'm just at the end, where I want to give up because I want to say, I don't care anymore, but the truth is, I actually do. I'm tired of being the fat girl that everyone looks at and points to. That sucks too.

For me, it has to truly be everything in moderation, or I could never stick to it. If I want ice cream, I'm gonna have some ice cream, but here's the kicker - I'm not eating a giant bowl or a whole pint by myself, I'm eating just a small scoop. It makes a world of difference, because I never feel deprived. If it fits into my calorie goals for the day, I'll eat it. But the best part? Once I'm doing good and feeling healthy, I really don't even want to eat junk food.. I mean sure, the cravings come up, but not like they used to, and when they do, I feel like I'm very happy with how I'm doing/some chips aren't worth slowing that down. My advice is not to restrict yourself so tightly, that way you won't feel the need to throw in the towel, eat whatever, and then start from square one all over again. I've got a sweet tooth too, my weakness is chocolate. And you know what? I eat it almost every day. One small little square of dark chocolate will never ruin everything for me, but it does stop me from binging on a giant candy bar or two because I feel like I haven't had chocolate in forever and if I'm gonna eat it, might as well eat a bunch! I repeat - everything in moderation.

Weirdly enough, swimming is also something that makes me super hungry! I think it makes me burn a lot more calories than whatever else I'm doing, so when I'm going to be swimming, I make sure to eat more calories. Not enough to cancel out my efforts, but enough to make sure my body is properly fueled. That might help!

As far as walking goes... I know I'm far from goal, but the number one piece of advice I ever got in regards to weight loss (yes, even better than the first tip) was that if you don't like it, don't do it. If you force yourself into a fitness routine you dread and abhor, you'll be so miserable that there's no way you'll stick to it. Sure, walking is great, but there are plenty of other things you could do! Exercise can and should be enjoyable! Find something you love to do, and you're guaranteed to stick to it, as it will become more of a hobby than a chore.

Don't look at diet & exercise as something to do because you hate your body, but rather something to do because you love it. Flipping as much as I can to something positive makes all the difference in the world for me. 115lbs is a pretty daunting goal, and anyone would feel intimidated by it, I think. It can feel impossible, but you know what's entirely doable? Losing ten pounds, eleven times. :)

I'm one of those people that doesn't restrict certain foods because then I obsess over them. If I want ice cream, candy, cookies, chocolate, etc, I eat it. I find a way to fit it into my calorie count for the day. I don't think eating sweets is terrible behavior.

Swimming always makes me hungry. Protein fills me up so if I need a snack to hold me over until a meal I'll eat a protein bar, some cheese or a hard boiled egg (or 2). That will usually fill me up enough that I don't feel like I want to eat my sofa cushion.

If you don't like walking don't do it. There are lots of other exercises to choose from. If you hate something you probably won't stick to it. Find something you like.

If you've lost 8 pounds in about a month that's 2lbs a week, that's a good amount per week.

Like the others that responded I don't strictly prohibit foods in any category. I try to eat healthily for the vast majority of my diet but if I want a cookie I eat one, not the entire box like I used to. As for ice cream, I have found that our frozen fruit smoothies are more satisfying and tastes better. If you would like the general recipe I'll be happy to share it.

I used to swim too (no access to a pool now) and it would also make me hungry. We timed our swim right before lunch which is our largest meal and that worked well. If that type of timing is not possible, perhaps change times to morning or like the above poster said, take a protein snack for right after the swim. I like peanut butter on celery, a cup of chicken or tuna salad or boiled eggs.

You might find that walking will be easier as you lose weight. I'd mix up some walking with your swimming. Rome wasn't built in a day, it will take time to undo it. Keep up the good work.

Cathy

If you're hungry after swimming, EAT! By all means, fill up, but do it on veggies and a bit of lean protein. When you get the urge for something bad, make it a rule that you have to eat 1 cup of veggies first. If after that you must have ice cream or whatever, then have it, in a limited portion.

I don't think you are lacking in self control.

I think, like a lot of us, the downfall is, we think it all has to be "ONE WAY"

It's all about learning and exploring and finding out what works for us!:D

What works for me, might back fire for you. On the flip side, your plan might drive me batc**p.

Take a breath, relax! It's a long haul, mistakes will be made, don't whip yourself with limp spaghetti, learn from it!:D:hug::hug:

Thanks so much everyone. <3

I lost about 40 pounds before I started exercising and after I started it slowed down so much. Like I went from losing about ten pounds a month to three or four. Now I wish I had waited another twenty to start. I think exercise is awesome for health but not so great for weight loss.

So, when you go off plan, do you just have the cupcake or whatever and then get back on plan or do you eat like crazy for an hour or a day or more? I cannot have one off plan item w/o an avalanche. I will swear to myself just one cookie or whatever, and then I'll eat the whole box and then run out for more. So I can't do the moderation thing. I do my best to abstain completely. I do fall off the wagon her and there, though, and when it happens, I pull myself out of it as quickly as I can and I congratulate myself for getting back on plan. I find that as long as there are many more on-plan days than not, it all keeps moving in the right direction.

I agree with all the wonderful advice you've received. One thing that I think is important is what I would call: embrace the suck. Sure we all have those times when we just want to give up and not continue this battle but where does that lead us? Right back where we started....or even worse.

There's a quote I saw here that really resonated with me:

Losing weight is hard, working out is hard, being fat is hard. Pick your hard.

With food...especially sugar, we get instant gratification and that's why it's so hard to stick to our plan because that takes time in order for us to see results. There are lots of other reasons why we give up too (e.g. feeling like we aren't losing fast enough, emotional issues, etc.). The key is not motivation. The key is commitment.

The following might not work for you, but this is what I do:
Whenever I want something I try to find something healthy to replace it. If I'm craving sweets, I'll have tea with stevia or frozen grapes. I also make delicious zucchinni/chocolate chip muffins that fit into my caloric plan. If I'm craving pizza, I'll make my own lower calorie version using low cal bagels and putting some pasta sauce on them and some shredded cheese.

There are times when I do fall off plan but I try to get right back on. I have a binge eating problem so it's a monster I need to conquer on a regular basis.

With regards to workouts: swimming also makes me hungry. If you hate to walk, find something else you like because if you hate it, you won't do it. Or, if you know you want to eat after swimming, then plan for it and have something healthy waiting for you at home when you get back. Planning ahead is awesome and if you can recognize what triggers you to fall off plan, then you can make adjustments that will fit into your plan.

I realize this might not be the MOST healthy way to deal with this but I will tell you what I do!

I use lower fat items substituted when I NEED that chocolate or cake or ? For example, Skinny cow items (ice cream, candies etc) are amazing when I have a sugar craving. One packet or container is usually around 100 calories and SO yummy! I also need to have dessert so I have a box of low fat cookies (50 cal each and under 1g fat) I eat one everyday for dessert. Snacks are usually slim fast snack bars (taste like chocolate bars!) or some other bar (there are hundreds of kinds out there close to 100 cal). It feels like eating a full fat snack but it is not too many calories. I will admit to now having a box of VERY yummy chocolates in the cupboard but they are too high for me to reach and I get my hubby to give me ONE when I am in desperate need :D Each, they are only just over 100 cal but I can only ever have one at a sitting.

My second option is for the binging desire. I put veggies on a cookie sheet (green beans, mushrooms, asparagus are my favs) and bake in oven 425 for about 20 min. A small amount of soy sauce for dipping (not much as you put a tiny bit of olive oil and seasoning salt before baking) and voila, something to occupy my binge requirement or movie watching or general boredom on a wet saturday.

I love this post!

Eating sweets keeps the cravings for sugar alive and strong. Losing weight is about making choices, not will power or self control. We either chose to do what support weight loss and health or we chose not to. Cravings last 15 minutes. Chose to wait 20 minutes before having something and you won't desire it. If you want to lose the weight and keep it off, it takes learning a new way of eating, not eating the foods that made us overweight in the first place.

I might be the Debbie Downer here.

I do not consider "sugar" as "food." I consider it a drug, a very potent drug that destroys lives. I guess I have seen the bad side of sugar. One half of my family has been wiped out by sugar and fat related diseases. They too thought that it was okay to use sugar in moderation, but I wonder if you would think it would be okay for someone to shoot up heroin, or snort crack in moderation? Sure it is nice and gives you a rush, but really?

Please try to wean yourself from this man made plague.

I love "embrace the suck", how true is that?

I will say, though, that for me over time the SUCK gets less. It all gets easier, and what felt brutally hard in the beginning (not eating the cupcake!) now feels like a pretty easy decision. Mostly because I don't take that first bite -- if I did, it would be all over. As a binge eater, I don't do moderation well, so I rarely put myself in a position to have to exert the energy it would take to eat "just one" of something bad for me.

I only very RARELY indulge in something I think will be hard to limit, it is just too hard to fight through the cravings that follow. Too tiring and stressful, better for me if I just skip it. It's only a cupcake, after all.

So I agree, there is an element of "gutting it out" at the beginning, but know that while you are hanging on for dear life, it *WILL* get easier, so stick to it!

Embrace the suck..I occasionally say embrace the pain but I like "suck" better.

Good one.

In the early days, I made a list of goals and kept them at hand. Anytime I wanted a cookie/cupcake/candy bar/<insert-sugar-laden-item-here>, I used that list to remind myself of what was most important to me. And even if I didn't have that list handy, I told myself no. I shut it out of my system and didn't even allow myself the option. It was extremely difficult, but I got through it. Rather than "embracing the suck," I learned to embrace the positive. I look at food as fuel and question what it will do to my body. Will it give me the nutrition I need? Or is it just a fleeting moment of yumminess that I'll regret in five minutes? How will this meal/snack make me feel physically and emotionally through the rest of the day, and would I be proud of the same choice a week from now? Are my eating habits making me feel like crap or are they allowing my body to heal from past mistakes?

Both of my parents eventually became type 2 diabetics and passed away from cancer far too young. And when I found out last year that I'd been diabetic myself for well over ten years? Even though my blood sugar had already become stable due to my new habits, there's been irreversible damage to my body and it was quite the wake-up call. All I can do is move forward with what I've learned and hope for the best. And personally speaking, I've learned it helps to remember that the more sugar I eat, the more I crave. It spikes my blood glucose in a nasty way, making me irritable and much more hungry than I would normally be, turning eating into a vicious cycle wanting more and more sugar. When I avoid it, I've found it's much easier to keep up my healthier habits.

Lots of good advice here, so I'll just throw in one thing I haven't seen mentioned yet. I find it so valuable to plan my food the night before. During the day, if I want something I didn't write on my plan, I say "No choice, it's not on the plan. If I still want it later, I can write it on my plan for tomorrow." Sometimes I still want it later and sometimes I don't, but by planning it for tomorrow, I can arrange for that to be one treat and build it into an otherwise healthy day of eating.

As you can see there are lots of approaches. Don't give up -- experiment!

Ok here goes LOL :D for me with things like the processed sweets, chips, sugar laden cereals etc... I had to make it pretty much all or nothing in the beginning. For about the first month it really really REALLY bit the big one. I would crave those type of foods to the point where I would pace from my bedroom to the kitchen over and over opening the cabinets looking at the cookies or chips wanting to eat them. It was almost like detoxing from all the sugar. In fact I remember one night braking down and crying asking myself how I could let food take over my life like it obviously had. :?: What I found really helped was when I felt I needed those type of foods I would get a big glass of water drink it. If I went back to the kitchen I would drink more water and so on. After about a months time I found I didn't get the cravings and didn't go looking for those snacks. In fact what I wanted to take so bed with me was the water that I had become so accustomed to drinking. Now I can be around those foods without any problem, in fact where I work they make fresh baked cookies for the residents everyday... I can smell them, think to myself wow those smell great and just walk on by without giving them another thought.
I know it's not easy, I gave in from time to time and felt horrible if I would binge but I would always forgive myself and just move on, it really did get easier. We are all far from perfect and we all do the best we can, I never dwelled on my not so great food choices and made it my goal to do better the next day. I also found that I had less sugar cravings if I had a good portion on lean meats and protein throughout the day.
Seriously LOVE embrace the suck! That pretty much sums it up!!!

I eat what I want in moderation. Believe it or not, I can actually take one bite of a dessert now and be satisfied, whereas before I would have several dessert servings! It doesn't even take willpower for me anymore. I've just conditioned myself to be that way. The cake will still taste the same whether I have one bite or ten, so I am quite content with my one bite! :)

Today I will eat one whole donut. It's the pumpkin kind and my fave, so I don't get to have them year round. It's a special treat that I will allow myself.

Have you thought of trying a zumba game or Hip Hop Abs dance dvd instead of walking? if you enjoy what you are doing you are more likely to stick with it. I actually love walking out in nature, but hate it in neighborhoods. Would it help you to go to a nice park and have the distraction of nature? Are you walking with music to help keep you going? I know when I first started it was really painful for me but it has become easier.

Also, I had a goal date set for myself and I'm not even close to meeting that. I have learned that I can't put a time limit on my loss. To many factors complicate how fast/slow the weight comes off, so event though I want it all off by October, it is not feasible. It took us a long time to get here, and it will take us a while to get where we want to be!

Good for you for getting out there and getting in that exercise! Just remember that the biggest contributor to your loss will be your eating habits. You can't out exercise bad eating is what they say. I have learned from experience that this is true! I had a habit of drinking my calories. Now I drink mainly water and it has helped so much.

Keep it up and this forum is great for support!

To some degree I can "embrace the suck," but for most of my unsuccessful weight loss life, I embraced the suck wholeheartedly and intensely until I couldn't stand the suck any more.

For me, my life and weight loss success dramatically changed for the better when I refused to embrace the suck and decided that if I wasn't enjoying my choices 95% of the time, I was doing something very wrong. The philosophy has worked for every aspect of my life. Anything that sucks more than it contributes to joy has to go (or be done only when absolutely necessary).

I HATE walking or sweating with no purpose. I can think of nothing that sucks more (at the moment). Give it a purpose, make it a game, or provide a distraction and it becomes enjoyable not just tolerable. And it works for everything, not just exercise.

It has to be a game I can win at least 1/3 the time though or I become hopeless and discouraged (which is why I changed my scale goal to "not gaining" so I can weigh daily or even hourly without disappointment. Losing is an extra special, grand prize bonus win).

Listening to irish punk music on the treadmill, walking dogs for the humane society (I want a dog, but it's not practical right now), wearing a pedometer and trying to beat yesterday's step count, counting swimming laps with a little plastic cylinder stitch counter on a cord.... they turn unbearable suckage into fun.

Channeling my foodie passions into healthier avenues turns the suckage into fun.

I also focus on the "suckage" of unhealthy pleasures. Sugar and wheat taste amazing, but the after-effects are miserable - for me, not just extra fat, but also skin swelling, itching, breakouts, lethargy, ibs, queasiness...

Eating for weight loss doesn't have to suck either. Even when it does, you can pull fun into the suck. It can be like the fun and excitement of a foreign vacation adventure, even when the experience is exotically unpleasant, you earn bragging rites and entertaining memories.

I love shopping ethnic markets for low-calorie exotic food options. Even when my finds turn out to be horrible, it's almost like taking a mini vacation to exotic lands (and I can often visit Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Japan, the Phillipines, and many provinces of China in a single 30 minute trip to a small Asian market).

Even the suck can be tremendous fun. Dragonfruit was a major disappointment. I paid $7 for juicy, beautiful, but flavorless sugar water. Brightly colored skin, fuchsia and green. The flesh white with a speckling of tiny kiwi-like seeds. Juicy, firm and utterly flavorless except for sweetness. Solid, sugar water at best.

$7 for a soft ball sized piece of fruit. For $7, it should have been the best damned fruit I'd ever tasted, or at least the worst (that at least, would have made a better story to tell).

Oh well, I TURNED it into a funny story to tell. In the scheme of things, the anticipation and the funny story were worth $7.

I'm finding that diet lower in sugar and starch has completely opened up my entire sense of taste. It's almost as if sugar numbed and suppressed my taste buds.

I bought some white peaches recently (which tasted good, but a bit bland when I was eating high carb) and eating them was an OMG, nearly orgasmic experience. Juicy, sweet, almost floral flavors assaulted my senses. It as almost full-body, toe-curling experience...

... from a peach.


I know if I go back to high-carb eating, I would once again lose the ability to detect and appreciate the wide range and subtle nuances of flavor that made those peaches so decadently delicious.

Nothing sucky about that.

kaplods,

What you are describing is embracing the suck. At least that's how I see it. Making the best of a bad situation, finding beauty, joy and mirth in pain.

FWIW, I adore peaches. The one of the best forms of sugar on the planet. Even the green apples from our tree (that our dog tried to harvest, so I washed it and we shared the other day) taste sweet/tart.

Cathy

:cool:
Dealing with my fibromyalgia and autoimmune disease is embracing the suck/pain, but with weight loss and healthy eating, 99% of the time, there simply is no suck/pain to embrace.

I'm not making the best of a bad situation, I'm choosing only the best of the best for myself, now. I call it my "healthy hedonism" philosophy. Pampering myself to health has been far more successful than "embracing the suck."

Making the best of a bad situation and finding joy in the face of pain isn't the same as choosing to avoid or bypass the pain element almost entirely.

Health can be achieved without almost any suck at all. I've worked at making healthy choices so fun and pain-free that the alternative is no longer appealing. Give up on pampering myself and indulging myself in ways that are more awesome than i ever did when I was "off" a diet? Why on Earth would I want to do that?

I think getting rid of the suck almost entirely is acheivable and preferable to embracing the suck 98% of the time. So yeah embrace the suck 2% of the time, but 98% of the time, choose something with no suck at all.