Sending hugs to you. I care about you. We care about you. Others care about you. You should, and do, care about yourself too. You're making a great step in writing it all out and considering serious action with your weight and health.
And just a small bit of advice. I forget the exact quote, but my version of it is this: "Weight loss is done in the kitchen, fitness is done in your sneakers." Right now weight loss is probably a bigger priority than fitness, so don't worry too much about exercise yet. Focus on your food first. Try making SMALL changes to your everyday diet - nothing drastic, only things that seem maybe slightly difficult but still pretty manageable - and they'll add up. One by one you can replace bad habits with good ones. Trust me, it'll seem slow at first, but it's steps in the right direction. That's all you need.
I wish you the best and hope to see you writing again here soon.
Last edited by Chronostasis; 06-06-2013 at 10:13 PM.
Well Ms Shannon1923, I hope you've been checking in....you've touched a lot of hearts. And you have received a lot of good advice, More importantly, you've started making friends! I do hope you're checking in!
I'm gonna offer some concrete advice. If you like the advice, take it, it's free. If you don't like the advice, just ignore it, and I'll never know.
You say you typically order take out. And you posted on this forum, so you have access to a computer. Plan out a different set of meals. Search for restaurant delivery in your town, and order something you haven't had in a while, something a little more healthy than your current fare.....I don't know....Chinese, Thai, yummy salad, Subway (hey, worked for Jared!), just order something that's different for you. Do this for a few days. Try some new cuisine and convince yourself you're traveling. Try to start replacing that self-deprecating talk in your head with one of an adventurous world traveler.....or whatever......and post again to let us know how you're enjoying your trip.
Sorry, I don't mean to be presumptuous about your life, but you sound so down...like you're in a well and looking for how to climb out. Many of us have been there....needing a rope to help climb out....And a reason.....Well....you have your children....your husband.....and now....Us.
Keep us posted. (We have a good grasp on that rope, by the way...)
I am so sorry for your loss. You have survived the worst storm any human can weather. And you're alive and you have 2 kids and a husband. You're here for a reason and you deserve to be here. I can't imagine what you go through but I know that you need more and that your kids need more and that you are more than capable of getting healthy.
Friends are not so easy to come by, are they? I would strongly suggest seeing a therapist. I was in therapy for a while and I can safely say that she was my only friend at the time. I'm not ashamed of that. I know that it will benefit you so much!
About your kids now, I can relate to them as someone who lost a sibling and was left to watch each of my parents descend into a deep depression. It's been 15yrs since our loss and my parents do live their lives now, they find happiness in their daily lives and live with their grief but also live to be happy. It's certainly not easy. I can tell you that I NEED them to be OK. I have a true need for them not to be depressed and unhealthy. As their child I wouldn't be ok if they weren't ok. So think of it that way, be what your kids need from you. Do your kids need that much fast food? Do your kids need to worry about you as much as they do now? No, it will cripple them. I'm not saying it's easy, but you CAN do it. And we're all here for support!
As far fitness - aqua aerobics is especially gentle on joints. Is it possible to get to a pool with a class?
Last edited by Palestrina; 06-07-2013 at 07:30 AM.
Oh Shannon honey we are all here for you. I too thought about myself the way you do. Then I stopped caring about what others thought (strangers anyway). I thought I was fat and ugly. I have been trying to lose weight for years. When I was in my teens I was still heavy but active. Apparently your muscles remember. Its been about 15 years since I was active. I just started walking about 2 wks ago. I use a site called runkeeper to track my walks on my smartphone. There are many others out there. I set a goal of 10km total and I reached it yesterday. I added up all my walks for me. Told me how fast I was going and how many cal burned. I like it. Next week I'm adding 30 sec of jogging every 5 min. I'm scared. I did treat myself to new sneakers although I had kust bought a pair. I went to a running store and was very self consious going in. What fat chick runs I thought. Was very surpise at the support. The girl spent an hour with me and watched me walk and looked at my feet. The shoes were a bit pricy about 180 however they made SUCH a difference. Yes I was sore and tired after my walk but only for about 1 HR. In my old new shoes my feet were sore for the rest of the day and legs for 2 days. Proper shoes are a must and is worth the extra effort. Good luck in your efforts. If you would like I'd be your buddy. I have 135 lbs to lose and I write about it in the thread called my journey to lose half a person.
I completely relate to you. Reading your post, I could see so much of myself. I turn 43 this month and about 3 years ago I was 348 pounds. I was normal weight when I was younger, too. Although I never had children. Had lots of health issues. My husband works a lot too, but is very supportive. I had quit taking care of myself, too. I can't say I ever really hated myself, but I did get very depressed. I just hated being so overweight! When we are that heavy, it affects every aspect of our lives. Everything is so much harder. I know exactly how you're feeling. You need to stop with the self hatred right now. Hate being overweight, but do not hate yourself. You're worthy of being healthy and happy!!
The main thing for me was to completely change my eating habits. I completely cut out junk food and tried to eat mostly whole, unprocessed foods. But, you need to find what will work for you...something you can stick with for the rest of your life.
You can do this!!! This group is very supportive and will be here for you.
I see there have been a lot of posts to you already, but I actually cried when I read your post. I can really tell your heart is breaking.
This is your chance for your "AH HA!!"
I have five children....I could never begin to imagine what a loss like that would do to me. I really feel like that loss is the issue here.
On the other hand....you still have your other kiddos and a wonderful husband who need you!!!
Start slow. Don't worry about the rest of the world...most of them deal with the same insecurities that you do.
You are loved, you are a beautiful person who wants and needs to get on the right track.
Start simple.. just start by watching the diet. LOTS AND LOTS of water. One thing I always recommend is Cranwater... it's 1 oz of unsweetened, organic, NOT FROM CONCENTRATE cranberry juice to 7 oz of water. Just make a gallon of this and sip on it all day. Cranberry juice is a strong diuretic and helps clear the lymphatic system of nasty stubborn toxins that clog us up and make us bloated and retain water. This will make you pee like crazy...but initally this is a good thing. I drink 32 oz of cran water daily and rarely have water retention.
SPINACH!! ( if you like it) This is an awesome superfood!! I put it in everything I can...it's filling and it has a bunch of good stuff in it. There are not very many leafy greens that compare to this one nutritionally! If you go green- go spinach!!
LOVE YOURSELF EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!! This will be a slow process, but you can do this. The more you DO the less depressed I think you will be.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, but I know you have come to the right spot. I have absolutely not a friend in this world- and that's no joke. I honestly have no friends. My husband is my rock. Cling to your family- they will be soooo proud of you. Bring yourself back to life!!!! Find some feel good music that pushes for a better you! Put on your make up! Do your nails! You will feel so good! You are not lazy, your just broken hearted. Rise up from the ashes and take charge! This is YOUR life. Just take a moment and feel your pulse. Feel your heart beating, listen to your lungs take in air. Your body is aching for life. Your soul is hungry for more, and you are the only one who is going to give it.
Your not alone, and you are worthy of change!
Hi Shannon!! First let me send you a cyber hug as I know it can be hard to come on here and seek friends, and help and to tell your story. You shared a lot of deep, emotional wounds.
Secondly, I think you should talk with your neighbor, and let her know that you do want to walk, but need to do it at your pace, and a little at a time. Although, if you happen to have a gym with a swimming pool near by, or a community pool that offers some form of water aerobics, you should really consider that! It's gentle on the joints.
Third, believe in yourself. Sounds like you have a good husband who loves you, and wants you to be happy. So please, believe in yourself because you know what?? You can do it!
Hi Shannon! Lots of hugs to you. The future is bright for you because you're already taking steps in the right direction. Over this past weekend, I read an article in the June 10th, 2013 edition of "First For Women" magazine. On pages 30-35 there is an article about the results of eating super-foods. I am not a nutritionist nor a healthcare provider, but the weight reduction results seem amazing to me...including those from two women who were once about 350-lbs each. Hang in there girl...and continue with your journey a step at a time.
~ Cammie
*Big hugs* I understand the depression a lot. I was in bad shape mentally for quite a while. I eventually started seeing a registered Physiologist and she recommended talking to my doctor about taking anti depressants. I'm not a fan on taking pills but I have to admit the combination of the pills and having someone neutral to talk to to help me through things has made a huge difference in my life. It's been about 8 months since I started that journey and I am now able to work on my weight loss. I feel much better about myself and if it was not for that, honestly, I don't think I would have been able to even think about taking on the challenge of my weight. I wish you luck! This site will really help get that social aspect back into your life from what I have seen
I care about you. We care about you. Others care about you. You should, and do, care about yourself too. You're making a great step in writing it all out and considering serious action with your weight and health.
