if I get too angry or outraged over anything it becomes extremely difficult to directly deal with it since I can't control my crying.
I'm exactly the same way! Even at age 56 I haven't found a way to reliably control these "tears of outrage." It's a definite liability in the workplace and probably one of the reasons I'm much more successful as a freelancer than an employee.
One part of me wants to pity that stupid Target guy. I mean, how bad must he feel about himself to seek out a stranger, someone who he probably presumed was weak, and belittle her to make himself feel better??? I mean, really, that says a whole heck of a lot more about HIM then it could ever say about the person he's talking to. AND, little does he know what strength you have! He picked the wrong lady for sure...
But, that's a small part of me. The rest of me just says -
F*ck that guy
Seriously.
Last edited by KindaSortaAthlete; 05-20-2013 at 04:22 PM.
Plus, and I hope I'm not stirring something up here... But re: your friend telling you that maybe you should take that as CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM???
I'm assuming that we (posting here) are mostly strangers to you, yet we're OUTRAGED by how you were treated. It doesn't seem right that a real life friend of yours would see that situation in any other way!
Don't let anyone, even a friend, try to imply that you're not worthy of being treated with respect - by friends, family, or strangers!
Plus, and I hope I'm not stirring something up here... But re: your friend telling you that maybe you should take that as CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM???
I'm assuming that we (posting here) are mostly strangers to you, yet we're OUTRAGED by how you were treated. It doesn't seem right that a real life friend of yours would see that situation in any other way!
Don't let anyone, even a friend, try to imply that you're not worthy of being treated with respect - by friends, family, or strangers!
Oh I totally agree! I think he was trying to tell me to let it go and take as that, but yeah I def don't agree with it. I actually regretted telling him as soon as I got that response from him.
It's funny because I went to college with this guy and at one point he liked both of my roommates. One of them is really thin, can eat anything in the world and not gain an ounce, the other is a smidgen on the chubby side, but not fat by any means and she works out every single day.
I remember one day we were all at a bar and he was talking about them with his friends and I'm there too, he says he wants to ask out my "thin roommate" because she takes care of herself (in reality I don't feel like she does at all!) and my other roommate is chubby, but she is the one actively trying to make herself stronger. I couldn't even imagine what they thought of me when they're talking about my roommates like that!
He has never mentioned anything about my weight, but at least I know now who to tell these things to. Sigh. I have too many people like this around me.
OMG I am sorry I didn't see this early. THIS IS BULLSH*T! You are not being overly sensitive! That a$$wipe was just roid-raging. You are so wonderful and have worked so hard and this is not a reflection of who you are.
We know how hard you've worked and that is what matters. Oh my god I am just SEETHING over here.
I got a really good run in today just thinking about it, but I've put it behind me and I'm moving forward. Not to mention, I got some good come backs from this thread too haha
Thank you ALL!!! I know I couldn't be where I am today without 3FC!!!!
You are NOT overly sensitive, those comments would have been hurtful to anyone.
I think it's good for the soul to have a good cry now and then (away from people) so don't refrain from it next time (I feel it cleans the hurt out of your system).
As for those unsensitive people/jerks, you have several options: either total jerk having a cheap laugh at your expense in front of his friends (to whom he obviously needs to prove something), or ex-obese himself practicing tough love, and for your uncle, well... let's just say that this kind of behavior is very common in families, people think they can blurt out whatever 's on their mind just because they're family (sigh...).
If it can make you feel any better, it might be a sign that you're not as overweight as you think; in my experience, when someone is really overweight, people just stay quiet and avoid the topic altogether.
Next time someone says something hurtful, you can take inspiration from Winston Churchill who was at a party once:
High society lady: "Sir Churchill, what a scandal, you're drunk!"
W.C.: "Well, I may be drunk, but you're ugly! And tommorrow morning, I'll be sober!"
I've been overweight alright more than once, but i have never been bullied that way. I don't know how it feels and i don't understand why such a thing would happen in the adult world. Maybe there is a cultural difference here, but complete strangers don't just walk up to you to offer rude comments. In my place that's a good reason to start a major fight. Maybe that's why it never happens (or rarely for i have never seen it). Those remarks were way too insulting. Especially the first one, the second was made in good humour i'd say. You were right to feel so sensitive and insulted. I have raised **** with strangers for lesser reasons.......they were complete *******s and i hope they will someday get their heads out off their a@ses.
I am so so sorry you had to go through this.......
Location: Northeastern Ohio But my heart belongs to Canada.
Posts: 369
S/C/G: 290/See Ticker/150
Height: 5ft 4 inches
I am new posting in this forum, but I just wanted to let you know, that some people are just careless with what they say, some are just know-it-all JERKS and some can't get any attention unless they are being negative about someone else.
NONE of that reflects on you, even if it FEELS like it does.
I probably would have been hauled out of that Target for my razor sharp tongue.
I hope no one minds me jumping in here. It has been hard finding where I fit in around here. However, when I read your post, I just wanted to hug you!
I've been overweight alright more than once, but i have never been bullied that way. I don't know how it feels and i don't understand why such a thing would happen in the adult world. Maybe there is a cultural difference here, but complete strangers don't just walk up to you to offer rude comments. In my place that's a good reason to start a major fight. Maybe that's why it never happens (or rarely for i have never seen it). Those remarks were way too insulting. Especially the first one, the second was made in good humour i'd say. You were right to feel so sensitive and insulted. I have raised **** with strangers for lesser reasons.......they were complete *******s and i hope they will someday get their heads out off their a@ses.
I am so so sorry you had to go through this.......
I know!! This is exactly why I was so baffled about how he could say something like that. At my highest weight I didn't get comments like that, I actually never got comments like that from anyone (just family) but never total strangers.
It was worse that the alarm things went off too, I felt like I couldn't even silently get out of the store because everyone is staring at me thinking I'm a shoplifter
On a side note, my friend told me maybe he didn't want me to buy the dumbbells that I picked up that were on clearance lol, gave me a good laugh, but next time I will speak up if someone makes tasteless remarks like that!!
I am new posting in this forum, but I just wanted to let you know, that some people are just careless with what they say, some are just know-it-all JERKS and some can't get any attention unless they are being negative about someone else.
NONE of that reflects on you, even if it FEELS like it does.
I probably would have been hauled out of that Target for my razor sharp tongue.
I hope no one minds me jumping in here. It has been hard finding where I fit in around here. However, when I read your post, I just wanted to hug you!
Thank you! You all have made me feel so much better! and you can jump in anywhere on 3FC irishsarah!!
I know I couldn't be where I am today without 3FC!!!!
