How to Gain Fat - A reverse exercise!
 

One time in a support group, the leader said .... "okay, let's pretend we are trying to gain fat, not lose fat. What would you do?" And I thought this was sort of a fun and silly exercise, because it reminds you of what NOT to do. No matter what plan you are on, a lot of these things are likely universal to weight loss plans. Also, silliness is encouraged - this is just supposed to be fun.

I'll start with a few:

- Eat at least one package of Oreos a Day, preferably double stuffed.
- Never leave any food on your plate -even if you are full. "Clean Plate Club"
- if you can't find a parking spot close to the entrance of a store, don't park far away and walk. Drive home and watch tv.
- Eat all your food standing up - it doesn't count!
- Likewise, food bought on sale, with a coupon or for a really good deal doesn't count!
- Never ever reach out for support, it is a sign of weakness.

Ha, what a great idea. Here's a few:
-Eat out everyday, preferably while working an overnight shift, so that the only options are those greasy places that stay open for the drunk college kids till 4am.
-Don't bother to prepare snacks for the day, there is plenty of food available at convenience stores and gas stations.
-If you eat it standing in front of the fridge, with the door still open, looking around frantically to make sure no one sees you, it does not count.
-Likewise for eating anything directly out of a container, using your finger as a utensil (nut butters, hummus, jelly, marshmallow fluff- get creative).

Too Funny Girl-
Never eat in front of anyone ...Cuz if no one sees you the calories don't count!

Eat all junk food while watching favorite shows on couch .It is a Proven Fat Burner!

You can subtract all food that you sneak from your total calorie count.

Junk Food eaten during the week has less calories they only add the calories in on the weekend ..SHHH this is a little known fact that they do not place on the Menu board.
If I wish on a star while eating Junk food I will not gain weight I have earned a 1 month weight window!

Being a stressed out working mom I burn fat easier, as long as I don't exercise.

Anything consumed in less than 30 minutes does not count cuz I'm burning extra calories by shoveling it in!��

Oh .....only if this were really true.��

thanks this brightens my day...��
Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

Ice cream is dairy it's good for you
Marrochino cherries are a fruit
"fruit flavoring"= good for you
Paula dean diet "pre diabetes"
Fry EVERTHING

Eat in bed
Sleep in bed
Eat in bed
Sleep in bed

Always have seconds and thirds too!
Eat like its your last meal
Pizza has the 5 food groups in it, eat it daily
A box of cheez its and cookies are a must in bed before going to sleep.
Never turn away food, after all it's rude to do so.
Dont forget to drink at least a 2 liter of soda per day
That all sounds too easy, good thing we don't want easy!

When they ask you if you would like to up size your meal at the fast food joints always say yes. It's the same calories as the smaller version because it's the same meal.

LOVE all these posts so far!

Food without labels doesn't have calories, i.e. homemade pizza, deep fried vegetables/chicken, etc.

Takeout food also has no calories as there is no label so order up!

Don't dirty a bowl to serve chips in, just eat from the bag until you are full or they are gone (usually they are gone before I get full).

If I don't log my food, it never existed!

Walking while eating an ice cream cone cancels each other out.

Strawberry ice cream in said ice cream cone is a good way to get your servings of fruit a day.

I have to think of some more!

Gee, these are bringing back some fond (????) memories! :dizzy:

- Fish should always be breaded and then fried. Preferably in a deep fat fryer, but a skillet with 2 inches of oil in it will do.
- When shopping for ice cream, potato chips, and candy for your evening snacks be sure to throw in a bag of lettuce to fool the checkout clerk
- Cooking is about how things taste. Be sure to taste everything as you're cooking a meal. If you're cooking for 2 and the recipe serves 6, it allows for a lot of taste testing.
- Carry a roll of quarters in your purse at all times so that you always have change for the vending machine. Any weight you gain from eating from a vending machine is offset by the added weight of carrying around a roll of quarters.
- Stop at Krispy Kreme and buy the 2 for 1 (2 dozen for the price of one). Eat the first dozen on the way home and stop someplace to get rid of the box.
- Order the family combination dinner as take out at the Chinese restaurant and tell the cashier you're sure that you're family will enjoy it even though you've never done anything but order take out and usually orders for one (ok, or maybe two).

- If you have favorite indulgent foods, keep them around just in case you feel a little hungry (e.g. candy in desk drawer, snickers in purse, ice cream in freezer).
- If its labeled "fat free", you don't need to count that as eating - no matter how many calories are in it. In fact, count "fat free" food as a serving of fruits and vegetables.
- Liquid calories are great - they make you feel more full. Don't waste your energy on water.

I loved every single one of these, I woke up my dog laughing out loud!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

I love this thread! For a variation on a theme : When shopping for cake to address a 7pm binge crisis, be sure to add some cat food or litter; you'll throw off the checkout clerk and make your cats happy !

If you wear your sunglasses and take your husband's truck through the drive-thru, the staff won't remember you were already there earlier in your car. And of course, always get a diet coke!

Going out to breakfast after a night of drinking is healthy, the bacon and sausage fat will absorb any alcohol left over in your stomach.

Eating oil laden pasta salad from the supermarket salad bar is a healthy choice, it's from the freakin' salad bar!!

*close your eyes while eating. If you didn't see it go to your mouth, it didn't happen.

*licking peanut butter, cookie dough, ice cream, or frosting off a spoon does not count toward calories. You are cleaning the spoon. Cleaning = housework. Housework = work. Work = calories burned. Therefore, you can double or even triple dip. The more you lick the more you are cleaning and the more calories burned.

*When ordering a sub sandwich, ask for a foot long cut in half and have nothing but double meat and a ton of mayo on one side. Get extra veggies on the other side with no mayo and brag how great and healthy you eat. Have each side wrapped individually. Get home and scrape some mayo off the mayo sandwich onto the other and divide the veggies between the 2. Now eat it all. Your imaginary sandwich sharer isn't hungry anymore and you're not about to waste it.

*Sit on a barstool while eating. Swing your legs like a small child. Believe it or not, leg swinging is exercise and makes it so you can eat whatever/ however much you want.

*Taking a long hot bubble bath with a bottle of wine counts as water aerobics. Trying to bend your legs to shave and work around your belly counts as yoga. Don't forget to add it to your myfitnesspal.

^ This is my favorite!

I used to do this quite a bit, but I never gained. What really packs my pounds on is animal products.

Eating while deciding what to eat doesn't count as food eaten (i.e. snacking while standing in the fridge/pantry deciding what to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner)

:lol: couldn't help but laugh at this one. It makes me think that trying to trip up your lady bits as equal parts yoga and Russian roulette.

ETA: Some did log "Sex" as exercise on their MFP today... made me think... perhaps I should log that too.

haha I love this one..

Elvislover, I'm not sure why you put this in this thread...it's totally true! :joker:

I love every one of these responses! (despite the fact that I've done many of them, lol)

-If something is within a week of its expiration/best by date, eat it all to keep it from spoiling.

- Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Make sure to eat at least 2 breakfasts.

- listening to upbeat dance music burns just as much energy as dancing.

- You need extra food during your period. Make sure to eat an extra 1,000 calories during the entire month of your period.

- A day is not a day without dessert.

- Salt is an important mineral in the body. Without it, we would all die. Never ever forget to add it to EVERYTHING


Silly, silly thread, I like it :D

Aimlessly wander the kitchen after dinner picking at things. This is a painless and easy way to get at least an extra 500 calories per day without even noticing - have one of those hardboiled eggs you just made (just to make sure they are done), a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter while putting things away, and then a few spoonfuls of rice just before shutting the lights out. Boom, you are on your way to weight gain!

Eat spoonfuls of sugar and pancake syrup. You gain weight and get the sugar rush. It's like living life on the edge and you are one bad mamma jamma.

I LOVE all of these. Thanks for supporting my silly thread. This one made me laugh out loud "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Make sure to eat at least 2 breakfasts."

I'm sitting here laughing about all of these posts -- obviously we have some experience along this line. Love the always get a diet coke.......can't tell you how many times I've told myself I was "saving calories" as I ordered the Big Mac combo and went up a size (both in terms of the meal and my pants!).

Caught myself ALMOST doing this yesterday:

- Eating a sugar-free ice cream bar means that having two will still leave you under your calories for the day!

Call me pessimistic but I'm going to go out on a .. ahem .. limb and say it didn't last long enough to burn much. :D

BTW, if you eat your kid's holiday candy (Easter, Halloween) it doesn't count as your calories because it was the kid's candy.

Try to eat food as much as your 6 foot 1 husband. Why should he get to eat more calories just because he's eight inches taller than you!?!

Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting.
Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting.
Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting.
Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting. Diet. Stop dieting.

Just the thread to make me smile! :D

When watching tv or on your pc make sure you always have crisps handy, the shows are more intresting and the work goes faster when you eat - True story!

A chocolate in the car doesnt count, you barely tasted it so therefore you barely ate it - infact just to make sure have a second.

An oat cookie is healthy for you, when covered in chocolated its still healthier than choclate chip, eat as many as you like, ditto for digestives covered in chocolte or caramel.

Never, Ever, do exercise - eating is way more fun and satisfying!

Eating an ice cream by the pool while others swim counts as an outdoor activity, look how healthy you are!

(I'm guilty of all of these...........)

Lifting the Coke can to your mouth is exercise...log it as doing 12 ounce curls. Just make sure you alternate between hands so you don't over build one arm.

Eating anything left over on your spouse's or child's plate doesn't count towards your calories, only your plate gets logged.

Throwing 12 wadded up drive-thru cheeseburger/taco wrappers into the trashcan from across the room is pretty much like playing basketball. Do it in slow motion so you can count more minutes. If you miss with 11out of the 12 like me, squatting to pick them up counts as bodyweight resistance training. Win-win.

*make a boxed cake mix substituting applesauce for oil and using 2 eggs instead of 3. By doing this, it's OK to eat the whole cake because it has less calories.

*sugary cereal is OK as long as you use skim milk.

This just made me burst out laughing!!! :D

;) think I should have clarified to eat the cheeseburgers/tacos first?

If you have a row of fast food restaurants treat it like a buffet and hit all of them in a row ...cuz it only counts for one meal if you do it like that.

Roo2

If your midwife tells you to eat whatever you want while you're breastfeeding that means it's fine to have a whole cheesecake for breakfast. In fact you should feel good about yourself -- you're doing a great thing for your baby.

Each package counts as a single portion no matter how big it is. You should buy the largest package you can of chocolate or snacks because you'll feel fuller after it, so you're less likely to be hungry for meals later.

Food you make yourself, like cakes or cookies, is healthy. The more of it you eat the healthier you are.

Food only has calories in your own home, so at parties,barbecues or potluck lunches you should have as many helpings as you can stuff down -- it's rude not to.

(yes I've done all of these)