I feel like giving up...
 

So I started out ok, my first week weign was -6 lbs this pat Tues. (doing WW). Then I got on a scale at work and gained 4 pounds back! I am trying so hard I am so discouraged...

I weigh like 299 now and I just feel like giving up because it's too much. I got a referral from my Dr. for WLS a few months back but I wanted to try on my own. I don't even want to WEIGH in this week. I think I will just see the surgeon for the first consult. I can't do it.

Even if I lost a pound a week for the next year I would still be obese.

*Sigh*:?:

I've never been obese so I can't really sympathize with how you feel but I would give it more than a week before resorting to surgery. My first week I shot up 4 pounds (I freaked out!) but that soon came off. Patience. I would keep going. :hug:

It takes as long as it takes. Stick with it MrsYoung, time is on your side. Trust me, when you are 10 pounds down in ten weeks time you will feel great!

I feel fantastic and look great right now, even with my stage II/severe obesity! Compared to where I was. Bring it on!

Number one, you fluctuate a few pounds daily. I can show you my daily weigh in graph and trust me, it's spikey! Number 2, every scale weighs different. I have two right now and my new one weighs me a pound lighter. Did I really lose a pound? No. If the numbers are affecting you this much, you need to weight only at your meeting. You should try to weigh in during the same circumstances (ie wearing the same clothes/weight of clothes, bladder empty, etc). When I went to WW meetings I usually had a very light light breakfast, would go to bathroom at the Walmart near to empty everything out, and always wore the same clothes. I weigh at home usually in my pjs (it's too cold to be buck naked!). No matter when you weigh in, if you just ate/drank, you will have an up on the scale. I think today I weighed in at 235 and drank something...bam! 236. Am I failing at my weight loss? Nope. My stomach has fluid/food in it!

This is my daily graph for the month of February. Weight loss has spikes. It's not a smooth gradient.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/f6333c5d7...y7puo1_500.png

Trust me, even if you are still in the obese category, you will LOOK and FEEL so much better. I started WW at 298 and stopped at 212. This year, my only goal is to get back to 212. Screw a final goal. I just want 212. Trust me, I looked amazing at 212 versus 298!

Even if you really did gain the weight, it won't take as long to get rid of it. See that graph? That huge jump was 10 pounds of extra weight cause I was binging most the week. Did I let that push me back? Nope. I refreshed, renewed and feeling great! So, maybe you have been a little lax this week. Start fresh tomorrow. Make sure you are eating within the good health guidelines. Eat more vegs/fruits. Drink less sugary drinks and above all: TRACK every bite.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

I don't know about you but within 5 lbs and eating healthier, my heartburn is gone and my tummy is never upset. I'll take that. Within 10 pounds being lost, my knees feel a bunch better.

Mrs. Young, my husband at his highest was 507 pounds. It took him 3 years but he took off 100 pounds. Feeling like he was getting no where fast he had a gastric bypass surgery and got amazingly quick results. He was at 299 within 6 months of his surgery. Then, he started eating the wrong foods again. Sneaking foods from me, hiding them. Drinking a lot of his calories through juice. Today he weighs 340 pounds. Surgery is not the 'fix-all' that you think it is. It's a tool to help with weight loss but it's not going to keep you skinny forever. You have to do that. Your choices. Your exercise routines. Your food choices.

My number one recommendation to you is this: Get your eating under control before you have the surgery.


I hope this didn't come out to preachy....I'm just trying to be honest.

Aw sweetie, don't give up! You CAN do this and it does work; you just have to keep at it. Please give yourself a little more time. Maybe see where you are one month from today. :hug:

Hey friend! I hate having days like that. You think it's possible the work scale is off? My scale is different than my mom's. Hers shows me 5 lbs less. Time of day, water retention, and stress can affect it to. When you feel like giving up, dig down deep and find even just a thread of strength. Hold on tight and build it up. With every step it gets stronger and easier to find.

WLS May seem the way to go right now, but brings a whole new sets of obstacles to overcome. Some of them the same as what you are experiencing now. Can you face those 100%?
You can do this! Take it one small step, one small hurdle, one small triumph at a time. You're gonna get there!

Thanks all...

I do know that WLS is not a quick fix. It's a huge commitment and not magic by any means.

I guess deep down I don't want to do it. My husband is against it, he doesn't like the idea of me having surgery in case there are complications. He's also in great shape, never been overweight in his life, plus he's a mover for a living so he can pretty much throw a refrigerator (I wish he would throw ours somewhere...ha ha)
He is also, objectively of course, very handsome. I feel like sometimes people are looking like "Why is he with that fat lady?" He would never make me feel bad or anything, but I am terribly self concious.

I just don't want to die trying, you know? I'm not even thirty. This sucks, and I am so alone in this.

To the person who feared sounding preachy, no worries. I need to hear the truth, no matter what it is. Also, I am doing WW alone, I work in health care (what a joke!) and we have a medical/dr's scale in the ladies. I only use that scale so I don't get confused.

Thanks to everyone for taking the time out of your day to reply. It really means a lot.

Guess what, the same amount of time will pass regardless of whether you choose or choose not to lose weight. Let's say you lose a lb a week for a year. If you can do that, you can certainly do 2 years. Don't wait until your 40's like me.

That time goes by way faster than you think it will. I guarantee you won't say, boy, I've only lost half my weight this year, I wish I had never started.

I would defiantly only weigh in once a week. There is a WW forum here. Support while losing weight is imperative. Posting on 3FC keeps me sane and accountable. Although I personally post the most in 100 pound club. I'd also recommend Beck Diet Solution which you can do with WW. It's a mind-psychology book on dieting/weight loss the healthy way. If you have binging issues, I'd also recommend Full-Filled. I've lost 22ish pounds and I work night shift/tons of overtime. I do WW online. If I can do it, you can too! Also, there is a signature floating around here that says, "Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard." So true! If anything, I'd suggest making a list of reasons why you want to lose weight and read those daily (when you wake up and before you go to bed. Heck, read them before you eat). But please give this more than a week. Give it more than a few weeks. Just keep trying.

Also:http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb...5id1o1_500.png
(I love scrolling through tumblr for motivation)

And you are not alone! 3FC has hundreds of people trying to do this. You have our support, help and companionship in this!

You can do this! Good luck!

HEY! This relates to my quote of the day! I was bummed I went up a pound and then I got the quote. Put a smile on my face and made me realize I can do this. :hug: you can do this hun! Hang in there!!

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” ~Earl Nightingale

MrsYoung, I agree with all the others who are telling you to hang in there!

I also agree you should not weigh more than once a week. I only weigh once a month, but if you're doing WW that's really not an option (unless you're doing it online, I suppose). But definitely no more than once a week, at the same time, under the same conditions.

The time will pass whether you stick with it or not. Better to keep on trying than to look back six months from now and say "if only I'd stayed with the program I would have lost some weight." So what if it's 15 lbs? Maybe it will be 30! But it will be more weight loss than if you don't do anything, right?

Ms. Young!! You can totally do this!! And even if you do WLS (ain't nuthin' wrong with that!), they'll probably make you go on a plan, and stay with it for a bit first.

It's funny--I think a LOT of people in healthcare deal with weight! A quick way to take care of other people-while trying to meet your own needs on the fly--is just to eat a bunch of carbs for energy.

:hug: from another WW person!

Scales, GAHHHHH! For now, I would recommend you stick to the WW once a week weigh in and stay off of other scales. They can differ a lot for a lot of reasons.

If you do feel the need to weigh yourself other than at your official WW weigh in, go out and buy yourself a GOOD digital scale, weigh at the same time, same clothes or not, log it and, use it and your food and exercise tracking tools as feed back to help you learn how your body responds.

I don't have anything against weight loss surgery, it can be a life saving tool, but in the long run, you will still have to deal with the mental aspect of why you ended up where you are.

I have lost and gained over the years, rinse and repeat, and repeat! The last time I made up my mind, to do this, and stick with it, I had to redefine my idea of normal. Normal food, normal exercise, etc. I finally realized that if I want to lose it and keep if off, I will always have to be mindful of what I do.

And it takes a ton of patience and commitment, and perserverance. It took me 2 months to lose the last 5 pounds!:dizzy:

But, along this journey, I realized, I AM WORTH IT! I DESERVE IT. YOU ARE WORTH IT AND YOU DESERVE IT!

The journey is worth it! Grab that bull by the horns and DO NOT LET GO! Some days will be smooth sailing, and some days, you're gonna get bucked off, pick your self up, dust yourself off and move on!

don't give up!! I started at 299 lbs 2 years ago in april. i've lost a bunch of weight>>and I'm still technically obese. But it's okay. Cause I know that I can do this, even if it takes me two more years! and you can do this! Please don't give up. :hug:

Looks like you've gotten lots of emotional support so far but unless I missed it I don't know if you got any science yet. So here is some basic science you can trust in when you're in doubt.

The pirmary tenant you need to know is fat loss or gain is an equation of energy.

Your body converts food to energy

Eat more energy than your body uses and you add to fat stores

Eat less energy than your body uses and your body uses fat stores to make up the difference

Energy is measured in calories.

Sadly - there is no easy way to measure fat loss or gain over short periods of time so we stand on a scale which measures our weight. Water flux affects the scale in the short run much more than fat loss or gain, especially in women. The bigger you are, the more water can flucuate. (I can change 8 lbs over night)

The point of this is that you may be losing fat still and the scale may not be reflecting it.

I personally always suggest people count calories for a while because it is very informative and with todays technology is very easy.

Even if the scale isn't moving, if you are in a caloric deficit you can be assured you're losing fat.

Hope this helps.

Oh, I know all about being disappointed by the fluctuations! You just have to stick to it and wait it out. It might be easier if you ONLY weigh at your meetings.

Last month, I FINALLY saw 329 on the scale, which made me elated because my "short term" goal was 330. Then a week later, I went to the doctor's office and their scale said 337. I was disappointed, but I just remembered that the important thing is the overall trend over time.

don't give up, it takes time.

One of my doctor's offices always does this, it's literally off 7lbs from my other doctor and home scale. I try to tell them I weighed in already for the week but they don't care. So the higher weight goes in the chart and I think about it the whole appointment!

Don't give up! I had a moment like that about 2.5 weeks in. Instead of "giving up," I "got up!" When you feel down, a good walk can really lift your spirits.

You can do this! Find a food logging app you like and use it...daily. It is really motivating to read through the posts here.

Whatever you do, don't quit. When I wanted to quit, someone here said something to the effect of, "If you quit, you will be at the same place or worse in a year." It's true. If we quit, we will be just as bad off or worse in the long (or short) term.

It may be water weight. It may be time of month. It is amazing all the reasons your body fluctuates.

Hugs!

Hang in there. We ALL feel like giving up sometimes, but it is a commitment we make to keep going. You can do this :cheer:

I agree with the majority, stay off the scale! Weight fluctuates. Try once a week or even once a month. Don't give up!

Offering support for you. I've been there. It's a daily fight to keep from going there again. It's not easy. Sometimes it seems so hard and not worth it. But then I remember feeling terrible about myself during some event that I should have been focused on people or the event. Then I remember the pride I feel at having 1 day under my belt. Then another. I don't set long term goals...like lose x amount of pounds by x day. Because I can't control that and I tend to crack (IE my goal was 209 lbs by Christmas when I was to see family I don't see often so that I could say 40 lbs down...I got to 211 which was good, but then proceeded to put weight back on....now I'm back up to 225 UGH). So I literally focus on today. Today I can do this.....I plan for tomorrows meals but focus on one day at a time. It seems so daunting....if you think how far you have to go....but don't. Think of today. When you have a week, don't look at it like you ONLY lost x weight....Think of the changes you have made in your life that week. Changes that are helping your body from the inside. Also, our bodies are very smart...they don't want us losing weight. If we cut too low calories, it might work for a while but then you spend the next few weeks fighting the hungry horrors because our bodies are begging us to fiil the fat stores. Slow and steady wins the race. And I second what everyone else says about take a walk. It doesn't have to be a marathon walk, just a walk. Make sure your vitamins are good (vitamin B plays a huge roll in mood). Hugs to you!!!

I went through the same dilemma. The idea of WLS scared me, not to mention that my insurance doesn't cover it and I'd have to borrow the money to do it. But the money issue wouldn't keep me from doing it. After all, its too important to put a price tag on it. Anyway, I wanted to give one last REAL effort to take the weight off myself before resorting to WLS. So far, so good.

You only just recently started your weight loss program, and your first week looked like it was really productive. Realize that its not always going to follow that same pattern of x amount of pounds per week. You'll have your ups and downs, as well as your struggles to stay on your plan. But don't let one, two or even three weeks of no losses discourage you so much that you want to give up. If you are following WW to the letter and still not losing weight, maybe you just need to try something else. There are lots of different weight loss plans out there that people have great success with. Many people have great success with WW. But, maybe WW isn't for YOU.

I have used various weight loss plans over the years and nothing really worked FOR ME until now because I realized a few things.

1. I had to realize that I wasn't on a temporary diet to lose weight. Been there, done that. Usually when I started out with this mindset I eventually got derailed from my diet and never got back on track. Then, whatever weight I lost I just regained -- and then some. No, my change in diet had to become my new way of life. (And even if you do WLS, you'll have to do the same thing. The WLS will help you, but some people who don't change the way they eat just wind up regaining it. I have four close friends who had this happen to them.)

2. I had to find the program that was best suited for ME; something I could follow and make it part of my long term lifestyle change. A diet program can be the best designed plan in the world, but if its a program that you can't stick with, it will be useless to YOU.

3. I had to realize that the process of losing weight was going to be a long one and accept that the results were not just automatically going to show up on the scale -- even though I did everything right. The second part of this was a hard concept to wrap my head around. Because at first the weight came off rapidly. But eventually it slowed down, and some weeks I stayed the same weight or even gained a few pounds. Now sometimes it was my own fault because I wasn't as diligent in following my diet plan as I should have been. So in those situations, I understood where I went wrong and I recommitted myself to doing better. But what was hard to accept was the weeks where I did everything right -- but still did not lose. Again, I knew this could - and probably would - happen going in. So when it did happen, I didn't panic. I was disappointed and frustrated to be sure. But I remained calm and stayed the course. Sometimes it made me even MORE committed to the weight loss and spurred me to watch myself even more. But *knock on wood* it has never made me think of quitting.

Now, I understand that you have the possibility of WLS. But don't let that be your crutch to fall back onto. There is nothing wrong with WLS, but if you really and truly want to try and lose the weight on your own, then you owe it to yourself to give it your best effort. YOU CAN DO IT!