Anyone struggle with maintaining or losing during a relationship
In November 2010 I started my journey. There was no one, and nothing that could distract me or make me go off track. I lost a total of 140 lbs. in 1 year.
In August 2011 I had a short less than 2 month long bad relationship that I went off track and didn't lose anything for at least 3 or 4 months. This was unusual for me since I could have easily lost 20-40 lbs. during that time. After I left him I went back on track and quickly started losing again. I was now aware that a future relationship could possibly change my thought process and progress on weight loss. It's sickening when for 2 years you've only seen the scale go down, then start watching it slowly creep up.
In June 2012 I met my Boyfriend, and felt happy and content with him. Early on I started to gain a little bit. I quickly gained 5 lbs. which turned into 10 lbs. and then 14 lbs. I actually gained 19 lbs. total at one point from my lowest weight since losing, but that weight was impossible to maintain so I don't consider it. At first I told my Sister and Brother-in-law that I had gained 10 lbs. and later they talked about it and she told me that they both said they couldn't notice, and if I was happy and I still looked the same then that's what matters not a number. I felt that was true and didn't worry so much. I haven't went off track, I've just been more lenient than normal.
In July I gained somewhere from 5-10 lbs. then August to now gained 14 lbs. I keep losing like 6-8 lbs. of it then it comes right back. I seriously gain VERY easily! I can literally take a bite of cheesecake and gain 2 lbs. It has happened! Luckily as fast as I gain weight I can also lose it. In October I felt rushed to lose the weight for Halloween and couldn't seem to get to where I wanted. Then last week I talked to my boyfriend about my recent struggle and he said that he hadn't noticed I gained anything, and that I was perfect how I was and he loves me for the beautiful person I am both inside and out. Then not sure if he said it to make me feel better or what but when he hugged me a few days later he said I was getting bony. The fact that he didn't put pressure on me was such a huge relief. I'm not losing weight for anyone but myself, but hearing this was nice to know either way he still loves me for me. This week I have lost 7 lbs. and want to stay on track 100%. No nibbles or tastes here and there from now on. I need to remember the rules and tips I followed for myself and get back to using them. Right now I am 7 lbs. away from where I want to be at least for now. Losing this 15 lbs. is harder than 140 lbs. ever was!
Has anyone had a struggle while in a new, or current relationship with losing or maintaining their weight?
Last edited by GypsyQueen; 11-20-2012 at 02:17 AM.
I don't know how you eat but I am assuming that if you can drop 5p in a week (when you're 9p away from goal) and gain it back very easily I suspect you're eating extreme low calorie for certain periods of time? If that's what you're doing expect to yo-yo like crazy.
Again, I am only speculating since I have no other info to go on.
I eat low calories but not extremely low. What happens is I watch all week but allow myself more than I'd usually eat. I know what I'm doing to cause the up and down, that's not the question. The question is if anyone has felt content in a relationship and let themselves gain. Im fully aware of the gain and refuse to go above a certain weight happy or not.
I'm going to step around the whole numbers issue (but damn would I love to pull numbers like yours!) and say yes, relationships make it harder to lose weight. Especially good ones, because your partner makes you feel perfect and you lose focus, or date nights throw your weekly caloric intake out of whack.
But relationships can also drive weight loss if you manipulate your brain the right way. I love my fiancé, he's my life, my reason, and my best friend. I'm losing weight for me but also for him, so that he can have a beautiful wife, an energetic lover, a healthy mother for his future children, arm candy for his business functions, a companion in his travels and hobbies who can keep up with his pace, and a healthy minded woman to spend his days with. He's what I tank of when I'm tempted to buy that candy bar or eat that poutine.
I agree with KatBot - it is SO easy to gain in relationships, but if you think about it there are lots of reason to lose as well. I met my now husband at my lowest adult weight, then put on 25 lb by the time our wedding rolled around. And then put on another 25 after that. Eep! I was fat and happy, what can I say? But as the days pass, I know that being comfortable isn't an excuse. I want to be around for as long as possible, and I want to have a healthy pregnancy one day, and have energy to live my happy life to its fullest. So it goes both ways!
Well that's a silly question - people will use ANY reason to gain if they're not vigilantly guarding against it. If it isn't happiness with a job or new boyfriend, it's baby gains, mid-life gains, stress gains, sleeplessness gain, you name it. It doesn't have to happen, it IS always a choice, but circumstances surrounded by food celebrations, like holidays and dates, do make it exceptionally easy to justify eating off plan.
I'd suggest finding desserts that you can eat on your plan and intentionally working in those 'fun' food times in a way that doesn't make you yo-yo. Yes, you can indeed enjoy a boyfriend and NOT gain ten pounds
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 11-15-2012 at 09:35 PM.
Yea, it's been pretty hard. Despite the constant reassurances and support, there's still the "Want to go get tacos al pastor?!" or "c'mon baby, this movie theatre butter popcorn won't hurt you!" and the best, "But every girl needs a little sugar, right?"
Yes! My boyfriend has a huge sweet tooth, and it's so much harder having that stuff around. But, I am much happier with him than I would be without him, and I think happiness is actually very motivating for me. I might do accomplish things like weight loss from insecurity, but then I'm likely to do it in an unhealthy way and have it not last. My bf thinks I'm beautiful as I am...and that makes learning to lose weight in a healthy way much easier. So, it's kind of mixed when I think about it.
Oh yes, it is proving very difficult. My boyfriend doesn't think I need to change, but I definitely do! I just keep doing what I"m doing and I hope he will see things my way eventually.
I gained pretty much most of my weight after meeting my husband and quitting smoking. Yes, it is easy to allow yourself to overeat and get into bad habbits when you're happy and secure with a partner, but Arctic Moma said it best: "people will use ANY reason to gain if they're not vigilantly guarding against it".
You CAN be in a happy, healthy relationship and have a happy, healthy body. Is it easy? Not for all of us. Is it worth it? Absolutely.
Although I do agree with the "people will use any reason to gain", I also believe that sometimes relationships complicate our lives and throw us off track. It happened to me, twice. When I met me now fiance we did a lot of eating, and I was more interested in getting to know him then I was in counting my calories or exercising.
Time went on, food kept being our "go-to" date and we both gained weight over 2 years. One day we stopped and started being healthy minded again, lost 50lbs in a year. We got engaged in May 2011 and again our healthy lifestyle crashed and burned. Engagement parties, celebration dinners with friends took our minds off track. We gained weight back and are now trying to lose it again.
All of that could have been avoided for sure but I do think that relationships tend to easily take our minds off track.
i DEFINITELY do. i dont think its an "excuse", i think it causes life changes when you're in a relationship. you feel confident, your insecurities start to go away. as a result, you're not as worried about how you look so you lose vigilance.
my ex and i put on a whopping 130 lbs between us in 5 years. also, you eat together, it's a social thing. you probably go out to more restaurants and indulge in things you normally wouldn't.
like i said, you cant "blame" weight gain on a relationship, but for me it's definitely a factor.
Personally I think being single and unemployed would be the ideal situation to lose weight and get into great shape and yet I've seen on this very forum people complain that it is hard to lose weight in these conditions.
I think you should just read your sig and think about it what the answer is, for you. Clearly you have it somewhere in that brain of yours.
I've been married for like ever lol but I know my hardest days are usually on his days off of work. When he is around it is sooo much more difficult to stay focused & on plan.
I think really it is just having another person around be it a partner, boyfriend, spouse, family, friends, etc..
They can make you feel lax in your focus, or offer food, or change up your routine, etc... & that all can make things difficult.
Plus probably any type of new situation (being a relationship or anything new) would probably throw your focus and plan for a loop lol
Anyone struggle with maintaining or losing during a relationship
