[Missy Krissy]

Originally Posted by berryblondeboys

Part of our problem in society is that we think we are HIDING our weight. I think it does more harm than good. We can hide many things - pill popping, bulimia, alcoholism, child abuse, extra marital affairs, but we cannot hide our weight - when we lose it and when we gain it and pretending that it's a secret is comical!

Sure, people might not know the number on the scale, but they can tell if you are a little fat, a lot fat or just right or too skinny. No long sweaters, jeans or shaggy hair will hide that. yet, we like to pretend it does. It's comical and sad at the same time.

This is spot on! I don't get asked how much I've lost often (though people have noticed and I have gotten positive comments), but when I do I just tell the number.

This whole weight loss process has really helped me to come to terms with the scale, and realize that a number truly is just a number. Granted, I want to see that number going down, but the number the scale shows isn't as scary as it once was. It's funny, I remember weighing myself in high school and I was at 137 - that number devastated me at the time! Now I can't wait to see it again.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want the amount of weight I've lost to empower me rather than deflate me, so when asked I share it with pride!

[LockItUp]

Originally Posted by Missy Krissy

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want the amount of weight I've lost to empower me rather than deflate me, so when asked I share it with pride!

I LOVE that!!!

It seems like there's so much shame that can go along with being overweight, then to be ashamed of the numbers after losing it, that is not the way I wanna go! I will no longer be ashamed of myself, not of my body, not of some trivial numbers, not of anything! Even though there are definitely times I feel a bit uncomfortable with the attention I get, I do enjoy it and I've worked hard to lose all of this weight, so I try and enjoy it as much as possible.

[April Snow]

Sure, people might not know the number on the scale, but they can tell if you are a little fat, a lot fat or just right or too skinny. No long sweaters, jeans or shaggy hair will hide that. yet, we like to pretend it does. It's comical and sad at the same time.

To me, that's the point though - that people don't know the number on the scale. They can look at me and see I am fat but they don't know if I weigh 200 lbs, 250 lbs or 300 lbs (most people anyway). And I don't think they need to know that because the fact is that people make judgements about the number as well as the appearance. So when there are many of us who get the "you don't weigh that much!" type comments, it's not that we are hiding our fat, making it invisible, it's that people are judging us less harshly because they don't add in the stereotypes that they sometimes make in the abstract about someone who weighs 250 lbs.

In the abstract, it's not uncommon for someone to think about a 250 lb woman as unkempt, lazy, constantly eating junk. That isn't who they see when they look at me, regardless of the fact that IS the number I see when I look at the scale. And I don't think I have to make it my job to tell them that they maybe should see me that way, as that 250 lb woman with the negative things they might think about someone who weighs that much.

That's why I may be more comfortable sharing numbers once I've lost a lot more weight, because by then, I won't the risk of those negative judgements even when they do the math and realize how much I must have weighed at one point. By then, they will see the achievement instead, and losing weight is considered a laudable, good thing despite the fact that having the weight to lose in the first place is considered a very bad thing.

Now of course, I'm not saying I agree with those stereotypical judgements or that I think they are correct in any way. But I don't think that it would benefit me to take on the battle of trying to change people's perceptions - I've got enough battles of my own to fight right now as it is, and I need to keep my energy focused on my own health and weight loss.

[elvislover324]

Yay Mozzy!!! Somehow I missed this thread. So happy I just found it!!!

I never tell anyone how much I lost including my mother, but she is always the first one to notice (but she never tells me when I am gaining as she doesn't want to hurt my feelings?!).

I always just say that I don't go by the scale, I go by my clothes.

But if one of you here at 3FC or my husband should ask, I know down to the OUNCE how much I lost and will gladly tell you!!

[Mozzy]

Thanks everyone for your responses. It's interesting to see how varied the reactions are to the same situation/question.

[Vex]

It really blows my mind on how many comments or snippy remarks people get about their weight or weight loss. Why is it even anyone's business?

I have no qualms about telling someone my weight either back at 280 or now, but what else do they want to know? How often to I dye my hair, use the bathroom? Geez.

[berryblondeboys]

Originally Posted by April Snow

To me, that's the point though - that people don't know the number on the scale. They can look at me and see I am fat but they don't know if I weigh 200 lbs, 250 lbs or 300 lbs (most people anyway). And I don't think they need to know that because the fact is that people make judgements about the number as well as the appearance. So when there are many of us who get the "you don't weigh that much!" type comments, it's not that we are hiding our fat, making it invisible, it's that people are judging us less harshly because they don't add in the stereotypes that they sometimes make in the abstract about someone who weighs 250 lbs.

In the abstract, it's not uncommon for someone to think about a 250 lb woman as unkempt, lazy, constantly eating junk. That isn't who they see when they look at me, regardless of the fact that IS the number I see when I look at the scale. And I don't think I have to make it my job to tell them that they maybe should see me that way, as that 250 lb woman with the negative things they might think about someone who weighs that much.

That's why I may be more comfortable sharing numbers once I've lost a lot more weight, because by then, I won't the risk of those negative judgements even when they do the math and realize how much I must have weighed at one point. By then, they will see the achievement instead, and losing weight is considered a laudable, good thing despite the fact that having the weight to lose in the first place is considered a very bad thing.

Now of course, I'm not saying I agree with those stereotypical judgements or that I think they are correct in any way. But I don't think that it would benefit me to take on the battle of trying to change people's perceptions - I've got enough battles of my own to fight right now as it is, and I need to keep my energy focused on my own health and weight loss.

This is an interesting discussion point. I think people get shocked by numbers as no one knows what the numbers mean or look like because we are all so secretive about it.

Even now in our weight loss group that I'm with at the gym, I'm one of the heaviest of the 4 women, but I'm the fittest and look the trimmest because of body build and fitness level. We simply are CLUELESS as a society what a number looks like or means.

With more of us sharing it, it's less of a shock.

[freelancemomma]

Hmmm. I guess I'm an outlier here. I have no problem telling people my high weight, my current weight, my age, my salary... None of it changes who I am or how I look(ed).

Freelance

[chubbiegurl]

I never wanted to disclose my weight, even If u could clearly see how big i was. I just kept thinking I wear it well, until I stood next to someone that weighed less. Now I am not worried so much about telling what I weigh, but what I used to I don't say. I guess anyone can do the math if I tell them how much I have lost. I am a numbers person always adding everything but I don't think everyone is like that.

[eliza422]

I have only told one friend how much I lost. I never told anyone I was even dieting until my Mom this past summer was worried that I looked "ill" in a bunch of pictures. It was easy for me to hide my efforts because I work from home for a company that's one state away, and I only have a few friends and I don't have any kind of relationship - it's easy to diet when you are essentially a hermit!

I've been big since I was a kid, so I've always had a lot of shame around my weight.

I never volunteer anything. Some people have mentioned, because even *I* can tell that I've lost a lot ... I usually say "quite a bit, I'm still going" or just "thank you" and try to change the subject.

I wish I could be like all these folks who can share all that kind of stuff, but I've never been able to, and I'm not going to start now!