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-   -   Should I buy a swimsuit if I reach 146 on 4th of July this summer? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/280963-should-i-buy-swimsuit-if-i-reach-146-4th-july-summer.html)

wolfgirl69 05-03-2013 05:49 PM

Should I buy a swimsuit if I reach 146 on 4th of July this summer?
Last post of the day from me-besides replies and stuff! In the 4th of July challenge my goal is 146. I am .5 ahead of schedule. :D And my therapist says I can totally do it even if I have some bad days as long as I don't plateau and I get back on track every time. Anyways I LOVE swimming pools (Which my bff's apartment complex has) and the beach and I live in Cali so the beach is everywhere. My question is Should I get a swimsuit and go swimming or to the beach with my bff if/when I reach the goal? I am afraid people will look at me and judge me. :( 146 is half of the weight plus 6.5 pounds GONE... but is that enough to wear a swimsuit? It's not 3/4's or almost all or anything... Advice?

wolfgirl69 05-03-2013 06:08 PM

I know on my last post in this section people were saying how I don't look 170 and all but I am and I feel like I do. And when I look in the mirror or take a photo I know I'm not as fat as at 180. 10 pounds has actually changed my body a lot... But what if 146 is still looks the same as I do now? and then people will judge me.

wolfgirl69 05-03-2013 06:55 PM

I'm sorry that had probably been offensive to some people. I'm sorry. I'm just miserable and depressed. :( I have issues. Don't let my issues get in the way of your joy. I didn't mean bigger girls shouldn't wear swimsuits this was about me and my feelings about my own body personally. And if I just said something wrong again. Please realize. I am in California. No AC. Dehydrated. And depressed. My head is not on straight today. Please do not take anything personally. I can't think straight.

WildThings 05-03-2013 07:01 PM

A few weeks ago I was in Biloxi MS for work. One a free afternoon, I put on my suit and went to the very fancy pool at the hotel we stayed at. I was 226lbs, I wore a cute one piece, and I enjoyed myself. I was not the largest person in a bathing suit, and you know what, when you really look around, most people have their flaws. They all hang out in a bathing suit. Cellulite, spider/varicose veins, stretch marks, flabby skin, etc. The amazing thing is, unless you really look around for it, no one notices. We may think they do, but they don't. Get your bathing suit no matter what on the 4th of July, go to the beach and have fun.

wolfgirl69 05-03-2013 07:14 PM

Thank you so much WildThings! That makes me feel a little better.

And I just realized... I didn't take my medication for today.... I usually take it early in the morning and it's the afternoon. Maybe that's it.

Arctic Mama 05-03-2013 07:30 PM

A) it doesn't matter if people judge you. They'll judge you your entire life and it has absolutely NO bearing on what you choose to do, unless you give them that power. Don't chain yourself to the opinions of others and you'll be so much more happy. :hug:

B) 346 pounds isn't too fat for a swimsuit, and neither is 146, or anything above, below, or inbetween. Reframe your thinking - why should your activities and hobbies be dictated by some artificial sentiment attached to your size? When I lived in San Diego I swam all the time and didn't give a flip what I looked like in my suit (as a high schooler, no less!). It was hot, I wanted to enjoy the water. So I did. And I was a heck of a lot heavier AND shorter than you. Might a jerk from my school have called me a whale if he saw? Sure! But just because he says it doesn't make it true, nor should it make me care :)

C) be careful with time sensitive goals. They set us up for self hatred, in many cases. Will you feel like you failed if you 'only' make it to 150 by then? What will it do to your emotions if your losses are slower? Using goal garments is a great idea, I do it myself (custom corsets at goal weight, purse when I hit 170 awhile back, etc), but linking those with TIME is where the problem can come in. Put another way, would you say I've failed since I've lost and kept off over 90 pounds? Would your opinion of my success change if I told you it's taken five years? I am NOT a failure because my losses have been slow, but if I'd said I should do it in a year or whatever I'd have missed the mark by miles. Why deflate myself (or you) unnecessarily? We can't control how long the weight takes, only the behaviors that precipitate losing it. Basing your goals on a factor you can't control, especially when you're emotionally fragile and have some body image issues, is borrowing trouble.

Just think about what I've said :hug:

And buy that swimsuit no matter what your weight. Seriously. It's too hot to not swim.

wolfgirl69 05-03-2013 07:39 PM

I know but it's hard not to care. But I'll try. And I've kinda of always lived by the opinions of others. My therapist has been telling me lately that I need to get to know myself so I've been trying. I'm learning little by little lol.

I guess my goal could be 152.5. I mean emotionally not in the challenge (I like to aim high xD ) Amandie kinda came up with the Healthy/happy weight goal and then the ultimate goal program. 152.5 could be my healthy/happy. That's half of the weight :) and 146 could be ultimate :)

Thank you so very much! You've not only made me want to get a swimsuit this summer but I think you've helped for future events too :D :hug:

Lecomtes 05-03-2013 07:47 PM

Well, I have weighed over 300 lbs, still pretty close to that, and your post didn't offend me at all. It did make me sad that a young intelligent female would deny herself the simple joy of going swimming because of what somebody else MIGHT think...It made me sad because, I've been there! All too often.
I know it's a challenge, but when those thought pop up, try to correct them.
For instance, when you are out in the sun having a good time, are you just moping around judging all the people that are bigger than you? Probably not, because you are out to enjoy the water and the blue sky and the company of friends. Chances are, nobody that sees you will give a passing thought to your size.
These days I don't cover up in towels and over-suit garb to hide my size. I'm big. Everybody is going to see my size weather I'm in an Islamic Abaya that covers everything but the eyes, or in my undies! If the people that see me choose to judge or ignore me for my girth, it's really their loss and my benefit. They lose out on getting to know a kind. intelligent, compassionate person. I benefit from not having to waste my time on @ssholes that judge people based on outward appearances, many women don't have such a benefit.
It's futile to allow the shallow to dictate which behaviors are "appropriate" for plus-sized people to engage in...enjoy your life, carry yourself with confidence, and recognize that those who would judge you are not worth the time you spend thinking about them.

luckymommy 05-03-2013 07:51 PM

I really understand how you feel. I often avoid situations where people might see my body. However, now that I've regained weight, it has made me realize that I shouldn't have been so hard on myself in the past. Right now, I'm just trying to follow what Arctic Mama said. Anyone who judges you based on your weight is not worth your time or energy. I remind myself that if someone is bothered by my weight and doesn't notice how funny I am or how interesting I might be then that's their loss. Really!

Arctic Mama 05-03-2013 07:51 PM

Good on you! It may very well be that both goals are achievable in the next few months, I just worry about you bumming yourself out unnecessarily if that isn't the case.

And working on your head is HARD. My life was pretty much a wreck in high school, mostly because I did care what others thought and internalized a whole lot of untrue things about myself (even knowing, logically, that these people were just total jerks). It took a change of scenery, very loving friends and family, a spiritual overhaul, and about a decade of practice to get to where I'm at now. The mental work is a process, and a lifelong one, at that. But it is by far the kindest and most crucial step we can take in our health journeys. If your head isn't right, the self esteem and body issues that landed you with disordered thinking and eating in the first place, will just pop right up again. That's how so many of the people around here have been regainers - losing the weight is easy, changing our minds and hearts is hard.

It CAN be done and must be, but it is a lot of work.

wannaskipandlaugh 05-03-2013 08:14 PM

ARGH... I had this long answer and it disappeared SIGH...

The gist is... LOVE your life... It is the only one that YOU have and laugh as much as you can. People love to be around people who are happy and enjoy life. Trust your friends and have fun. All the other people on the beach or in the pool.... well they are just strangers and do you really care what they think (they are probably comparing themselves to you and coming up short I think) as they are strangers and you will most likely never see them again. ENJOY your life.... You have done so well and are trying to be healthy and wise and happy. That is a wonderful goal to work on. But its just you and noone else... Love yourself and laugh!

What I wrote before was more fun to read.. But I really wanted to answer you as I have been overweight for 50 years and I still wear shorts (giggly, dimple legs and all) swim in the ocean and on a cruise boat with all those shapely things.. but I don't care cause I am having fun)...

Hugs to you and keep being involved here.. We love seeing what you have to write!

wolfgirl69 05-03-2013 09:08 PM

Thank you all so much! I read all your responses and they made me feel so much better on the subject! I will buy that swim suit no matter what! I will be happy and live my life! I'm going to try to stop caring what strangers think. And Arctic Mama you're right it is hard... but it is worth it :D

Again thank you all so very much!

Andrea85 05-03-2013 09:32 PM

If YOU want to rock a bikini, DO IT!!! I wear bikinis and I love them. I may not be toned and tight everywhere, but I'm proud of how far I've come and I am starting to enjoy my figure. I still look in the mirror (every day, in fact) and wish my thighs were thinner or my belly fat was gone, but honestly...no one else cares that much! And if they do, they aren't worth my worry about what they think.

Can I offer a suggestion? I have been doing a lot of strength training the last few weeks and I am amazed at how much more toned I look in my abs, even under the belly fat. It's like it has lifted up and just somehow looks better! Same for my legs and booty. Weight hasn't changed, measurements the same, but I look better in my bikini from last summer! So maybe up the strength training so you can feel confident in your figure.

Let me say, I grew up in Southern CA (San Diego), so I know how you feel about being SURROUNDED by beautiful women with perfect figures in their tiny bikinis. There are a LOT of them in that part of the world, and it's intimidating! Honestly, though, it all comes down to how you put it out there. Find a bikini that still looks good on your body type. I know that I need ones that have double adjustable strap/ties on the bottom (the string forms a loop that holds the 2 bottom pieces together so you can adjust), and a top with some kind of support. Those triangle tops look terrible on me! I found some cute ones at Target. Try on some different suits, go for colors that look AMAZING against your skin, and show that skin with the knowledge that you are GORGEOUS! Curves are beautiful!

Lecomtes 05-03-2013 09:38 PM

Yay! I'm glad you will buy the suit! Way to go motivator! :)

elvislover324 05-03-2013 09:54 PM

You have already received so much good advice here, I don't even know what to add!

You are a beautiful girl and you should enjoy your life every day! I have a whole new attitude in the past year and realized that we aren't guaranteed a tomorrow. Let's make today the best we can and if that means wearing a bathing suit at a bit of a higher weight than we want, who cares?! We can't let our mind rob us of the joy in our life already.

So happy you are buying the bathing suit too!

novangel 05-04-2013 12:14 AM

I wore a bikini last summer at 150p and felt comfortable. I'm now 10p thinner so I will definitely rock mine again this summer. I don't look look my weight either, most people assume 120's.

Missy Krissy 05-04-2013 12:21 AM

I wouldn't do a time-based goal like that at all, and I think you know why.

Get a swim suit no matter what your size. Unless you'd rather swim fully clothed or naked. ;)

wolfgirl69 05-04-2013 11:16 AM

thank you guys so much! Swimsuit it is!

And LOL Missy I think I'll go with the swimsuit haha

wolfgirl69 05-04-2013 11:19 AM

I feel calm and happy and positive and better today! :D I don't feel so overemotional and a wreck. And my aunt (Who is also like my idol) is coming over today! :D I think i'm better now I think it was not taking my meds combined with the California heat. Seriously I feel okay about my body today :D YAY!

tehshort1 05-04-2013 11:29 AM

Everyone has given some amazing advice. I used to think the same way you did. I was "too fat" to put on my suit and go to the pool. I live in an apartment complex that has an awesome pool and for the first year and a half I lived there, I never once went. Only a month ago I came to the realization that swimming is awesome exercise (especially as a means to diminish my upper arm flab) and once I thought about it that way I have been going a few times a week and working on my upper body strength. Plus here in Florida is it H-O-T and it is so refreshing! I'm glad to hear that you decided to go for it. Remember, the only one you ever have to answer to is yourself. If it makes you happy, then do it! Good luck meeting your 4th of July Challenge!

Amarantha2 05-04-2013 11:35 AM

Glad you feel better. Have a good time with your aunt.

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