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Old 06-12-2012, 08:22 AM   #1  
Overweight again...dang
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Default So apparently I'm obsessed.

I'm obsessed. What-Evah!

This is what some friends/coworkers told me when I talked to them about this diet I started. They asked about it, so I told them. But they didn't like what they heard and they think that I look fine at my hefty 167 pounds, so that means I'm obsessed. Because I want to lose 30 more pounds, I'm obsessed. Never mind that my healthy weight range for my height ranges from 120 to 145. Even by medical standards, I'm overweight. I'm shooting for 135, and figure if I range plus or minus that by a few pounds, it will be OK.

They say, just eat healthy. Well, that hasn't been working for me. And quite honestly, it hasn't been working for them either. I've been counting calories and eating healthy for 2 years only to lose 40 pounds. Now in the grand scheme of things (I posted about this) that's not bad. It's perfectly healthy to go the slow approach. Probably even healthier than crash dieting or even what I'm doing now. But frustration has taken over, and I'm looking to push through the next few pounds a little bit more quickly.

What's interesting is this negative feedback only drives me to keep going. it's strange because I'm uber sensitive about what people think of me and I would think that negative feedback would knock me down. Instead, it's pushed me forward. I don't know if it's the message or the messenger, though. These women are on the heavy side. They have belly fat, and could stand to lose a few pounds themselves. The fact that I'm doing something to lose the weight, and they're not while they criticize me only makes me want to lose it more. It's like, tell me how obsessed I am when I lose 20 more pounds and you're still talking about "when you start losing weight".

Does anyone else ever get that? They think you're obsessed because you've been dieting for a long time, or because you choose a weight loss program that costs a lot of money or any weight loss program that they just don't like? Or maybe your methods just don't line up with theirs? Maybe you declined cake at lunch or chose salad over pizza? Does the criticism help or hinder your progress?

Last edited by twinieten; 06-12-2012 at 08:31 AM.
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Old 06-12-2012, 08:38 AM   #2  
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Well, you can be obsessed or not. If it's all that you think about and talk about - you're obsessed. Just that you are watching what you eat and are trying to lose weight does not make you obsessed or changing your approach does not make you obsessed... having all consuming thoughts is obsession.

However, changing how you lose weight can be dangerous - all liquid diets, purging, stopping eating, etc are unhealthy and anyone who cares about you would voice their concern, but this still isn't 'obsession', but destructive behavior.

Not sure by your post where you are mentally, but your coworkers might be legitimate in their concerns or completely off base.
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Old 06-12-2012, 08:53 AM   #3  
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I know people who deal with that. I don't because I don't talk about it much. I've shared my process with close family and a few friends. I don't go into much detail though. Losing weight is just really personal for me. I have my own particular habits I need to overcome, just like everyone. I don't see much value in talking about it because for the most part I'm not that interested in the feedback.

I'm not much of a drinker and sometimes I don't want any alcohol at all. So being out with a group that is drinking could be hard because they would automatically feel odd that I wasn't drinking and they were. They'd want reasons. It was as if my not drinking was a critique of them. I just think that's how people are. I actually find people who feel a need to announce their diet every time someone asks if they want pizza pretty annoying. I'm not saying you are like that, but I have seen people talk about their diet incessantly and they do seem kinda obsessive.

Last edited by daniprice; 06-12-2012 at 09:14 AM. Reason: typos
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Old 06-12-2012, 08:58 AM   #4  
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I avoid all that talk but not telling people I am on a diet. Somehow, when people hear you are on a diet , they just can't resist making comments. I would ignore them as much as I possibly could.
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Old 06-12-2012, 09:32 AM   #5  
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I guess it depends on what diet you're doing, maybe what you have to do seems extreme to them. My mom called me obsessive because I count every single calorie (and she said that fruits&vegggies don't count), also when I first started researching I spent hours trying to figure out what I needed to do (because all past attempts failed). But it could be that those people just aren't supportive, and that doesn't improve matter. All that matters is that you are losing weight healthily, for yourself and your health.

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Old 06-12-2012, 09:55 AM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daniprice View Post
I'm not much of a drinker and sometimes I don't want any alcohol at all. So being out with a group that is drinking could be hard because they would automatically feel odd that I wasn't drinking and they were. They'd want reasons. It was as if my not drinking was a critique of them. I just think that's how people are. I actually find people who feel a need to announce their diet every time someone asks if they want pizza pretty annoying. I'm not saying you are like that, but I have seen people talk about their diet incessantly and they do seem kinda obsessive.
This is such an excellent comparison! Someone should really sticky this.

I think it's quite easy to get carried away with the initial excitement of discovering things you never knew about food, calories, nutrition, blahblah, and want to share it with people. But that all dies down - if it's truly a lifestyle change, "on-plan" eating and activity just becomes habit and routine. Weight loss is almost as simple as a side effect of this!
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Old 06-12-2012, 10:29 AM   #7  
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I have a really good friend who is being like this towards me. She doesn't "understand" why I want to get in great shape. I'm no longer overweight so that pretty much means I should stop according to her. Never mind that I'm at the very top of BMI, body fat etc. etc. still. Never mind that I'm working with a qualified nutritionist who knows what they are doing etc. etc. She thinks I'm pushing too hard, being obsessed bc/ I want to get in the best shape that I can...ummm wtf is wrong with that exactly? I want buff arms - SO WHAT? What gives these people the right to chime in on our bodies?? So frustrating. I don't talk about my diet, workouts etc. I don't need to discuss it with anyone but my trainer and nutritionist. She just keeps seeing changes in my body and basically wants to give advise she is not qualified to give - my guess is...JEALOUSY.
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Old 06-12-2012, 10:46 AM   #8  
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What gives these people the right to chime in on our bodies?? So frustrating. I don't talk about my diet, workouts etc. I don't need to discuss it with anyone but my trainer and nutritionist. She just keeps seeing changes in my body and basically wants to give advise she is not qualified to give - my guess is...JEALOUSY.
I think jealousy can play a part. but I also think it can be way more basic than that. The fact is the way we look is a big part of how people identify us and when our appearance changes it can be really shocking.

Jennifer Hudson inspired me to get serious about my weight loss. I was 9 months pregnant and saw what she did after having her son and just going through her family nightmare. I just thought how I had no excuse. At the same time, I really thought she looked pretty terrific before. I remember her wearing a size 16 Vera Wang dress to the Golden Globes a few years back. She looked amazing. So I definitely felt that maybe she was pushing too hard, but that was because that wasn't the way I was used to seeing her.

I was the same way when a friend's husband lost weight. He didn't look overweight to me before, but he was. He lost weight and it was jarring. I was like "Is he eating?"

I don't think people mean to put us in a box. But when we lose weight, dye our hair or make any noticeable change, it can take people awhile to get used to it and not feel they have to defend the "old" you.
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Old 06-12-2012, 10:58 AM   #9  
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I think people get annoyed when someone talks about their diet while others are trying to enjoy a meal. So if someone asks, Aren't you going to have X? I just say, Mmmm, that looks good! Then change the subject.
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Old 06-12-2012, 12:13 PM   #10  
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I know this isn't always true, but your post made me think of this:




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Old 06-12-2012, 01:14 PM   #11  
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Lockitup - that is AWESOME.

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Old 06-12-2012, 01:32 PM   #12  
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Lockitup...I agree...AWESOME!
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:40 PM   #13  
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Well, someone told me I was obsessed and I said, 'YUP!' But I need to be. I need to be focused and feel like I am learning and feel like even if I have times when the scale slows down, that it's all a part of the learning and losing process. Am I doing it the slow way? Why yes! But does that mean that even doing it slowly that I can't try new things, change things up, keep learning and seeing what works for me? No. But if they want to think that I'm obsessed, that's fine. I'll just keep truckin' along and doing what works for me. Because as someone who was nearly 230lbs., this is something that I will HAVE to work and think on for the rest of my life even after I reach 'goal'. They call it obsessed, I call it focused. But frankly, I don't care what they think. And neither should you. Do what works for you and keep on truckin'. What works and is extreme for one is not for another. Do what works for you and just don't worry about what they think or say. But for future reference, I guess I'd just not say anything about it being a 'diet' and just go on.
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:43 PM   #14  
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I think that the word obsession is so over-applied in our culture, and not only that, it is often used hurtfully. I can't even count the number of times my mother has told me I'm 'obsessed' with weight loss because I refuse to eat a slice of her pie (pecan, so probably like 500 calories per slice!). People will say I am 'obsessed' because I get up at 6AM to do Yoga. People say I'm obsessed because I would rather spend my weekends hiking in the beautiful wilderness rather than sit at home and lounge around on the porch.

Obsessed, like Lockitup demonstrated, I think is a word that people throw out to try and justify why they aren't as dedicated to get healthy as the person they are accusing. Many times, I also think that it is people who have never struggled with weight or food that throw this term around. I think that someone who has never struggled with a weight problem/food addiction would have a pretty hard time understanding just WHY we need to put so much energy into making sure that we do the activities that we need to do in order to keep on track. Sometimes, talking about our journey and sharing it with others helps us, at least it does for me, and if someone said I was obsessed for sharing my journey and struggles with them, I would be rather upset.

Why is it okay to talk incessantly about sports or fishing for men? You never hear men being labeled as 'obsessed' because of their passion for The Patriots or the Broncos (not saying you ladies can't be into sports! Just picking on the men XP). Being overweight or obese has become such a stigma in our culture that even talking about the problem is looked down upon. I, for one, am not ashamed of my journey. It is true that some people do take it to extremes, but from the sounds of it this is not the case with you.

On a final note, I have always understood the word 'obsessed' to mean being so focused on a particular thing that it interferes with leading a healthy and normal life. On the contrary, at least for me, it is because I am so focused on my health now I finally feel like I AM beginning to lead a normal and healthy life.

Last edited by AbstractSilver; 06-12-2012 at 02:47 PM.
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Old 06-12-2012, 03:39 PM   #15  
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Originally Posted by AbstractSilver View Post
On a final note, I have always understood the word 'obsessed' to mean being so focused on a particular thing that it interferes with leading a healthy and normal life. On the contrary, at least for me, it is because I am so focused on my health now I finally feel like I AM beginning to lead a normal and healthy life.

yes,yes,yes!!!


You said it perfectly!!! Thank you!
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