I've fallen so far
 

I started my weight loss journey last June. I was so excited for this new diet and exercise thing because I had never dieted or exercised in my life and it was all new and thrilling and I had an amazing support system at school.

After losing 50 pounds, I was elated. And everyone made sure to tell me how good I was looking. But then I went away at Christmas and when I came back I stopped. "Things got busy" I said and I never went back to the gym, stopped weight watchers, stopped everything. Well low and behold I gained back all 50 pounds, lost my support system (having moved back home from school) and have lost all willpower, desire to lose weight, except for the nagging feeling I have throughout the day when I don't fit into my jeans or into the dress I used to love.

Overall I'm so depressed that I got back to this point I am ready to just say, fine, bring on the next 50 pounds, may as well be 300 by Christmas, because its too embarrasing to try and fail again.

I can't seem to remember how happy I was and it's making it impossible to start again.

I know this is a rant. But I just wanted to maybe find someone out there that could empathize and get me back on track.

I'm sorry. I know that place. It's really hard. All I can say is, you know that saying, Bodies in motion stay in motion, and bodies at rest stay at rest? Once you've stopped dieting, it's hard to start again. But once you start--even after having just one good day--you get a little momentum going to keep it up. Good luck.

You have to dedicate yourself, there is no way around it. No magic motivation or special solution, just white knuckled commitment until it becomes habit again, then an iron clad will to correct when you slip, always move forward, and never EVER give up.

When yore mentally and emotionally ready you CAN do this. It is never too late. But being fed up isn't enough. Hating the fat isn't enough. You have to be ready to change fundamentals about your choices and lifestyle that aid you in moving toward you goals, not away from them. And that can be the challenge. I wasn't ready to do it for 22 years of life. Then when I was, there was no quitting and no turning back.

You don't lose large amounts of weight through perfection - I've had horrible days, binges, maintenance breaks galore and even lazy regain times when I have to catch myself and correct back on course. Two babies in this journey so far, as well. If it took perfect adherence to lose weight I'd have failed spectacularly. But it doesn't perfection, it takes perseverence.

You can do it, when you're ready. And we'll be cheering for you :grouphug: