I'm losing weight, but I want it gone. Now. I know in my mind that weight loss takes a long time, but I can't help myself from looking at clothing stores and thinking, "how long before I fit into those jeans?" Some days I feel like I'm doing well and I just live my life (I live in the present), but other days I have moments where I think, "wow, I have a long ways to go," and I feel discouraged. I know I have at least a year before I reach my goal and it seems like a long time.

Also, I have this habit where when I'm looking forward to pampering the new slim me, I forget about current me. For example, if I see a shirt or pants I want, I don't buy them because I think, "what's the use? they don't look good on current me and I should wait to buy clothes for the new me." I guess my main issue is accepting current me. That and it just bothers me that I'll have to buy new clothes as I lose pant sizes only to have to buy new ones over again. I don't like wasting money. I know I'd probably wear a new size for quite a while, but buying clothes to fit along the journey is really bugging me.

Any ideas on how to get out of this "now" mentality?

I wish I could tell you, I often struggle with this, myself. All I can say is that you should probably reward yourself with a new item of clothing for every weight loss milestone, anyway. I know that the last time I dieted, I went 50 lbs before I changed my wardrobe. I looked pretty frumpy frump, and the fact that I looked like crap in ill fitting clothes wasn't helping my motivation.

Hang in there...you will NOT regret sticking with this.

We're really taught and encouraged to have this mentality, so we don't have to fight just our own brains, we have to fight the cultural messages and stereotypes we're constantly bombarded with. It's not just about learning a new way of thinking, it's about unlearning cultural beliefs that are deeply ingrained. And to change one belief, we have to challenge and change so many others.

The worst of all is that we're supposed to be "perfect" in all aspects of weight loss or there's just no use in trying at all. But it's also "traditional" (more like ritualistic) to blame and condemn ourselves for thinking this way.


I don't have a cure-all, except to say that I've been able to slowly unlearn a lot of the unproductive "traditions" I've been taught. It's hard, and it's very imperfect.

One of my best strategies was changing my primary focus to "not gaining," that way if I didn't lose, or even if I gained, I didn't feel the temptation to quit - because "not gaining" (even if I'd already gained) was the most important thing to me. No more binges in the name of "starting fresh tomorrow," because if I gained one pound I sure as #$%$ didn't want to turn it into 2 (whereas we're often encouraged to believe that a big gain isn't really all that much worse than a small gain or even a no loss).

Another helpful strategy for me was rewarding myself for small losses (every 5 lbs). Eventually I settled on buying a donut bead (Pandora jewelry style - but much cheaper from craft stores like Michael's, Hobby Lobby, or JoAnn's) for every 5 lbs.

I now have two bracelets (one with 20 bead, and one with 1 bead) each bead representing 5 lbs.

I wear my bracelets to my weekly TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly - sort of a poor woman's Weight Watchers) and out to eat (when I wear it to a restaurant, it reminds me to watch my portions).

I've thought of wearing the bracelets daily, to remind me constantly, but the beads are rather heavy and when my arthritis is acting up that's not practical.

Then I found a new motivation helper - while visiting family in Illinois and finding a ring that fits one donut bead. I bought it and bought a bead to fit it.

I didn't "earn" this bead, but I bought it to symbolize "the next bead I'm working to earn." So when I've lost 110 lbs, I will put the ring's bead on my bracelet and I will buy another bead for the ring. I'm wearing the bead constantly (and it's a constant reminder of what I'm working for - the next 5 lbs).

As for clothes, I also am extremely frugal with clothes, so everything I buy is from thrift stores or the BCOutlet.com or OneStopPlus.com clearance pages (I recently bought 7 pairs of pants/capris for $23.00 including shipping and handling - all drawstring waists so they should carry me through a few sizes).

When I've shrunk out of an outfit, I sell it at consignment shops and sometimes even make a profit, and usually at least break even (because I shop sales and thrift stores). Because I can end up buying some really nice close and basically "breaking even" it's like getting free clothes.

By paying so little, and getting money back, I find it's hard not to invest in clothing that fits now.

It does take sone dedicated shopping (about two to three afternoons a month for the thrift stores, and checking the BCOutlet page a couple times a week) and a willingness to "strike out" more often than not, but I've been able to buy virtually all my clothes at less than 10% their retail cost, and only have to pay full price for bras, underwear, and socks.

It's all about micro-strategies - learning that even the small details/efforts matter, and in fact the "little things" often are the most important in the long run.

It's like what they say about financial budgeting "watch the pennies and the dollars take care of themselves."

With weight loss, watch the small details (the ounces, the bites, the small frustrations) and the pounds take care of themselves.

Having faith in the big picture is the hardest part.

Last summer, in August, while about 2 pounds from my Weight Watchers goal, I had a bad day, and I was out in the garden, having a pity party, wondering why I could not be like all the "NORMAL" people.

All I wanted was a cheeseburger and several beers. As I continued to pull and sling the weeds over my back, (pulling weeds is very theraputic) I realized, "NORMAL" is a state of mind!

The "NORMAL" people I had in my mind, I came to realize, were not the "NORMAL" people that I want to be a part of. I don't think badly of these people, I just needed to readjust MY mind

It has taken me a whole year to lose 35 pounds and get to where I want to be. But I decided I would not be in a hurry. I would rather take my time, develop good habits, and be happy and healthy with what I'm doing. While this is not my first rodeo with weight loss, I want it to be my last rodeo, with maintaining the loss and the good habits.

So far so good. 9 months in maintaining! I am a lifetime Weight Watchers member, 41 weeks in a row of perfect attendance. It's what works for me. We all have to find the balance that works for us.

Just keep in mind that in everything we do we should take it little by little. When buying cloths, just think that it is your reward for loosing weight so that you will not be able to think about the money you spent. Just do it to motivate yourself to reach your goal.

This is so encouraging! I love the slow and steady, build good habits route. This isn't my first rodeo either, and I want it to be my last!

It can be a challenge because I have this vision of me at goal in my head, but I am not quite there yet. However, I am in such a better place physically today than a few months ago. The process is working, so I focus on that to keep me going.