Thanks everyone
i'm 5'6" and am medium build, certainly not a "small" person and i'm glad to see other size 12's here, i always felt like an odd ball or there was something "wrong" with me that i was never a size 4, 6, 8 like "everyone" else that has lost weight! And i do need to lose more judging by the stubborn fat roll on my abdomen and very tops of my thighs although some i'm sure is loose skin. And yes age certainly does make a huge difference. i didn't even TRY to lose weight for about 17 yrs because of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and i knew that once i decided, it had to be for good so that is why the redistribution of fat, shape, shocks me as i didn't know that and wasn't prepared for that (age 25 vs age 50!)
i should buy a scale, i think i'm afraid of it and i lived in denial of my weight for so long and i am afraid of seeing a few lbs of gain for fear of what that might do to me emotionally. i guess i have to do what works for me and that is size and fit of my current wardrobe. i cannot go to the doctor as we are very limited income and i have no health insurance sadly. But i do have to say i am proud that i did this all myself. For some reason a light bulb just went off about this time last year and i decided to do it. it definitely has to be a mental choice and decision and to permanently change your life, i had to be ready for that and i don't know WHY i became ready but i am eternally thankful that i DID! And it began with finding out how many calories are in foods (SO DEPRESSING how many there are!) and also the phrase: if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting the results you've always gotten. That alone changed everything because it made me face i had to do something or i will stay the way i am. Just thought i would share with you all
Thank you so much for the congrats

, the only other person of support that i have is my mom (in another state)
Susie