I do enjoy the attention, it feels good to be desired. I've been asked out by guys you have been as young as 22 and as old as 69! I just feel like I don't recognize myself or what I see when I look in the mirror, and I don't know who I can trust and who just wants to hook up. Seven months ago I got out of a 4 year relationship, so it has been fun getting out into the dating scene again, but it has also been a confusing, weird time for me.

And porky, I would totally take you up on that! We pretty much have the same stats and goal weights. Why is that last 5-10 lbs so hard to loose?!

And thank you so much to everyone, you have really made me feel better and I'm trying to look at this experience in a more positive light. I think my fear is that if I gain the weight back, I will go back to being a nobody...an invisible person that no one is attracted to. So it has become a struggle to control weight and a sense of panic and depression kicks in whenever I see the scale go up.