I believe the question "why I am so inadequate" just sets on the wrong foot. Think more positive please! Self defeating questions won't get you anywhere, guaranteed.

Hey T--maybe this will make sense to you. A while ago, I had a trainer (I was her class project!), and she showed me how to measure my heart rate on the treadmill, and set the incline and the speed so I was JUST in the fat-burning zone, and no more. The idea was that once I was there, there was no reason to make it harder, and that this would let me keep going as long as possible. Your results sound like you are in the zone too!

My first thought, even before reading your post, was, "This poor kid hates herself." This was based 100% on your screen name. Please consider putting something positive under it to let yourself know that you are not a tub of lard. What a horrible thing to see with every post. This might even be the one time it's a good idea to ask the mods if you can change your screen name. I know this is frowned upon, but a positive attitude makes a world of difference. I really believe the weight loss game is 90% mental - that's why it's so important to go at this from the right perspective.

If counseling didn't work in the past, my advice would be to try a different counselor. If you can't do that right now, at least be positive with yourself. force it. Fake it. Do it until you believe it.

You're making fantastic choices and have had great results. Let yourself take credit for the success. Be proud of it! Own it. Never put yourself down. Never. You're worth more than that.

Lin

i get similar feelings when the "new-ness" of dieting

at first im pretty gung ho and im losing weight super fast so its novel for me. as time goes on, im not losing as fast and i realize that even though ive already lost X number of pounds.. im still fat. even worse, im still going to be fat for a long time.

im in this zone right now. i start feeling good when i get around 160 so i know i have to just power through the next 25 lbs. it sucks. im not going to feel that great about myself and the weight loss is going to be slower.

maybe this is how you're feeling?

Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it. I borrowed the Beck workbook from the library to look at. It is nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way. Even on the days I don't like myself I make myself get up and work out and try to eat right instead of eating to try to numb it all. I have even started wearing makeup and fixing my hair every day instead of just a ponytail and bare face, just to get myself to actually feel pretty.
I think maybe it is just that this is the first time I am actually staying on plan for this long, and seeing the weight come off, I just am scared i will mess up yet again and gain it all back plus extra. Again, I really do appreciate all the input and help. :goodvibes