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-   -   Gym Confrontations & Bullies (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/286538-gym-confrontations-bullies.html)

Mrs Snark 08-21-2013 11:01 AM

Glad you went! There will be all kinds of roadblocks in life, big ones, little ones, ones of our own making even! Get used to punching through them, you'll never be sorry you did!

Well done you!

LordieBee 08-22-2013 09:29 AM

Thanks everyone for your support & advice! This morning was my second time going to work out since posting this. Again, she wasn't there, but I don't think I care anymore. My desire to succeed is stronger than my feelings towards her.

SouthernBell02 08-22-2013 09:34 AM

I agree with everyone here. Pretend you don't remember her. Then if she is still a "bully" report her. Hopefully though she will have grown up some since high school and maybe she is a better person now. Don't let her win though! You can do this! Good luck!

Vortex_VVV 08-22-2013 10:11 AM

Glad you went back, Lordie.

As a college teacher who has spent a lot of years observing teens who are getting progressively less mature, I would just like to second what Amy Remixed said. Bullies tend to be people with psychological problems of various sorts. Though it doesn't always work, when I've had to give advice to students who are in similar situations (happens more often than you would think), I've suggested that the student who feels victimized try to cultivate an attitude of pity toward the bully.

For a few students, they reported this was helpful. One even tried to befriend the former bully, who was totally flummoxed, didn't know what to say, and eventually apologized for former behavior (though she did not take up the invitation to lunch). There is power, I think, in recognizing that we can choose to ignore hate and negativity. (Well, you know, as long as we're not talking about physical abuse.)

AmyAmy 08-24-2013 01:17 AM

I once had a similar issue. This girl who bullied me in high school ended up working at the same place I did several years later. I decided I was just going to be nice and not say anything about her to anyone who worked there. If she decided she was going to bully me in anywaym, then I would go to the manager to complain. She ended up being nice back and we actually got along quite well.

I would do the same. Act like she's just some aquaintence. If she says hi, just say high back and be friendly. If she decides to tease you, then complain to her boss.

Palestrina 08-24-2013 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordieBee (Post 4821390)
:?:
I've lurked on here for a couple of years and just never signed up to post. I just started my weight loss journey and immediately hit a wall. What better place to ask for advice? I have no real life persons that might relate to my situation is all. I didn't even think about this being my official first post.


Thanks for not making me feel so alone in this. Although it's been a couple of years since I've even seen her, that kind of thing sticks with you for a long time. I actually went to work out after posting this. Luckily, she wasn't there for me to deal with just yet. I'm glad I went.

First, don't feel like you need to explain your first post, I'm sorry you were made to feel unwelcome.

As the first poster said, this is your turf. You're the one who's paying to be there, you have the upper hand. I would love to see her try to bully you now. Only now you're not in school anymore, she has no allies. One word from you and she's out of a job.

Bullies are such a problem in our country. We are adults now and shouldn't be scared anymore. Posts like these though make me terrified for my son's future. I plan to do everything I can to build his confidence so that he doesn't have to face bullies alone.


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