Need motivation
 

Hi
Heads up, this might become a long story

Much of my life I have struggled with weight. But the initiative to become healthy started in 2010 when my work started to slow down and I was getting home earlier than usual. Through much experiments and research I finally found that being on Paleo diet while doing beachbody programs like P90X and turbo Fire was working. I lost 16lbs in three weeks. I felt great..
I started dating a guy who was a 'health nut' and he liked my enthusiasm for fitness. However in a few months he didn't see enough 'progress' and decided to part ways in 2011. At the same time I started a new job which required me to be glued to the seat and lunch breaks were a no no
I put on all the weight, and some more

Then later part of 2011, I was fed up - I opted for hcg diet since I knew I would not have time for exercise and diet. I lost 25lbs in total and maintained it for 6months. Until I dated another guy who criticised my weight and that brought my spirit down. Yes- i put on the weight back.

I know I had a pattern of dating certain men, so I took a break. More importantly since july 2012 I have been attempting to get back on hcg diet and get healthy and the previous failed attempts haunt me..

I have been reading and reaching out to understand the reason but I wanted to know what were the defining moments for you guys? I am sure everyone reaches the breaking point but wanted to know what was the dialogue you had with yourself to push through and forget the past failures? Any suggestions?

I have started again with P90X and paleo diet.. however these failed incidents do nag me now and then and deter my goals.

Thanks for reading

Seeing pictures of myself. I didn't let anyone take a picture of me for years.

In all honesty, if I'd depended on motivation to get me to change my life, I'd still weigh twice what I do now. Motivation comes and goes and is completely undependable. You're a lot better off with determination. Determination is actually within your control; you can choose to be determined, you can choose to be on plan despite the influence of people in your life.

Don't worry about previous attempts. I've never met anybody who lost all their weight the first time out and never looked back; maybe there are some people like that, but I certainly don't know them.

Good luck.

Welcome to the forum. I'm not even going to try to type your user name! I'd never get it right! We don't know much about you, so it's difficult to give advice. We all need our own motivation, and that is usually different for different people, ages, family situation, etc. It's even different for people of different weights. Someone trying to lose 150 pounds to get their life back is going to have different motivation than someone with 35 pounds to lose who wants to get healthier and look better.

It hit me that I was eating great foods and totally unhealthy junk at the same time and that was keeping me fat. I cut out the junk and increased the good stuff. I also added exercise. This is a change that I can live with forever. It IS NOT a diet. Motivation, for me, was to just get in decent shape. I had no health issues, but realized I was getting older and less likely to stay healthy if I continued to carry 100 extra pounds around.

As you've proven to yourself twice in 2 years, going on "diets" only works while on the diet. To be really successful at weight loss and at living a healthy life style, you have to do things that are good for you that will work long term. Hence the cliche, "life style change." The idea of doing something temporary while wanting the change to be permanent just doesn't make sense.

Fad and crash diets are usually unhealthy, even over the short term. I believe hCG is one that is not supported here because of its extreme nature and posts regarding this plan may be deleted by the moderators. Please be careful if you chose to go this route. There are many who follow the paleo plan, though, with great success.

I hope you find the support and motivation you need in here. Good luck.

Lin

ya can we have some more info? how much are you trying to lose all together and why? tell us about yourself ;)

What helped me most is I read a quote saying that it's not about motivation - it's about commitment. That's what I am now, committed. Motivation ebbs and fades. Motivation is not reliable. Commitment is.

Thank you all. Makes sense- motivation does deter many times.
Well as for me, I am 65lbs overweight and would like to lose it gradually. I want to lose weight more for health reasons, I have been diagnosed as a prediabetic and I worry that the weight gain and loss is not good for my body. Besides with my previous experience I realised that exercising and good diet makes me feel more vibrant and less exhausted...
Well I have taken the first step and lost 2lbs in three days just with eating better and exercising. I guess it's my body adjusting. I hope to lose weight as well as find a lifestyle I can stick to so the yo-yoing shall stop.

Thanks again everyone for responding

I agree that determination - not motivation - is the key. Motivation is something that comes & goes for me 20 times a day. It's based on emotion, and only works when it's present. Determination is a decision that's present regardless of circumstances or emotion.

Regarding reaching that point (actually making the committed decision to do lose this weight for once & for all) was simply a matter of being sick to death of my weight and dieting. After literally hundreds of diet attempts over 35 years, I'm exhausted by even the idea of another extreme diet/exercise attempt and the drama that goes with it.

It's really a matter of being truly ready and truly willing to make a lifestyle choice. It's okay if you're not. You will be. And when you are, choose something sensible you're willing to do for the rest of your life. Good luck to you!