Originally Posted by freelancemomma:
I agree with this, though I wouldn't call it deprivation as much as sacrifice. There's some sacrifice in losing weight and maintaining the loss -- no way around that. I prefer to face it head-on so it doesn't take me by surprise. I find it useful to remind myself of the trade-off: better body and better health in exchange for less freedom in eating. (For me, the loss of freedom lies only in putting limits on quantities. No foods are off-limits to me and I treat myself often.)

F.

In the past, I would allow myself to deviate from my normal diet on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, etc. Many times those indulgences snowballed into a complete derailing of my diet. I can't afford to let that happen ever again. What I have done to deal with this is come to the realization that food does not define my life. I have made the decision, and am comfortable with the principle that special events are defined by the company you keep... not the food you eat. So, when I am celebrating my birthday, I don't care if I have cake or some certain favorite meal that is calorie-laden. On holidays like Thanksgiving, I don't care if I have stuffing or mashed potatoes. I don't NEED to have those things to enjoy these days. Having said that, its not like I am "suffering", and have just resigned myself to that. I eat things that I enjoy. I just make better choices -- and like freelancemomma said, I make sacrifices. But these sacrifices are WELL worth it.

I pretty much eat whatever I want ,with some revisions, for dinner. My breakfast and lunch choices are rarely unhealthy. I try not to eat out often, but if I do then I may change out the bun on my burger or chicken sandwich or order less fatty toppings on my thin crust pizza. I also have a sweet tooth and I make sure to budget my calories everyday to fit in my after dinner goody. Some times it really feels as if I am not on a diet, and I feel like this is something I can do long term :)

Originally Posted by Amarantha2:
I don't eat wheat & try to be gluten free but it has nothing to do with weight. However better calorie control is one of the good side effects of this way of eating.

I second this, being in a similar situation.

Originally Posted by freelancemomma:
I agree with this, though I wouldn't call it deprivation as much as sacrifice. There's some sacrifice in losing weight and maintaining the loss -- no way around that. I prefer to face it head-on so it doesn't take me by surprise. I find it useful to remind myself of the trade-off: better body and better health in exchange for less freedom in eating. (For me, the loss of freedom lies only in putting limits on quantities. No foods are off-limits to me and I treat myself often.)

F.

I'm fine with the word "sacrifice" too.

I read the "naturally thin" thread and then I read this thread and I end up all :?:. I suppose there are people in this world who can eat LOADS of calorically dense food and not gain weight, but I doubt those are the "naturally thin" people we're focusing our attention on. If so many people can "eat whatever they want as long as it's within [their] calorie range", aren't they basically "naturally thin"?

Originally Posted by memememe76:
If so many people can "eat whatever they want as long as it's within [their] calorie range", aren't they basically "naturally thin"?

Not at all. A "naturally thin" person is usually unaware of calories. They merely eat what they want, when they want----they just don't "want" as much or as often as many of us do. As I mentioned previously, I like many healthy foods, so I consider my diet fairly healthy---except that I often indulge in sweets. That makes it more difficult to stay within my calorie range, but I manage. A "naturally thin" person wouldn't even have to struggle to stay within limits.

Thank you everyone for posting your thoughts/experiences. I am still working on MY PLAN. I just bought a treadmill and am soooo excited about my new journey. I realize that this time around I have to try something different in order to get different results.

In the past I could get away with losing and staying motivated with just eating certain foods day in and day out with no exercise BUT obviously that didn't last and I can't seem to go back and honestly don't want to.

I want to be "balanced" whatever that means right? :dizzy: I want to not only be slimmer but FIT! Before when I lost weight the no# on the scale was moving down but my clothes size wasn't matching. So I know exercise is key.

Anyway I want to focus on whole foods the majority of the time but be responsible when/if I want something that is not.

For lunch today I had a grilled chicken caesar salad and I wanted something sweet so I had a 100 calorie pk fudge graham cookies. Didn't eat the whole box (which is what I would normally do) , only one pack and I was satisfied and am now back at work. So far so good!

Originally Posted by krampus:
Yes. I never eat anything I don't want. I have retrained my body to want nutritious food most of the time, but since I still like them, ice cream and sweet treats are going to make an appearance on the regular.

I really appreciate this mode of thinking. :)

I try to eat as cleanly, primally, paleo whatever you want to label it as possible, but I'm another person that fails when there is too much structure, so I don't beat myself up when I want something else.

Today for example, I swam on my lunch hour, and I usually go to the salad bar at the grocery store after. Couldn't get there due to road construction and couldn't get home, so I had to convince myself that one pita wasn't going to kill me and derail my scale. I'm still within my cal range, if a little over carb wise which might be a goiod thing as it seems to be actually alleviating the pms headache I've had all day.

I think that you can technically just count calories, but you give your body an edge if you fuel it properly.

Originally Posted by joefla70:
In the past, I would allow myself to deviate from my normal diet on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, etc. Many times those indulgences snowballed into a complete derailing of my diet. I can't afford to let that happen ever again. What I have done to deal with this is come to the realization that food does not define my life. I have made the decision, and am comfortable with the principle that special events are defined by the company you keep... not the food you eat. So, when I am celebrating my birthday, I don't care if I have cake or some certain favorite meal that is calorie-laden. On holidays like Thanksgiving, I don't care if I have stuffing or mashed potatoes. I don't NEED to have those things to enjoy these days. Having said that, its not like I am "suffering", and have just resigned myself to that. I eat things that I enjoy. I just make better choices -- and like freelancemomma said, I make sacrifices. But these sacrifices are WELL worth it.

^^^ This is exactly how I feel now too. Having 9 months and a loss of 132lbs (!!) under my belt, I have made it through every major holiday 100% on plan and survived them all! I'm not saying that the holidays were easy (they weren't in the beginning) but I had to overpower the food and the comfort that it brings me (or so I thought it brought me).

Now that I have done it, I know I can do it every holiday, special day, regular day.

I have impulse foods that aren't necessarily unhealthy (such as potatoes) and could fit in my calorie allotment, but the cravings they bring out in me could derail my whole weightloss mission. One little 150 calorie potato could ruin my life! And I'm stronger than any potato. :)

I'm trying not just to lose weight but to build a lifestyle I can maintain long-term.

Last time I lost these pounds I was super strict with myself, stuck to the diet no matter what, and had a wedding day where I looked and felt great. Once my goal day was over I indulged in everything I'd denied myself for so long and 5 years later I'd regained every one of those 50lbs.

This time I don't have a goal day in mind, I have a goal lifestyle. If I want cake I have cake, but I make sure it comes after a healthy meal and I don't have it every day. I'm still losing the weight, but I don't feel the slightest bit deprived.

As for 'naturally skinny', my sister is (or was at least). From our childhood she indulged in everything she wanted without thinking about it. In her twenties she felt self-conscious about being too thin. She saw a dietician to help with weight gain and deliberately loaded up on high-cal food -- with absolutely no result. Now she's in her mid-thirties and her metabolism is slowing down. She's eating less and weighs more.

My youngest child is thin as a reed. He's ten months old and when the girls were this age they were chubby little cherubs. He eats exactly what they did, partially breast-fed with healthy solid feeds, but his body shape is totally different.

I wish I could be naturally skinny but I'm not. I don't beat myself up about it, I just get my head down and do the work.

Originally Posted by memememe76:
If so many people can "eat whatever they want as long as it's within [their] calorie range", aren't they basically "naturally thin"?

Not if the calorie range is set to match physiological maintenance needs rather than natural appetite. I can eat whatever I want as long as it averages out to about 2,000 calories per day, but left to my own devices I would WANT to eat up to 4,000 cals per day. For this reason I don't consider myself naturally thin. It takes daily effort and vigilance, even though by objective standards my calorie allowance is fairly generous.

F.

Theoretically, I can eat whatever I want and lose weight as long as I stick within my calorie, carb and sodium limits. There have been days when I just had to have a potato and I managed to work it into the day's limits. The world didn't come to an end for me. But it meant that I wasn't able to eat as much because the veggies just don't have as many calories and you can eat a lot more of them.

With that said, at holidays and on family birthdays, I will allow myself to eat carefully of the treats. Instead of my former usual enormous piece of cake with ice cream, I will allow myself a 2X2 inch square and skip the ice cream (or else bring my own Arctic Zero). I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and it hasn't seemed to hurt.

But I do think that everyone is different and each of us has to find what works for us. No right or wrong answers here.

Originally Posted by Crow:
This time I don't have a goal day in mind, I have a goal lifestyle

Love this! It's one of the best things I've read on this forum. Thank you!

Originally Posted by memememe76:
If so many people can "eat whatever they want as long as it's within [their] calorie range", aren't they basically "naturally thin"?

The people I know and consider "naturally thin," don't HAVE a calorie range - at least not one they think about. They eat what they want without giving any thought at all to calories. Some have super high metabolisms and/or activity levels. They eat a lot, but burn it off. Others may eat huge amounts of food one day and then somehow, without thinking about it eat less or move more to compensate.

I've seen all different calorie ranges and types of eating for people of various sizes. There's no eating pattern or calorie range or activity level, or thought patterns about food that characterizes all thin or all fat people.

I have trouble with "trigger" foods, but hubby eats whatever he wants, but doesn't track calories, but is still losing just because he's taking smaller portions than his normal.

I think Jon P here on 3FC has a sig line that sums up that strategy (forgive me if I misquote) "I can eat whatever I want, I just can't eat everything I want."

Sometimes I even use that strategy myself. I CAN eat high glycemic and "junk" foods, but they do trigger intense cravings, so it's usually easier and more enjoyable to choose the foods that don't trigger the intense cravings I call "rabid hunger."

Pretty much everything that can be said has been said on this topic, but I just thought I would chime in and say - in 2007/2008 when I had my successful weight loss, I adopted the following mindset: When folks would ask me "You can eat that on your diet!?" - or - "You're allowed to eat that!?" I would tell them, "I can eat anything I want to." Because you know what? I am a big girl and I CAN eat anything I want to - BUT, I looked at my calories as a budget. Yeah, I can spend my calories on the cookies/cake/ice cream, etc., but it won't last long and I will not be as satisfied as if I had eaten something more healthy. So basically, in a nutshell, I was stingy with my calorie budget. That worked for me, and it still works today. However, like another poster has mentioned, if I truly came back around to it and truly wanted it, I would have a much smaller portion and would count it and move on. That is where my success came from. But, as others have said, and I can totally appreciate, if it is a trigger for you, why pull the trigger?