I have gotten some compliments from my family, which is very nice. I have also been told not to lose too much weight. I'm a 12/14. I don't think I am going to have that issue. It's odd to me that if you are successful at losing weight that people think you will take it too far.

Not comments but i received as a gift from my mother. Shirts that were larger than my current size. Not meant to hurt but didnt feel good. However i am determined never to wear that size or shirts.

I get comments from my neighbour a lot. She is forever saying that I've lost weight. She had gotten me a dress for my birthday two weeks ago and I said I'd keep it for Christmas because it seemed like an appropriate one to wear on a day of spending time with family. The dress itself is slightly too big for me which makes me not particularly like it that much on me. (May get it taken in, if possible) I was in her house Christmas night and she said I looked stunning in it. When I was with family they said I was looking great, but nothing about my weight. It's nice getting comments about looking well, though.

It's always a mixed bag for me. I get compliments now from my neighbors, but when they say something "you look great" or "you're a skinny mini" (so not the case) they say it when I can't hear them properly and like a dork, I ask, "what?" which they then have to repeat the compliment. Then I get embarrassed than I made them say it twice, like I liked hearing so much the first time, I needed it said another time. I'd hate to be the center of weight conversation: good, bad or otherwise. If it's forum, I'm okay with chatting about all the kinds of diets and so forth. I have no problems shouting I lost 100lbs to anyone, hey it was a giant accomplishment and I'm darn proud of the fact.

On the hurtful side, I guess what when my FIL was going through my DH's Facebook pics and spotted me in this t-shirt my DH bought me four years ago. Okay, I've never been one to "care" I was overweight, so my DH bought me two shirts one a men's 2x and the other 3x, he said he wasn't sure which would fit better. To top it of it says "I'm fat, let's party" I wore both these shirts with pride...the 2X being a little tight at the time. We got a shot of me hiking in the 3X and it was form fitting too...but now years later, I wear them as night gowns because I still love them :) I decided early summer to wear the 2x for a family walk down the beach. DH takes a picture of me in it and I'm swimming in the thing, the shortsleeves were touching mid lower arm, swimming. FIL sees this picture as says to DH...she ever try Sensa? I hear great things about that. DH nearly choked as I'd reached my 100lb weight loss goal by then. He said, "Dad, it's the shirt she's wearing, not the body beneath it".

Those kinds of remarks hurt the most to me...not being mooed at by a car of jerks or hearing teen boys say, "jeeze that's a large a$$" as I feed my kids fast food. But it's hurtful when you know you've worked that large a$$ off and yet people don't give you credit...5, 10...50, 80...doesn't matter. We work hard to do this...it's not easy. Saying you're doing it wrong or should do it this way, doesn't help with the psychological battle we deal with daily. My face was clearly thinner...instead of she should try Sensa, maybe say, she has nice smile in this picture...In all these pictures I notice Kat is moving and smiling...two things that were very rare years ago.

I don't compliments, I get them by walking without a cane which no one has seemed to have noticed. No one seems to notice that I walk the city of New York now instead of complaining, it's too far. No one seems to notice I smile like crazy in pictures, hello, I never took pictures before! I think that would have been the better acknowledgement to me. I never comment on weight per se, but try to pick up on things like that...doesn't it feel good to be able to move around freely? I love how I can walk through a china store and not have to worry, you know? That opens up a jovial conversation because all the people who have lost big or small have a time when they remember when their weight has impeded them...like riding a roller coaster with my children and squeezing down the isle of bus on field trips, huffing and puffing while hitting all the rides (even the ones I don't fit) at Disney World. Now I, at 41, wear both my children (12&16) out. Can we take a breath, my feet are killing me...don't want to miss that New York minute, do ya? That's the best compliment EVER

I was fine with the one-on-one comments with my grandma and even my aunt who had noticed (cause they asked and i told them i had lost 25 lbs just watching what i ate and periodically going to the gym. Then for christmas dinner my aunt busts out with kimmie lost 35 lbs, doesn't she look good?? And i had to correct her it was just 25, then everyone was looking at me and i started to just shy back behind my cousin to get out of the limelight. I'm pleased with my progress but I really don't need someone shouting it to the rooftop for me and I really did not want to be center of attention. I have such a long way to go that 25 just seems a drop in the bucket and Im still not close to "normal" size. Its almost like i wanna hide out till its done then be all...tada! and POOF! then ignore the fact ;)

Originally Posted by mamakat:
I don't compliments, I get them by walking without a cane which no one has seemed to have noticed. No one seems to notice that I walk the city of New York now instead of complaining, it's too far. No one seems to notice I smile like crazy in pictures, hello, I never took pictures before! I think that would have been the better acknowledgement to me. I never comment on weight per se, but try to pick up on things like that...doesn't it feel good to be able to move around freely? I love how I can walk through a china store and not have to worry, you know? That opens up a jovial conversation because all the people who have lost big or small have a time when they remember when their weight has impeded them...like riding a roller coaster with my children and squeezing down the isle of bus on field trips, huffing and puffing while hitting all the rides (even the ones I don't fit) at Disney World. Now I, at 41, wear both my children (12&16) out. Can we take a breath, my feet are killing me...don't want to miss that New York minute, do ya? That's the best compliment EVER

Yeah, see, that's the thing. Those who place a premium on looks and on having an acceptable appearance never seem to acknowledge the quality of life issues or health issues -- and I'm including emotional health as well as physical mobility and lower cholesterol & higher immunity & etc. They **say** they do, that it's all about health, but they really don't. Because discerning whether someone is happy or healthy requires really paying attention to the person, really seeing them as they are and really viewing them with empathy, as a whole person, not just judging them on their outer appearance. This is where you find out who really pays attention to you, who listens to you, who observes you -- in short, who really cares for you. Your husband obviously does. Your father-in-law just isn't paying attention. He sees you but he's not really taking in what he sees.

Good for you for knowing what is really important, and that is how much your life has improved, not how a particular shirt fits.

I'm enough of a diva that I was actually hurt that I got no acknowledgement at all this Christmas from anyone I saw, but when I think about it I can't really blame them. I've only lost 70lbs and I have nearly 200 left to go. And I know that a lot of people feel like if they acknowledge a weight loss it's like they are denigrating you for being fat in the first place. Still... I just want to hear one "you look great".

My brother called me a cow this weekend. but that's nothing new. I have a feeling I could be 20 llbs under goal and he'd still say that.

I've lost 45 pounds in the 5 months since I last saw my parents and they didn't say a single thing about the change. Radio silence, which is not what I expected at all. Oh well, I'll survive.

I'm 10,000 miles away from my family, so only a few friends saw me for Christmas when we went out to karaoke and drinks. They didn't know me when I was almost 200 lbs, but I still got some compliments on how tiny I looked and one guy kept trying to get me to eat more because I "should embrace that I'm a bigger girl...it's sexy." Yeah, thanks for the tip, man-who-is-fully-aware-that-I-have-a-boyfriend-and-therefore-has-no-chance. Clearly I should stop trying to get healthier to suit your personal tastes. *Eyeroll*

The smile and nod method seemed to get me through the night pretty well. (The alcohol probably helped...)

Just keep doing what you're doing. The most important thing is that you feel healthy and comfortable in your own skin.

My one aunt told me not to get rid of the clothes that are too big for me because I may need them if I gain the weight back. ... Thanks. :/

Originally Posted by gatorgirl6:
My one aunt told me not to get rid of the clothes that are too big for me because I may need them if I gain the weight back. ... Thanks. :/

I had to chuckle at this because it is such a ridiculous comment. Who would say such a thing to someone who is in the process of losing weight. Seriously?!

Originally Posted by Shrinkberry:
I've lost 45 pounds in the 5 months since I last saw my parents and they didn't say a single thing about the change. Radio silence, which is not what I expected at all. Oh well, I'll survive.

If it were my family I would have asked (hopefully in a lighthearted manner) whether anyone had noticed the change. I guess *I'm* enough of a diva to seek recognition for my efforts, even if I have to force it!

F.