I hope you figure things out....it's not a smooth journey, but it's so worthwhile. I think the first thing that you should do is count calories. It doesn't have to be forever (which is what I do, but I know it's not for everyone)....but at least for a week. Don't change your habits at all. Just count and use a food scale, since those are the most accurate. Once you figure out how many calories you're consuming, you can find ways to cut down or add exercise. A lot of people really underestimate how much they eat. I'm not saying you are, but I recently saw this on a British documentary. Two best friends, one underweight, one over weight. They were both baffled and they both believed that the overweight one ate much less than the underweight one but when researchers followed them around, they discovered that she was actually eating a lot more on her own. Those little nibbles added up. They also tested her metabolism and found that it was normal, not slow as she has suspected. So it's good to really count and see how much you're having.
Motivation is fleeting, I find. Sometimes I have it and sometimes I don't....commitment is essential because that will lead to consistency and that is the key. I do have days when I slip but I try to just jump back on that wagon asap.
I look forward to seeing more posts from you!