I've been working with my therapist to determine why I eat when I'm not hungry. Right now at this moment, I am not physically hungry; however, I am bored. Because I am bored, I logged onto 3FC to read posts...but still find myself wanting to eat.
I'm truly trying to figure out why I'm feeling this way at this very moment. I think part of it is because I'm lonely. It's a Saturday night and I'm a single woman. I don't feel good about myself (my weight gain), so I made a choose not to date until I lost some weight and gained some self-esteem about my body. Another reason is because my cousin is in town for a conference and we decided to meeet up. I was excited to see him and had hoped that we would hang out for at least a few hours. However, he met me for 1 drink and then told me he had plans with his group of friends. I guess I shouldn't be so bummed about it...after all, he is a young guys (age 25) and I'm 8 years older than him...logically, I understand why he wouldn't want to hang out with his "old" cousin.
So now I'm back in my apartment on a beautiful Saturday night and I'm soooo bored. *sigh* I tempted to eat. I wish I had ice cream to eat, but all I have is healthy food. I want either cake or ice cream. I wish I had little debbie snack cakes.
Sometimes I think my weight gain is a result of being lonely...and that if I actually had a social life, then I wouldn't eat so much. It's just so hard for me to make friends. I'm new to Seattle (okay, maybe not THAT new...but new enough) and my coworkers are 20 years my senior and/or married.
What do I do? Even if I were to pop in a DVD right now, I'd be tempted to eat something. I wish my life wasn't so boring. All I'm missing is a cat...and then I can make the single-woman sterotype official.