When you find shocking photos
 

I just was going through the iphoto library on the family computer to look for some photos of dogs for an article I'm writing for work. When I was searching through the thousands of photos from the last couple years, I found some of me my older son had taken. I didn't even know they existed! They were from before I started losing weight and man, are they shocking to see.

I just saw a bunch of photos of me in the past week from our vacation the other day too. When I see those sometimes I don't recognize myself (especially when it's mostly a body shot and not a face shot) as I don't know that 'shape' of me yet. Other times I see myself and I see the pooch or the flabby, loose skin, etc. But after seeing the "old" me, I cannot deny even the worst of the "new" me is way, way better. And I'm not even at goal and even gained some while on vacation.

Anyway... it's shocking! I'm too lazy to show the photos, but if you want to see them, I posted them on today's post on my blog. I even bravely posted one of me in my swimsuit while on vacation.

Editing to add the link to the blog page as it's been a few days and people might get confused as to why I'm now showing landscaping stuff or something else! LOL http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/2...s-i-never.html

I hate finding shocking photos. I have only lost 30-31 pounds so far and I see pictures from the 20 pound lost and I still don't like myself visually in photos (somehow I don't see it in the mirror I still see the skinny me...figure that out LOL).

But I'm keeping them. I'm taking ones now. I need to see my progress for the obvious reason of seeing it, but also because I do not want to go back there. My mother's side of the family resigns themselve to "fat is your fate" type mentality. I won't. I tried and it just made me miserable (no offense to others that are okay with that)...and in pain which was the primary reason I started this journey. I was so angry that I couldn't do things because of my body habitus.

Thank you for sharing! Today is one of those "Am I really doing anything? I've been working my rear off but I look the SAME even though I've lose 30+ lbs so far..." days for me, and your post and pics are the encouragement I needed!

Congrats to you! :)

I remember finding such old pictures on my hard drive. What shocked me most was how old my face looked at my heighest weight—often people would say, "when you're heavier, your face doesn't show that many wrinkles", and this may be true when you're 50, I don't know... but what the heck, I was 25 and I looked older than today at 33. o_O

I am SO Jealous you went to Croatia! I want to go so badly and you even went to those GORGEOUS waterfalls -sigh- I can't decide if I want to go there or to Bora Bora for my dream Honeymoon.

You look great btw. :)

Originally Posted by Ksquared:
I am SO Jealous you went to Croatia! I want to go so badly and you even went to those GORGEOUS waterfalls -sigh- I can't decide if I want to go there or to Bora Bora for my dream Honeymoon.

You look great btw. :)

Thanks... Yes, we just got back from a 3.5 week trip. My husband is from Croatia so we go back every few years, but it had been SIX years since the whole family went. It is as beautiful as it looks in pictures.

You look so much younger now! I'd say you lost yourself some 20 years with those pounds. Congrats!

I find shocking photos are the best way to break me out of a funk when I'm having a dysmorphia day and feeling much uglier/fatter than am. Side by side pictures help me see reality, rather than just my projection of it. But that doesn't mean they aren't awful to look at!

I found pictures of myself when I was between the ages of 10 and 14 last night when I was just a normal child/teenager at a normal weight before I put on all the extra pounds. I had the best holiday ever two years ago when I was 19. But I just can't face to look at the pictures because of how big I look in the pictures. It's awful.

I took a look at your pictures and wow! What really struck me is how beautiful you look now. I mean, there are a few totally gorgeous pictures of you from your trip. I am not trying to be mean - and I have had this said to me and now I get it - you look about 10-20 years younger now than in your higher weight photos. That's the comment I get the most - not even about my weight loss - but about how much younger I look. I also used to hear that if you are heavier, your skin is stretching tighter, therefore you don't have wrinkles - which makes you look younger. Umm...been there done that and...nope. I might have more wrinkles/saggy skin now, but my overall appearance, posture, agility, all make me look a lot younger than when I was heavy and almost immobile.

You look terrific!

Oh, Melissa. You don't only look (WAY) younger, I'm sure you feel much younger. I'm sure this trip was much easier to "take" at this weight, as opposed to the one 6 years ago. We have similar battles (MIL's, water retention, lol...) and, I know we don't KNOW eachother, but I'm gonna put this out there: I'm proud of ya. What you've acomplished is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. People do not realize how hard of a battle it is, and I just wanted to say.. Good job. You really really do look like a whole new person. The 'first' person looked haggard and sad, but the 'second' person looks vibrant and happy, youthful and ready for lifes adventures!! Yey!! :lol:

Okay, that was enough of me waxing poetic today, lol.. I just wanted to say that. Awesome, awesome stuff. You go girl! ;)

Lol, a few weeks ago I kind of accidentally shot a picture of my face with my iphone. Not sure why, I was in the gym and I felt, as I always feel, much younger than I am. I looked at the pic and thought, "Who is that old person?"

Lol, I deleted it, who needs that?

I like who and what I am and how I look, I don't need to look at pictures that make me feel bad about myself.

I only have one picture of me two decades ago when I was at my heaviest weight ever. I lost that weight and have more or less kept it off for a long time and I am not interested in that previous person's weight. I have an old photo someone shot of me in a box somewhere just in case I'd ever have an interest in looking at it but I don't worry about that person anymore.

Like that old saying: "Don't look back, you're not going that way."

What a huge difference. You can do so much more now - all while looking better and feeling healthier! Never lose sight of what you've gained through losing :D

Pardon me for being a creeper but I checked out your blog and I wanted you to know that when you're smiling in that last picture you're very attractive.

Suggestion - smile more. :D

re:
 

Yep, you definitely look younger. (Not like you looked super old before!)

I agree with John- that last picture is very nice - the lighting and background just flatters you to no end.

WOW! You look so much younger and more vibrant. It's like a totally different person. It's like the real you isn't hidden any longer. What an accomplishment!

You look SO much younger, it really is shocking. And you do indeed have a gorgeous smile, really lights you up and showcases your beauty.

Thanks for sharing these!

Originally Posted by Arctic Mama:
I find shocking photos are the best way to break me out of a funk when I'm having a dysmorphia day and feeling much uglier/fatter than am. Side by side pictures help me see reality, rather than just my projection of it. But that doesn't mean they aren't awful to look at!

It is so true. I am not a person who likes to take photos. I don't know what came first, me being unphotogenic and hating what I saw, or fearing the camera, therefore being very unphotogenic. BUT... I force myself now to get in front of the camera and it has helped me tons and tons and tons during times the going has been tough. I'm light years from where I was and I want to be even better going forward!

Originally Posted by guacamole:
I took a look at your pictures and wow! What really struck me is how beautiful you look now. I mean, there are a few totally gorgeous pictures of you from your trip. I am not trying to be mean - and I have had this said to me and now I get it - you look about 10-20 years younger now than in your higher weight photos. That's the comment I get the most - not even about my weight loss - but about how much younger I look. I also used to hear that if you are heavier, your skin is stretching tighter, therefore you don't have wrinkles - which makes you look younger. Umm...been there done that and...nope. I might have more wrinkles/saggy skin now, but my overall appearance, posture, agility, all make me look a lot younger than when I was heavy and almost immobile.

You look terrific!

Thank you so much. My husband was so happy to capture a few photos of me looking good. He gets so frustrated as I do not photograph well usually. He tells me, "You have such a beautiful face, but you always screw it up somehow when you get in front of the camera!" I never believed him as all I ever saw was the screwed up, bad pictures, right? LOL But, even I am beginning to see - dude... I'm not too bad looking! And yes, maybe my wrinkles show more (and they do), but seriously, I look a ton younger and I've earned those wrinkles!

Originally Posted by kateleestar:
Oh, Melissa. You don't only look (WAY) younger, I'm sure you feel much younger. I'm sure this trip was much easier to "take" at this weight, as opposed to the one 6 years ago. We have similar battles (MIL's, water retention, lol...) and, I know we don't KNOW eachother, but I'm gonna put this out there: I'm proud of ya. What you've acomplished is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. People do not realize how hard of a battle it is, and I just wanted to say.. Good job. You really really do look like a whole new person. The 'first' person looked haggard and sad, but the 'second' person looks vibrant and happy, youthful and ready for lifes adventures!! Yey!! :lol:

Okay, that was enough of me waxing poetic today, lol.. I just wanted to say that. Awesome, awesome stuff. You go girl! ;)

Thank you truly. The person in the first photos was tired and haggard and worn out. I really was. Now I feel alive. That alone is worth the journey. NO WAY could I have done the things I did on that trip - climbed a mountain, walked for hours, up and down hundreds of stairs, etc. I did all of that without feeling worn out. HUGE improvement.

Originally Posted by Amarantha2:
Lol, a few weeks ago I kind of accidentally shot a picture of my face with my iphone. Not sure why, I was in the gym and I felt, as I always feel, much younger than I am. I looked at the pic and thought, "Who is that old person?"

Lol, I deleted it, who needs that?

I like who and what I am and how I look, I don't need to look at pictures that make me feel bad about myself.

I only have one picture of me two decades ago when I was at my heaviest weight ever. I lost that weight and have more or less kept it off for a long time and I am not interested in that previous person's weight. I have an old photo someone shot of me in a box somewhere just in case I'd ever have an interest in looking at it but I don't worry about that person anymore.

Like that old saying: "Don't look back, you're not going that way."

No, I need to look back to remind myself of where I don't want to go. Plus, photos are a lasting memory. There are shots of me with my kids and of important events in my life. I want to keep those - even if I look like the dickens. Now, if it's a photo that is truly bad (like eyes closed or something) then I'll delete it, but if it's just me looking bad in general and not just a bad shot, well... that was me. Like it or not.

Originally Posted by sagebrush:
You look so much younger now! I'd say you lost yourself some 20 years with those pounds. Congrats!

Thank you very much. People have said it, but I didn't see it until these photos - which show it quite clearly to me.

Originally Posted by SerenityDiva:
I hate finding shocking photos. I have only lost 30-31 pounds so far and I see pictures from the 20 pound lost and I still don't like myself visually in photos (somehow I don't see it in the mirror I still see the skinny me...figure that out LOL).

But I'm keeping them. I'm taking ones now. I need to see my progress for the obvious reason of seeing it, but also because I do not want to go back there. My mother's side of the family resigns themselve to "fat is your fate" type mentality. I won't. I tried and it just made me miserable (no offense to others that are okay with that)...and in pain which was the primary reason I started this journey. I was so angry that I couldn't do things because of my body habitus.

I get it as I never saw the 'fat' me. I would zero in on the eyes in the mirror and see me, Melissa. It was only when I would see photos that I realized, "wow! I'm huge!" In the mirror, even now, I can see all the same imperfections as before or same good traits, not really seeing the whole picture.

Originally Posted by Imato5:
Thank you for sharing! Today is one of those "Am I really doing anything? I've been working my rear off but I look the SAME even though I've lose 30+ lbs so far..." days for me, and your post and pics are the encouragement I needed!

Congrats to you! :)

I am glad it was helpful to you. We all have days like those. Just remember to take photos of you along the journey. They truly help!

Originally Posted by Kery:
I remember finding such old pictures on my hard drive. What shocked me most was how old my face looked at my heighest weight—often people would say, "when you're heavier, your face doesn't show that many wrinkles", and this may be true when you're 50, I don't know... but what the heck, I was 25 and I looked older than today at 33. o_O

I remember my mom saying the same thing - she looked younger because of the extra weight. Well, I look a LOT like my mom. I have to disagree! Lighter equals younger! And fitter equals even younger still. I got proof of that on vacation - fit woman look great into their 70s!

Originally Posted by Dreamer2012:
I found pictures of myself when I was between the ages of 10 and 14 last night when I was just a normal child/teenager at a normal weight before I put on all the extra pounds. I had the best holiday ever two years ago when I was 19. But I just can't face to look at the pictures because of how big I look in the pictures. It's awful.

In time you will be able to - when you are 'past that' and thinner. I had a hard time looking at pictures of me when I was thinner and younger. I was like, "What did I did to myself?!?!?" And felt helpless in doing anything about it.

Originally Posted by krampus:
What a huge difference. You can do so much more now - all while looking better and feeling healthier! Never lose sight of what you've gained through losing :D

I hope not too! And I can DO so much more and I have dreams of doing more well into old age, so I have to stay thinner and keep fitter!

Originally Posted by JohnP:
Pardon me for being a creeper but I checked out your blog and I wanted you to know that when you're smiling in that last picture you're very attractive.

Suggestion - smile more. :D

Not a creeper and much appreciated to hear a younger male saying I do indeed look attractive. In that last photo we had been walking the walls of Dubrovnik for 2 hours, up and down stairs and it was the hottest day on RECORD in Dubrovnik. Got to over 101 degrees that day (though this was still morning). I was a hot, sweaty and sticky mess, but it's one of the better photos of me. My husband says the same thing - I shine when I smile and in real life I smile a lot - lots of laugh wrinkles are proof of that, but I just don't photograph well and a smile is rarely caught.

Originally Posted by Vex:
Yep, you definitely look younger. (Not like you looked super old before!)

I agree with John- that last picture is very nice - the lighting and background just flatters you to no end.

Thank you - I guess a hundred degree day is good for good photos! LOL

Originally Posted by KarenMI:
WOW! You look so much younger and more vibrant. It's like a totally different person. It's like the real you isn't hidden any longer. What an accomplishment!

Thank you so much. I 'feel' more vibrant, for sure and I'm thankful I can be that for my husband and especially for my kids.

Originally Posted by My Michelle:
You look SO much younger, it really is shocking. And you do indeed have a gorgeous smile, really lights you up and showcases your beauty.

Thanks for sharing these!

Ah, thank you. It's hard for me to think of myself that way. I don't know why, but it's good to hear. There's a line between being humble and being cocky... I don't want to feel I'm "all that", but I should realize what I have too.

I took a look and really, you look like a different woman. Obviously, related women, but you do look healthier, fitter, and happier (dare I say?) than in your heavier pictures.

I've had this happen to me too -- whether it's Facebook or an old file that crosses my path, I'll take a look at that picture and not recognize myself... I can't believe I let myself get that heavy and I can't believe that I didn't see how awful I looked, how low-energy I felt, and how unhappy I was with myself.

It's true, sometimes we get complacent with the weightloss we've had because we see what's head of us -- for me it's another 14 lbs or so, 24, if I really want to get down to 140 -- and we forget that we've actually done so much already.

I'm sure you'll finish losing the pounds that you gained during vacation... the same thing happens to me when I travel... and you'll continue on and look really great and amazing.

You look amazing!!

Shocking photos are fun for me. It really helps keep pushing me to strive to get fitter :)

My grandmother recently found a photo of when I was 18, just after I bought my prom dress. It was from BEFORE I started lifting and it was VERY shocking!

Wow--those old pictures don't even look like you!! I know you as the photo in your avatar! And those pictures in Croatia look like an ad for Patagonia, the fitness clothing. :-)

Originally Posted by Rana:
I took a look and really, you look like a different woman. Obviously, related women, but you do look healthier, fitter, and happier (dare I say?) than in your heavier pictures.

I've had this happen to me too -- whether it's Facebook or an old file that crosses my path, I'll take a look at that picture and not recognize myself... I can't believe I let myself get that heavy and I can't believe that I didn't see how awful I looked, how low-energy I felt, and how unhappy I was with myself.

It's true, sometimes we get complacent with the weightloss we've had because we see what's head of us -- for me it's another 14 lbs or so, 24, if I really want to get down to 140 -- and we forget that we've actually done so much already.

I'm sure you'll finish losing the pounds that you gained during vacation... the same thing happens to me when I travel... and you'll continue on and look really great and amazing.

Thank you so much Rana - I'm just in from an hour of VERY fast walking (14:40 minute miles after the first mile). 4 miles in less than an hour. I feel so good and I realize that even though my weight climbed up a bit and my fitness slacked a bit with some many interruptions, I'm still doing really well and my motivation is there to CONTINUE to try my best.

And I know you will too!

Originally Posted by sontaikle:
You look amazing!!

Shocking photos are fun for me. It really helps keep pushing me to strive to get fitter :)

My grandmother recently found a photo of when I was 18, just after I bought my prom dress. It was from BEFORE I started lifting and it was VERY shocking!

Thank you! And you didn't post the picture?!?!?!? Shame on you! Your before and after is amazing too - and you did it when you are still young - meaning so much more of your life will be in goooooood health - good for you!

Originally Posted by HungryHungryHippo:
Wow--those old pictures don't even look like you!! I know you as the photo in your avatar! And those pictures in Croatia look like an ad for Patagonia, the fitness clothing. :-)

You know, I started both my part-time jobs at a much lighter weight. I'm sure most of them would be shocked to even KNOW about my 'befores'. As usually when people say they lost some weight, they are thinking 15-20 pounds or something, right?

And too funny about the fitness clothing - none of them are Patagonia, though I have a skirt that is from them, but that didn't go on the trip with me.

Fantastic transformation! I love seeing the changes. Some day I'll put old photos of me up somewhere. Congratulations. You really do look fantastic.

Lin

Melissa - I thought of you and this post this morning after finding some "shocking" old photos of me on my husband's computer. My eating has been rotten these past 2 weeks - I feel like saying, "Hi, I am guacamole and I am a carb addict!" I have been feeling so bloated and scared to step on the scale. Seeing photos of me at my high weight has really jolted me back to reality! I never want to be that size again! There really are so few photos of me at my high weight (I avoided the camera like the plague), but sometimes it really is helpful to see how we have changed and what we don't want to return to.

Pretty amazing, Melissa. You absolutely look happier, younger, and more rested in all your new shots. You also look comfortable - with yourself, with the camera being there, in your own skin.

Keep up the great work!

Originally Posted by berryblondeboys:
. Other times I see myself and I see the pooch or the flabby, loose skin, etc.

shut the front door please sweetheart.

you are gorgeous. to be quite honest, i think you had a beautiful glow even at your largest weight, and that's not flattery- i sincerely think so.

i am in my mid twenties and you have less loose skin then me.

you look fantastic!! keep your chin up high!