Does anyone else see this behavior as abusive, or is it just me? That fat grabbing and jiggling thing is just plain mean, and the comment "I'll get excited when you hit 100?" Really??? My husband is far from perfect, and has shown lack of support more than once, but for the most part, he's got my back. That's how it should be.

I don't know how long you've been together, but since you refer to him as SO over BF, I assume it's been awhile, and he's not someone you'd just kick to the curb. I would certainly have a talk with him, tell him how you feel, but also explain your expectations. Be specific. If that fat jiggling thing bothers you (it would bother me) tell him to stop, and suggest he show some enthusiasm once in awhile.

Then go out and buy the book Why Does He Do That?

If I'm totally out of line, I apologize. I hope I'm wrong and it is all about his insecurity and that you can work through this. It's a lot to expect when we meet our SOs fat, have a relationship fat, and then start losing. It can be scary for the SO.

Don't let his lack of enthusiasm stop you from reaching your goals!

Wow, so much helpful advice and encouragement! I love it here!

I did a lot of thinking during my swim this morning. I stepped back from my emotional response a little and looked at it analytically. You know those stereotypical sitcom type guys that mean well but perpetually say the wrong thing? well that's my man to a t. I know enough of his thought processes to get that there's a good chance that the "100" comment was meant as encouragement. Lousy encouragement, but this is from a guy who once told me he considered flowers "fiscally irresponsible gift giving", because they don't last! But, I know how much he loves me.

I can see the insecurity too. He's a groomsman for his sister's wedding this summer, and I think he'd like to lose a little weight. And he's never known me not fat, so for a species that doesn't deal with emotions well, I can see where I'm throwing him for a loop. I'm going to have a chat with him tonight and see if I can convince him to swim with me. He's eating paleo with me, but his portions are gargantuan, and he has stomach issues. Maybe being more involved and losing some weight will help him.

Oh, and I stopped the fat jiggling thing this morning. I grabbed his belly and did the same thing. When I got growled out, I pointed out that I didn't like it either. :p!

Again thanks so much guys!

[QUOTE=Radiojane;4519529]

Oh, and I stopped the fat jiggling thing this morning. I grabbed his belly and did the same thing. When I got growled out, I pointed out that I didn't like it either. :p!

QUOTE]

:joker: LOL, good for you!

Outstanding!!

My husband used to use a tone with me that I found so condescending. I would tell him to stop, but he wouldn't. It wasn't until I started using that tone with him that he stopped. He didn't like it either! LOL!

You just made my day!

While you may be right in that it's a personal journey and it's technically not his job to hold your hand and pat you on the head. BUT it's also not his job to be a jerk (sorry for sounding mean but that's the first thing I thought of when I read) either. My ex was like that and I've realized now that he was insecure about himself and wanted to bring me down. Sadly for me it worked and I never lost the weight when I was with him. You deserve to have someone cheer you on and encourage you instead of bring you down.
And 50lbs IS a huge loss! It's hard work no matter what you're weight is at first. You should be proud of yourself for what you've done so far cause like you said it took a lot of hard work and lots of sacrifices. Weight loss is physically and emotionally hard work so you should be proud of every single pound you have lost cause most toss the towel in and give up. I've only lost 25 and I want to give up already so I can only imagine the hard work it will be to get to 50!

Good for you radio jane!!!

You go, Radiojane!

You sound like a very confident lady! Hang in there and congrats on your weight loss so far!

And, thanks for the giggle..."douche kazoo". Love it :)

You should be so happy with losing 50 pounds. It is really a great accomplishment. My hubby is not always supportive either, I think sometimes he believes that he needs to be funny at my expense in order to lighten up the fact that I feel I need to lose weight.

Are you kidding 50lbs is a huge loss!!! take a look at any average 5 year old lol...thats a big chunk! keep on truckin and do it for yourself...:hug:

:hug::hug: :hug:First I want to say to you congratulations on your weight loss.
Second I agree with a previous post THIS IS ABUSIVE!
Third I believe we teach people how to treat us or what we will accept.
I attended a conference on Toxic people and he fits the profile.
Unfortunately when dealing with toxic people we have to own our role in the relationship. Where does a spouse think it is right to grab your skin and taunt you.
Please believe that if you never lost another ounce of weight that gives him no justification to treat you in such a demeaning way.
Change is hard whether it is weight loss or personal growth.
We all need to boundaries and set limits on behavior that we are willing to tolerate. Would you allow this type of behavior from another person?
A spouse is to love ,honor, cherish and be supportive...I am not getting any of this from your post..
My personal opinion Red Flags are going off ! I would definitely believe what is right in front of you even though it is painful to admit the truth.
I hope you realize you have accomplished a great deal with losing weight and you need to give yourself a pat on the back.
Wishing you the best,
Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

Hugs!

50lbs is amazing!
Keep up the good work!