I've lost my way and could use some encouragement
 

I could really use some encouragement if anyone has some to spare. I started dieting in the Summer of 2010 after a stern warning from my doctor. I am 5'4" and was 259 pounds at the time (I'm 41 in case anyone is wondering). I immediately started counting calories (1400 per day), cut out white foods and most sugar (I allow a vitatop in the evening) and was going to the gym 3 to 4 times per week. The first 50 pounds really dropped off quickly. After that I managed to drop down another 30 pounds by the Fall of 2012 for a total of 80 pounds. I got more lax in terms of allowing myself sweets and white bread items, just more carbs in general but I also dropped my calorie allowance to 1300 as 1400 didn't seem to be cutting it. I've now been hovering back and forth between 179 to 185 since last October and I really want to hit my goal (150 pounds) before this year is up but I seem to have lost my way. I can string together 4 or 5 days but then the weekend comes, or a birthday party or any number of social activities and my willpower weakens. I am totally frustrated and just want to be finished with what has turned in to the slowest march towards losing 100 pounds ever. Clearly I know how to diet but at the same time I feel like the whole thing has escaped me. Any words of wisdom for me? I really appreciate anything you can impart.

I can't really help on how to drop more weight but I wanted to say :bravo: on what you have lost so far!!!

Thanks Natasha, congrats to you too - that initial phase is often the hardest so congratulations for making that first move!

WOW! I could have written that. Took me 10months to lose my initial 60lbs, felt great about myself and my accomplishment and promised myself I would lose an additional 10lbs. I have been struggling for the last 16months to not only try to maintain my initial loss but lose those additional 10lbs.
I have dropped my calories to 1200-1250 per day and getting no where. I took a couple unscheduled weeks off and today is my first day back at it.

Hang in there with me. We can do this!!!!

Well NEMom I am glad to know I'm not the only one. Here's what I would say to you if you didn't know my sordid back story - you are so close, you just have to force yourself to stick with this so you can reach that ultimate goal. That's cliche but I think if you keep trying you'll eventually latch on to a good enough string of time to power you through and at the very least you are maintaining.

Congrats on your progress, you've done an excellent job! :hug:

And I completely understand the burn-out. I was frustrated and burned out when I'd lost nearly 120 pounds (which took me several years to do!), so anxious to push myself past one of the "set-points" I'd gotten stuck at so many points in my life I finally snapped when some family stress hit and found excuse after excuse to munch on everything in sight. I regained well over 20 pounds in a matter of months before it took a major wake-up call to snap me back to reality. :(

My personal reality? I've had to accept that I have to change my way of life for forever. I need to embrace those changes and live for them every single day, every single meal. Knowing how to do it and continually applying it are two separate animals. So for me, each day is a new day, and a new possibility to set myself up to make the healthiest choices possible. Labeling an end to the weight loss and just wanting it to be over is setting myself up for failure, like when I got burned out. Because the healthier choices cannot end, even after all the weight is lost, otherwise it will creep right back.

But that's my experience, at least. I got back on the wagon and have now lost about 150 pounds total. It's going to be a while before I can work toward my goal again, but once I'm there I'm planning making sure that every choice I make is one I can feel good about making for my body. Because instead of focusing on weight loss, first and foremost I focus on my health. How will this cake make me feel when I eat it? Is it worth the regret I'll feel 20 minutes after it's gone? Will that cake even matter to me next month or next year and are all those little choices worth what it does to my body over time? How do I want to feel in 20 minutes, next week, next month, and next year? Will the meal before me get me there or drive me further away from my goals to be healthier and happier?

I don't know if any of this will help, but just remember you do know how to lose weight; you've made it happen! Good luck! Hang in there and check back with us. :)

ETA: I love VitaTops too, I have them almost daily. :carrot:

I wrote about this yesterday I think. I went through this several times in the past 160 pounds. When they happened, it was usually shortly after breaking a barrier that had "taunted" me. 300, 280, 250, 223, 220, and 200 pounds. What I found was I would stall out, feel insecure, deal with an issue that was creating the insecurity, become confidant, lose weight, repeat. Maybe your stall is trying to tell you something, or let you get used to a new version of you?

Elladorine - You know, your post really put this into a different perspective because I didn't think about the fact that I've just been burned out. Maybe I need to cut myself some slack, stop beating myself up and just find my way back to eating better. I appreciate you sharing your story with me, it really does help encourage me.

Ikesgirl80 - that's interesting to note. For me it's more about getting excited as I look better, I feel like I look good and then sort of think, aren't I happy the way I am now? I know I need to lose the rest, both because I will look even better and also because I am still not at a truly healthy weight. I'm really encouraged to see how much you have lost.

The will, motivation, commitment or whatever you want to call it do ebb and flow, and follow cycles in this journey.

I've been maintaining for now, around 20 months. The last few weeks, I've found myself burned out.

Tired of counting, veggies, fruit, lean protein, and tracking and working out and the whole dang thing.

So, at noon on Saturday, when I got off of work, I tossed the whole thing! I gave myself the weekend and Monday and Tuesday off.

Keeping that in mind. Wednesday morning! I'm back on the wagon!:D

What I've learned is. Most of the time, (just for me), I need to be on track, track my food, workout on a regular basis and stick to the right things.

But now and then, it is ok, to take a couple days off.

Mind you, yesterday, I ate a lot of junk I should not have, but my sisters and I worked our behinds off cleaning out my mothers garage and flower beds. The junk food was tasty, but I did keep portions in mind. I did peel the skin off of the chicken at lunch. I only ate one piece of pizza for supper. Mind you I did enjoy it! And we had 3 beers when we were done!:D

So.

I think, that if most of the time we are mindful of portions, food choices, workouts, etc., it's ok, to have a few things, not on your normal list, skip a workout.

But be mindful, that, we cannot do this every day. :D

That was my 220 and 200 pound stalls! I was so impressed with how good I looked, and was getting used to a skinnier face, neck, and shoulders area. I was looking in every mirror I could find! I'm so glad you are encouraged, and knowing I encourage people, encourages me, so thank you!

I hope one day I am at that point. I logically KNOW I will be, but with so much pressure the next couple weeks (trying to lose my last 10 or so pounds before my TT&BL on June 6th and the school year winding down), my attitude is sucking. I know it, and hate it, and am trying to change it, but I really feel like the stress is getting to me. You give me hope!

Chris